tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32999577977650097172024-03-13T21:09:17.010-07:00Just Ask DExpand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with the tools you need to excel in your personal and professional life! Book a free coaching session to start reaching your goals today!Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comBlogger177125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-47356453183391319692024-02-10T15:35:00.000-08:002024-02-10T15:36:45.607-08:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoKDnsrppw6eyfYP6ALMj5yJIX6Gn6pwRVUx_0hJCP7hlRA50I5w6LbKBOTaZ1S1DUZXorGqcJetZh-21E5Ja3XWfEda7RFxmU1ogLHI_FdIVFdJAHCI7W3sAb6e0OYP-KmN3o6PAcHLNU1qofAcd61wuuU-rgMfwEp9SyLQhIk53IIFYlHfNXzNZtsdMA/s403/537662_479263702126725_1885455169_n%20copy.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="403" data-original-width="403" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoKDnsrppw6eyfYP6ALMj5yJIX6Gn6pwRVUx_0hJCP7hlRA50I5w6LbKBOTaZ1S1DUZXorGqcJetZh-21E5Ja3XWfEda7RFxmU1ogLHI_FdIVFdJAHCI7W3sAb6e0OYP-KmN3o6PAcHLNU1qofAcd61wuuU-rgMfwEp9SyLQhIk53IIFYlHfNXzNZtsdMA/w400-h400/537662_479263702126725_1885455169_n%20copy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-53077012019501602842023-12-03T13:49:00.000-08:002023-12-03T14:24:05.905-08:00Spectacular Christmas House Decorated Light Show<iframe width="480" height="270" src="https://youtube.com/embed/4oTMwK2eCCE?si=bYQlarvX6PrQ0RnS" frameborder="0"></iframe>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comPlantation, FL, USA26.1275862 -80.233103599999993-22.910426874697574 -150.5456036 75.16559927469757 -9.9206035999999926tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-72232195392232218962023-09-13T11:39:00.002-07:002023-09-13T11:39:29.982-07:00Overcome Doubt and Fear<p><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: medium;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: medium;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6VnV0HniyZdJo3xUHk1ddGFtxmKRrumXq-kGBQAvMuzCqf_ayuPLKLzmGsLag6wJAWjX22c8_bWI337Ac7TxKxsOSshS8ftd5o0oDKLTm33JE0-5EU8pMCwelo5pg3o80rtpqikzH9tKIXbrl2RglBjPS8lB4IXR4NRUX8vNmOpJ2BFFFlTzdIB4av667/s290/doubt&fear.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="173" data-original-width="290" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6VnV0HniyZdJo3xUHk1ddGFtxmKRrumXq-kGBQAvMuzCqf_ayuPLKLzmGsLag6wJAWjX22c8_bWI337Ac7TxKxsOSshS8ftd5o0oDKLTm33JE0-5EU8pMCwelo5pg3o80rtpqikzH9tKIXbrl2RglBjPS8lB4IXR4NRUX8vNmOpJ2BFFFlTzdIB4av667/s1600/doubt&fear.jpg" width="290" /></a></div><br />We were born with only a few fears — like the fear of falling and the fear
of loud noises. All other fears we learn along the way. Like the fear of
failure, the fear of rejection, and even the fear of success. Our greatest
enemy in life is fear; because fear keeps us from doing many of those things,
we would like to do that would make our life more complete and more enjoyable.</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: medium;">Doubt is the first cousin of fear and precedes it. We weren’t born
with doubt. Our habit of doubt has grown throughout our life. If we dwell on a
doubt and give in to it, it then grows into fear. James Allen, author
of, “As A Man Thinketh” reminds us that doubt makes us ineffective, “A doubtful
mind will be as unsettled as the wave of the sea that is tossed and driven by
the wind; and every decision you then make will be uncertain, as you turn first
this way, and then that.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: medium;">If most of our fears and all of our doubts are learned along the way, then
we can “unlearn” them by becoming masters of our thoughts. Zig Ziglar quoted
Mark Twain when he said, “True courage is not the absence of fear, and it’s the
mastery of fear.” The people who live the life of their dreams have
just as many fears as those who live miserable, unfulfilled lives – they have
just learned to master their fears instead of allowing their fears to master
them.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: medium;">Norman Vincent Peale, writing in <em>You Can If You Think You Can,</em>
provides us with a prescription for mastering fear and doubt. “You can cancel
out fear with faith. For there is no force in this world more powerful than
faith. The most amazing things can happen as a result of it…There are
two massive thought forces competing for control of the mind: fear and faith,
and faith is stronger, much stronger. Hold that thought of faith’s greater
power until you believe it, for it can be the difference between success and
failure.”<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: medium;">Doubt and fear are the great enemies of knowledge, and she who
encourages them, who does not slay them, thwarts herself at every step.” —
James Allen <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: medium;">Achieve your full potential. Work with a Business and Life
Management Coach with over 20 years of experience empowering people to attain
self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. Book your
complimentary session at <a href="http://www.denisedema.com">http://www.denisedema.com</a></span><o:p></o:p></p>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-80598955311082754252023-06-23T12:19:00.000-07:002023-06-23T12:19:03.942-07:00Start Reaching Your Goals!<p><i><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-family: arial;">T</span></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtYhGU7vHm8qf-ko38mAe7hIbYG8XCjpJa-5RiI1AaVOC3nTU25wAri6FO9GTqQJHdwVoRKQh3FrQe7ZVacBrxmSGvgK3P9U6riHCgX_Ej93pHHRrllQYo4kCUGqqiDOW9BWzXkCAtbnp4A4ix8TDktpwVO66Nz--WAuZgO1hdZjyqTBr6GOu4kYPhMb6b/s563/goals%2097.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="563" data-original-width="457" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtYhGU7vHm8qf-ko38mAe7hIbYG8XCjpJa-5RiI1AaVOC3nTU25wAri6FO9GTqQJHdwVoRKQh3FrQe7ZVacBrxmSGvgK3P9U6riHCgX_Ej93pHHRrllQYo4kCUGqqiDOW9BWzXkCAtbnp4A4ix8TDktpwVO66Nz--WAuZgO1hdZjyqTBr6GOu4kYPhMb6b/s320/goals%2097.jpg" width="260" /></a></span></i></div><i><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />Is there a goal that you have been
meaning to start working on for a very long time? One thing or another in your
life always seems to get in your way. What you need is a way to get motivated
to start taking action in your life today. You can find the inspiration and the
power within yourself to get to your goals.<o:p></o:p></span></i><p></p>
<p><i><span style="font-family: arial;">• No one is going to do it for you. No
matter how long you wait nobody is going to come swooping in and make your
dreams come true for you. The sooner you accept that the power to reach your
goals is yours, the sooner you can get it together and start working on them.
It is essential to take personal responsibility for your life if you want to
make real changes.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p><i><span style="font-family: arial;">• When you learn a new skill or get
good information from a book you have to actually put the knowledge to good
use. Many people mistakenly believe that reading can replace doing. This is not
the case. When you learn powerful information you have to use it in your life.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p><i><span style="font-family: arial;">• You will only understand the scope
of your actions by actually taking action. People learn by doing. All of those
ideas look really good when you read them in a book but the reality may be more
difficult than you think. You can really only understand the scope of your
goals when you start working towards them.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p><i><span style="font-family: arial;">• Your self-esteem will improve. Doing
the right things every day and working towards your goals will lift your
self-worth significantly. This effect will take hold even before you reach
your goals. Just working towards something important will lift you up.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p><i><span style="font-family: arial;">• You only have so much time, so do
not waste a big chunk of it lost in procrastination. As hard as it is to get
yourself to start, you will be happy to know that things get much better as you
keep going. The steepest hill to climb over is to start. Once you start, you
have conquered the biggest obstacle and this is something that you should be
proud of in and of itself. By starting you put the wheels in motion to create
momentum, and this momentum is crucial to bring you towards the finish line, so
stop finding excuses and ways to delay your start. Choose to take action today,
and never look back. You will be thankful that you did!<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>To get the support you need to
stay motivated to achieve your goals visit <a href="http://www.denisedema.com">http://www.denisedema.com</a>
and book a free session.</i> </span></p>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-68259742394939099562023-05-09T13:40:00.000-07:002023-05-09T13:40:13.337-07:00Are You Really Commited?<p></p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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is it that we tell ourselves we want certain things, but we don’t take action?
We might have the best of intentions to make certain changes in our lives, yet
we do not follow through on our resolutions? <p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Does
that mean we are lazy or undisciplined? Are we afraid of failure? Are we
holding on to limiting beliefs about ourselves? </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We
get frustrated when we think and say we are committed to wanting something for
ourselves, but no action follows that voice of commitment.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When
you fully commit to something, action always follows thought. There is no
question, no debate, no doubt or struggle. You don’t wonder whether you
will take action or not. Commitment goes beyond making a choice. People gain a
mysterious strength and resolve when they make a commitment.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Commitment
is a unique personal experience. There are many types of commitment strategies,
yet the best personal style of commitment comes from a deep emotional awareness
within yourself. Often our commitments are invisible to us and we don’t think
about them as commitments, it is what we do naturally. And that’s the whole
point.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Recall
a time in your life when you were committed to something. You were so deeply
committed that there was no doubt in your mind, and taking action was almost
automatic and effortless. Take some time to answer the following questions to
discover the underlying structure of your own personal commitment strategy.</span></p>
<ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When and where
were you committed? Was it a commitment you made to yourself or others?
Were there any external influences?</span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What were some
of the actions you took? </span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How did you go
about taking action? What was your strategy for taking action? Did
you write down your goal/ commitment or visualize your
achievements? Did you call a friend or work with a professional coach?
What skills or capabilities did you use?</span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What were some
of the emotional reasons why you were committed? Reflect on the values and
beliefs that motivated you to take action and follow through on your
commitment.</span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How did you
benefit from taking action? What was the cost of not taking action at all?</span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How did you
think and feel about yourself as a person? Maybe you felt like a
successful individual or a compassionate person.</span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How did your
commitment impact others? </span></li></ul>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Understanding
and modeling your personal commitment strategy will help you follow a path to
achieve your goals. There is a difference between interest and commitment, interest
gets you started, but your commitment will keep you there even after your
interest leaves. When you </span><b><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">commit to something, there
are no excuses, only results. Get started today and book a complimentary coaching
session at <a href="http://www.denisedema.com/">Business and Life Management
Coaching.</a> </span></b><span face=""Verdana",sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></p> <br /><p></p>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-31807467196330250472023-03-30T16:06:00.002-07:002023-03-30T16:09:18.016-07:00Building Self-Confidence for Success!<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcnigTXc8W0cgs1sxYdz6KjHRiL0DbzagjLhQmW-fd7jCwej8zZiIiQRjV3Vjjr108KQaB_cni2P28dA6nVIG3usSouQL_muvYGaBj0W-yOvOp-QgfQURPbUYpGdIs7Q6jx29i0uAVpNQfs10WTEKmRUpmQzqCTQ-VRrtX8udvA1vIMA5DVGZASVmcjg/s719/confidence-words.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="384" data-original-width="719" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcnigTXc8W0cgs1sxYdz6KjHRiL0DbzagjLhQmW-fd7jCwej8zZiIiQRjV3Vjjr108KQaB_cni2P28dA6nVIG3usSouQL_muvYGaBj0W-yOvOp-QgfQURPbUYpGdIs7Q6jx29i0uAVpNQfs10WTEKmRUpmQzqCTQ-VRrtX8udvA1vIMA5DVGZASVmcjg/s320/confidence-words.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">From the quietly confident doctor
whose advice we rely on, to the charismatic confidence of an inspiring speaker,
self-confident people have qualities that everyone admires.</span></span>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Self-confidence is extremely
important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to
find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: people who lack self-confidence
can find it difficult to become successful.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">After all, most people are reluctant
to back a project that's being pitched by someone who was nervous, fumbling,
and overly apologetic.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">On the other hand, you might be
persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his or her head high, who
answers questions assuredly, and who readily admits when he or she does not
know something.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Confident people inspire confidence
in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and
their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in
which a self-confident person finds success.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The good news is that
self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, whether you’re working
on your own confidence or building the confidence of people around you, it’s
well-worth the effort!</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b style="font-family: inherit;"><span>How
Confident do you Seem to Others?</span></b></span></p>
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%;">Your level of self-confidence can show in many
ways: your behavior, your body language, how you speak, what you say, and so
on. Look at the following comparisons of common confident behavior with
behavior associated with low self-confidence. </span></span><p><!--[if !mso]>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Unresolved Mention"/>
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<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
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</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b style="font-family: inherit;"><span>What
is Self-Confidence?</span></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Two main things contribute to
self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We gain a sense of <b>self-efficacy</b>
when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skills and
achieving goals that matter in those skill areas. This is the confidence that,
if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we'll succeed; and it's this
type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and
persist in the face of setbacks.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This overlaps with the idea of </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">self-esteem</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">,
which is a more general sense that we can cope with what's going on in our
lives, and that we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling
that the people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be able to
control. However, it also comes from the sense that we are behaving virtuously,
that we're competent at what we do, and that we can compete successfully when
we put our minds to it.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Some people believe that
self-confidence can be built with </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">affirmations</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> and positive thinking.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> There's some truth in this that helps you stay positive, but more important is building self-confidence by setting and achieving goals – thereby <b>building</b>
<b>competence</b>. Without this underlying competence, you don't have self-confidence:
you have shallow over-confidence, with all the issues, upset and failure
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</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b style="font-family: inherit;"><span>Building
Self-Confidence</span></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So how do you build this sense of
balanced self-confidence, founded on a firm appreciation of reality?</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Unfortunately there’s no
quick fix, or five-minute solution, but the good news is that becoming more
confident is readily achievable, just as long as you have the focus and
determination to carry things through. And what’s even better is that the
things you’ll do to build your self-confidence will also build success – after
all, your confidence will come from real, solid achievement. No-one can take
this away from you!</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So here are a few steps to
build self-confidence and accelerate towards success.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><b><span>Think what's important to you, and where you want to go. </span></b><span>What are the things that
are really important to you, and what do you want to achieve with your life.</span></span>
</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><b>Setting and achieving goals</b> is a key
part of building real confidence. Goal setting is the process
you use to target and measure your success. Set goals that exploit your strengths, minimize your weaknesses,
realize your opportunities, and control the threats you face. Identify the first step in each goal for attainment, and make incremental movement with activities that drive you forward. Goal setting is arguably the most
important skill you can learn to improve your self-confidence. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><b><span>Start
Managing Your Mind, </span></b><span>l</span><span>earn to pick up and defeat the negative self-talk and self limiting beliefs which
can destroy your confidence. Pay attention to your internal dialogue and start thoughts with positive verbiage like; I can, I will, I am, instead of I can't, I don't, and I'm not.<br /></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Take it a step further and use mental images of what you'll feel
and experience as you achieve your goals – there’s something about doing
this that makes even major goals seem achievable!</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><b><span>And
Then Commit Yourself to Success! </span></b><span>M</span><span>ake a clear and unequivocal promise to yourself that you are
absolutely committed to your journey, and that you will do all in your power to
achieve it.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Self-confidence is about balance. At
one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other end, we have
people who may be over-confident.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">If you are under-confident, you’ll
avoid taking risks and stretching yourself; and you might not try at all. And
if you’re over-confident, you may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond
your capabilities. You may also find that you’re so optimistic
that you don’t try hard enough to truly succeed.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Getting this right is a matter of
having the right amount of confidence, founded in reality and on your true
ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed
risks, challenge yourself and try hard.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">So, how self-confident are you? Start looking at specific
strategies to improve your confidence level beginning with
small, easy wins, you’ll put yourself on the path to success – and start
building the self-confidence that comes with this.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><b><span>Build
the Knowledge you Need to Succeed</span></b><span> by l</span><span>ooking at your goals, identify the
skills you’ll need to achieve them. And then look at how you can acquire these
skills confidently and well. Don’t just accept a sketchy, just-good-enough
solution – look for a solution, a program or a course, a mentor that fully equips you to
achieve what you want to achieve and, ideally, gives you the skills you can be proud of.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><b><span>Focus
on the Basics </span></b><span>when you’re starting, don’t reach for perfection – just enjoy
doing simple things successfully and well to move forward toward each goal a</span><span>nd,
little by little, start piling up the successes!</span></span>
</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 4;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><b>Keep
Managing Your Mind </b>and stay on top of that positive
thinking, keep celebrating and enjoying success, and keep those mental images
strong. On the other side, learn to
handle failure. Accept that mistakes happen when you’re trying something new.
In fact, if you get into the habit of treating mistakes as learning
experiences, you can start to see them in a positive light for growth. <br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Remember to keep yourself grounded. Self-confidence is extremely
important in almost every aspect of our lives in order to become happy and successful. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Source: Mindtools <br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Get the support you need and book a complimentary coaching session at <a href="http://www.denisedema.com">Business and Life Management Coaching</a> to start your self-confidence journey! <br /></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span></p>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
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<![endif]--><p></p>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-76501827473269221942022-11-09T13:34:00.002-08:002022-11-21T08:29:15.069-08:00How to Get and Stay Motivated!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV4y3-EbVlcNvdhIzNHfJuL6CYmYPwMRJSY6rdcn4H5xWk3GD7wRS4bZCA36q8MBLw9g5jprEff8uWHfRclLA-USqKXgfeNe-XuThQ2FRhPiLiaR_vtIapCwIQPlgSk6qb_20YRzRjo-ub2lC6_TLXJPWjJxDjq4NJD98eoJfiyDB1dWPIu3VC863mEA/s1200/extrinsic-motivation.webp" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="586" data-original-width="1200" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV4y3-EbVlcNvdhIzNHfJuL6CYmYPwMRJSY6rdcn4H5xWk3GD7wRS4bZCA36q8MBLw9g5jprEff8uWHfRclLA-USqKXgfeNe-XuThQ2FRhPiLiaR_vtIapCwIQPlgSk6qb_20YRzRjo-ub2lC6_TLXJPWjJxDjq4NJD98eoJfiyDB1dWPIu3VC863mEA/s320/extrinsic-motivation.webp" width="320" /></a></div><p>You likely know of people who have been doing the same thing for years and seem to not have any problem staying stagnet. Whether it be in their marriage, job, or personal endeavors, they seem to be getting along just fine without progressing towards anything "better." </p><p>On the other hand, I’m sure you also know of individuals who focus on the positive, goals setting
and are constantly pushing themselves to greater heights. Be it
promotions at work, building a family, celebrating marriage milestones,
traveling more, or going to school again, these individuals seem to
constantly progress towards something that improves or enhances their
life.</p>
<p>So what’s the difference between these two types of individuals?</p>
<p>What you feel capable of doing comes down to one thing: motivation. It’s the force, or lack of, that keeps driving you forward to overcome challenges and obstacles to achieve your goals.</p>
<p>Without motivation, you’ll give up after a few failed attempts, or
even on the first tough challenge that comes your way. Or you’ll just
remain where you are: unhappy yet not doing anything to progress ahead.</p>
<p>Whether you realize it or not, motivation is a huge force in your
life, and it needs to be harnessed in order to excel and actually enjoy
whatever it is that you’re doing on a daily basis. If you find yourself
thinking, “I need motivation,” there are specific steps you can take.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, many overgeneralize the word <i>motivation</i>. We think of being either motivated or unmotivated as a simple “yes” or “no” state of being.</p>
<p>But motivation is not a switch. <b>Motivation is a</b><b><i> flow</i></b><b>.</b>
</p>
<h3 id="the-motivation-flow">The Motivation Flow</h3>
<p>
To feel motivated, you need to dive beyond the surface. Just reading a
motivational quote, being encouraged by your friends or mentor, or
writing out a short to-do list won’t help you build sustainable
motivation in the long run. </p>
<p>You can think of the motivation that we want to achieve like the Sun
(self-sustaining and long-lasting), which supplies a constant influx of
energy to all life on Earth. Just like the Sun, your “motivation engine”
has different layers, starting from the core and spreading out to the
surface<i>.</i> The surface is what you see, but the real process is driven from the core (your internal motivation); and that’s the most important part.</p>
<p>If you can create a self-sustaining motivation engine, you’ll be able to find more meaning in your life and enjoy every minute of what you’re doing, which will make your roles and responsibilities less of a chore.</p>
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<p>Let me help you understand this motivation flow better by breaking down the motivation engine into 3 parts:
</p>
<ol><li style="font-weight: 400;">Core – <b>Purpose</b></li><li style="font-weight: 400;">Support – <b>Enablers</b></li><li style="font-weight: 400;">Surface – <b>Acknowledgement</b></li></ol>
<h4>The Outer Layer: Surface</h4>
<p>
The outermost layer, also known as Acknowledgement, encompasses any type
of external recognition that might give you motivation. It may come in
the form of respect or recognition, such as compliments and praise.</p>
<p>Or it could be emotional support through encouragement, feedback, and
constructive criticism. It could also be affiliation, where you have
mutual companions or buddies sharing the same goal or burden with you.</p>
<p>One recent study pointed out that “rewards had a positive impact on
work motivation but no significant relationship existed between reward
and job satisfaction”<sup class="footnote_plugin_tooltip_text" id="footnote_plugin_tooltip_1">[1]</sup><span class="footnote_tooltip" id="footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_1"></span>.</p>
<p>Therefore, it’s important to recognize that rewards will motivate
you, but they won’t necessarily make you happier in an undesirable
situation.</p><div class="convertflow-article-in-content cf-2355-area-14952"></div>
<p>This is generally what you see on the surface when you look at other
people. You see the external acknowledgement, respect, and recognition
they’re getting.
</p>
<h4>The Middle Layer: Support</h4>
<p>
In essence, the second layer of the motivation engine (also known as
Enablers) is what supports your goals. They can magnify the motivation
core you have, or speed up the momentum that you build. Basically, they
create favorable circumstances for things to go smoothly.</p>
<p>If you want to know how to find motivation, positive enablers are
key. This could include friends and family, a coach or any support network
you’ve created in life.
</p>
<h4>The Innermost Layer: Core</h4>
<p>
But what’s most important, and the true <i>driving force </i>behind your motivation flow, is the innermost core, your <i>Purpose. </i>Your
purpose is what differentiates the motivated from the unmotivated, the
achievers from the underachievers, the happy from the unhappy.</p>
<p>Your motivational core is your <i>Purpose</i>, and it is sustained by two things: having meaning, and forward movement<i>.</i> With these two as a foundation, you’ll have a power source that will feed you motivational energy indefinitely.
</p>
<h2 id="sustaining-your-core-motivation-your-purpose">Sustaining Your Core Motivation — Your Purpose</h2>
<p>
Having meaning is simple. If you want to learn how to find motivation, just ask yourself a question: <i>Why?</i> </p>
<p>Why are you pursuing a certain goal? If the reason is vague or
unclear, then your motivational energy will be the same. While
motivation provides you energy to do something, that energy needs to be
focused somewhere. So without <i>meaning</i>, there is no direction for your energy to focus.</p>
<p>Yet, having a meaningful objective doesn’t mean you have to change
the world or have a huge impact on society. The secret to meaningful
work is simple: it should contribute value to something or someone that<i> matters to you.</i></p>
<p>One study suggested creativity as one possible path to meaning,
saying: “Many of the core concepts in work on the meaning of life, such
as the needs for coherence, significance, and purpose or the desire for
symbolic immortality, can be reached through creative activity”<sup class="footnote_plugin_tooltip_text" id="footnote_plugin_tooltip_2">[2]</sup><span class="footnote_tooltip" id="footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_2"></span>.</p>
<p>Next up is gaining forward movement. In short, this means to just
keep moving. Like a snowball, motivation from having progress creates
momentum. So to keep this up, you have to keep moving.</p>
<p>The good news is, your progress doesn’t have to be huge for you to
recognize it. Small amounts of progress can be just as motivating, as
long as they keep coming. Like driving a car, you may be really
impatient if you’re at a complete halt. But, it lessens if you’re moving
forward, even if you’re moving slowly.</p>
<p>Creating a simple progress indicator, like checklists or milestones,
is a great way to visualize your small (and big) wins. They trigger your
brain to recognize and acknowledge them, giving you small boosts of
motivational energy.</p>
<p>This is why video games are so addictive! They’re full of progress
indicators everywhere. Even though the progress is completely virtual,
they’re still able to trigger the motivation centers in your brain.
</p>
<h2 id="how-to-get-motivated-daily">How to Get Motivated Daily</h2>
<h3 id="1-find-out-what-drives-you-today">1. Find out What Drives You Today</h3>
<p>
Why not take some time today and do a quick reflection of where you’re
at now? Take one aspect of your life that you’d like to progress further
in.</p>
<p>For example, it may be your current job. Start with your <i>why.</i> Write down your reasons for <i>why </i>you’re in the job that you’re in.</p>
<p>Then, think about your Motivation Core: your <i>Purpose</i>. Write
down what it is within your job that gives you meaning, and what are
some things that will help push you forward in life.</p>
<p>Once you have those points, it’s time to do a comparison. Does your
current job help you make progress towards that purpose that you’ve
written?</p>
<p>If it does, you’re on the right track. If it doesn’t, or if you’ve
realized your life isn’t going where you want it to, don’t panic.
There’re tools that can help you get through this.</p>
<p>Do your best to not focus on the negative. Review your goals and aim
yourself in a positive direction, even if it means that you start small.
</p>
<h3 id="2-change-your-approach-and-dont-give-up">2. Change Your Approach and Don’t Give up</h3>
<p>
When something doesn’t feel right, it’s always a good time to take a
moment and look for a different approach if you want to learn how to get
motivation.</p>
<p>You may be doing everything correctly and efficiently, but such an
approach isn’t necessarily the most motivating one. Quite often, you can
find a number of obvious tweaks to your current approach that will both
change your experience and open up new possibilities.</p>
<p>That’s why saying “one way or another” is so common—if you really
want to accomplish your goal, there is always a way; and most likely,
there’s more than one way.</p>
<p>If a certain approach doesn’t work for you, find another one, and
keep trying until you find the one that will both keep you motivated and
get you the desired results.
</p>
<h3 id="3-recognize-your-progress">3. Recognize Your Progress</h3>
<p>
Everything you may be working on can be easily split into smaller parts
and stages. For most big or long-term goals, it is quite natural to
split the process of accomplishing them into smaller tasks and milestones. There are a few reasons behind doing this, and one of them is tracking your progress.</p>
<p>We track our progress automatically with most activities, but to stay
motivated, you need to recognize your progress, not merely track it.
Tracking is merely taking note of having reached a certain stage in your
process. Recognizing is taking time to look at the bigger picture and
realize where exactly you are and how much more you have left to do.</p><div class="cf-2355-area-21490"></div>
<p>For example, if you’re going to read a book, always start by going
through the contents table. Getting familiar with chapter titles and
memorizing their total number will make it easier for you to recognize
your progress as you read. Confirming how many pages your book has
before starting it is also a good idea.</p>
<p>Somehow, it is human nature to always want things to happen in short
term or even at once. Even though we split complex tasks into simpler
actions, we don’t quite feel the satisfaction until everything is done
and the task is fully complete.</p>
<p>For many scenarios though, the task is so vast that such an approach
will drain all the motivation out of you long before you have a chance
to reach your goal. That’s why it is important to always take small steps and recognize the positive progress made. This is how to keep yourself motivated in the long-term.
</p>
<h3 id="4-reward-yourself">4. Reward Yourself</h3>
<p>
Feeling down about doing something? Dread the idea of working on a particular task? Hate the whole idea of working?</p>
<p>Right from the beginning, agree on some deliverables that will
justify yourself getting rewarded. As soon as you get one of the agreed
results, take time to reward yourself in some way. This creates external motivators to help you feel motivated in the long run.</p>
<p>For some tasks, just taking a break and relaxing for a few minutes
will do. For others, you may want to get a fresh cup of coffee and even
treat yourself to dessert.</p>
<p>For even bigger and more demanding tasks, reward yourself by doing
something even more enjoyable, like going to see a movie, taking a trip
to some place nice, or even buying yourself something. </p>
<p>The more you reward yourself for making progress, the more motivated you will feel about reaching new milestones.
</p>
<h2 id="final-thoughts-on-staying-motivated">Final Thoughts on Staying Motivated</h2>
<p>
Happiness doesn’t need to be a vague term or illusion that you’re
constantly chasing after with no end in sight. By finding your true
motivation, you’ll be one step closer to realizing your happiness and
finding meaning in everything you do.</p>
<p>You may have tried many solutions to help you stay motivated and
found that none of them really have any impact. That’s because a permanent change requires a
holistic approach. It requires more than just focusing on one area of
your life or changing just one part of your routine or actions.</p>
<p>You want to make a fundamental change, but it feels like big, unknown
territory that you can’t afford to venture into at this point in your
life.</p>
<p>The truth is, taking your life to the next stage doesn’t have to be
this complicated. So, if you’d like to take the first step to achieving
your life purpose, the time to learn how to find motivation is now! <br /></p><p>Achieve your full potential! Book a complimentary coaching session to get the support you need at <a href="http://www.denisedema.com">Business and Life Management Coaching.</a></p><p>Source: LifeHacks </p>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-52393284059726301792022-07-02T09:24:00.001-07:002022-07-02T09:24:37.339-07:00There is wisdom in knowing what you don’t know!<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQFiduL6rcKk3r6teYuYwErtbY76EKTwt6R4oQUtybjUr_I2A8hSpFucVR4BzQVc95-miS7P8W3jUKpmFRZnuuu1PeUMPXASuVPEaRFBvJYiZNwt2_bc3VNDpUC2MxiZBRpz_9U9cqguSmI-YyZIGTuJ_i-QB_-v6OOGMAAdE5aWkHOjf7JauOVWDKIQ/s650/knowledge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="650" height="158" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQFiduL6rcKk3r6teYuYwErtbY76EKTwt6R4oQUtybjUr_I2A8hSpFucVR4BzQVc95-miS7P8W3jUKpmFRZnuuu1PeUMPXASuVPEaRFBvJYiZNwt2_bc3VNDpUC2MxiZBRpz_9U9cqguSmI-YyZIGTuJ_i-QB_-v6OOGMAAdE5aWkHOjf7JauOVWDKIQ/s320/knowledge.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> There’s an important kind of wisdom in knowing what you
don’t know.</span>
<p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Too often we fall into the delusion of thinking we know
a lot more than we really do, commonly known as “illusory superiority.”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This can often make us stubborn in our beliefs and
unwilling to accept new information. Ultimately, it stagnates our growth and
inhibits development.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Recognizing what you don’t know actually puts you in a
unique place of power. It can improve your choices in life and career, because
it’s an honest view of your knowledge and capabilities, as well as your
ignorance and limitations.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When you know that you don’t know something, there are
a range of things you can do to improve the situation:</span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Knowing
what you don’t know teaches you what areas you need to seek more information
in.</span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Knowing
what you don’t know gives you the opportunity to refer to someone else who can
help you.</span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Knowing
what you don’t know allows you to step back before making a hasty decision.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Understanding the limitations of your knowledge puts
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weaknesses.</span></p>
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they are true.</span></p>
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ourselves questions, such as:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What caused
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What kind of
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What kind of
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Are there
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What’s one
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Does this
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limitations of your beliefs and knowing what you know vs. what you don’t know.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If you are willing to keep an open mind about your
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better off than if you were to just take everything you believe as complete
truth.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There is wisdom in knowing what you don’t know.
Approach your beliefs with honesty and humility, and that will provide you with
the flexibility you need to begin building a life of genuine happiness.</span></p>
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<![endif]--></a><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><a href="http://www.justaskdenise.com/"><span style="color: windowtext;"></span></a></span><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"></span></span></p>
Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-88824479932548749012022-05-04T10:18:00.000-07:002022-05-04T10:18:54.914-07:00Having Presence and Charisma are Vital in Management! <div><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: medium;"></span></span></p><p><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEx1m9POOUXKfGIWhRrf3zvaDJGIPU_v0uEOQyG3x0Cnckr7WuGy0ALagk_6TLbVIhuwWlLeESlpn8jPBLulxyqDUQFmxy74abf-o0xs8EpUd0Of0IjPiIRQUcTB9h0pXQha2YiiRp7dXcBewJ38hLWlAUkrE2AlXwrPycgMxLMDhL3-ZX_vDgSTmg8Q/s1243/Presence.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1043" data-original-width="1243" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEx1m9POOUXKfGIWhRrf3zvaDJGIPU_v0uEOQyG3x0Cnckr7WuGy0ALagk_6TLbVIhuwWlLeESlpn8jPBLulxyqDUQFmxy74abf-o0xs8EpUd0Of0IjPiIRQUcTB9h0pXQha2YiiRp7dXcBewJ38hLWlAUkrE2AlXwrPycgMxLMDhL3-ZX_vDgSTmg8Q/s320/Presence.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: medium;"><span><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: medium;"><span>What makes people interesting? Those
with presence seem to create a halo effect around them. There’s a sense
of passion, confidence, enthusiasm, authenticity, captivation, and
comfortableness about them. So we say, “</span></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i>They have a presence.”</i></span><span style="font-size: medium;"><span>
</span></span></span></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Try these habits that make both
introverts and extroverts interesting:<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span>
</span></span></span><ol start="1" type="1"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ditch the dominant demeanor.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> We were taught to shake with a firm hand and stand
tall. But overdone nonverbal confidence makes the engagement all about you
–which counter intuitively, makes you uninteresting. Avoid the power poses. Put aside the posture of self-importance or status and display approachable body language. </span></span></span> <br /></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Make the encounter about them.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Practice the art of getting them to talk about
themselves. Use your curiosity, politeness, and social graces<i>.</i> Ask how they did it, or what they
learned about it, or what advice they would share. When you respect another person’s opinion, you are <i>respecting
the other person.</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Be real. </span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Allow yourself to be impressed. Compliment in a
genuine manner. When you hear of an accomplishment, acknowledge it<i>, </i>inquire further and show interest<i>. </i>Engage more. People are temporarily impressed
with the <i>artificial,</i> but sincerely like the <i>authentic.</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Give more than you get. </span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Don’t underestimate the value of asking for <i>nothing</i>. People know when you are playing the networking card. The hard
charging, always-on-kind-of-person creates a desire to look for the exit
routes. If you need something, give something first. The most
interesting people focus on what they can do for you.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Make a great “last” impression. </span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Instead of ending with, “<i>nice to meet you”</i> shake hands and say, “<i>I really enjoyed
talking with you.”</i> Make eye contact with a genuine smile. Self-promotion takes very little self-awareness. Being interesting
and having a sense of presence is built on being <i>self-aware</i>,
not <i>self-absorbed.</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></li>
</ol><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Effective managers and supervisors
have this sense of presence. When having a one-on-one work on these 5
habits. Let your direct report tell you what’s going well. Find out
where they are challenged and ask them where they need your support. Help them become productive and spend
time showing interest in their progress.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Charisma and presence are vital in management and it all starts with
your habits and how you present yourself to others.</span></span></p><div class="SPZz6b"><h2 class="qrShPb kno-ecr-pt PZPZlf q8U8x hNKfZe" data-attrid="title" data-local-attribute="d3bn" data-ved="2ahUKEwil_svBksb3AhUulmoFHcOjCAMQ3B0oAXoECEYQCw"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">A great read called "The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism" by Olivia Fox Cabane will further explore these skills.<br /></span></span></span></h2></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span>
</span></span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" lang="EN" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Achieve your
full potential! </span><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Expand
your knowledge and enlighten your mind with tools to help you excel in life.
Complimentary Coaching Session at: </span><span style="font-size: medium;"><a href="http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.denisedema.com%2F&h=oAQGuBrCB&s=1" target="_blank"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="color: blue; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">http://www.denisedema.com/</span></a><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" lang="EN" style="color: red; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comUnited States37.09024 -95.712891-7.5966408491602948 -166.025391 81.7771208491603 -25.400391tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-75570127587292968982022-01-20T08:27:00.000-08:002022-01-20T08:27:11.850-08:00Learn to Get Past Being Betrayed<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgIF6xjDUTAMXHSA2cLdXmjHjXu_P4rZSVzi2654hGc4QKL9iCb14uLAn7XJMGhWbrRUsMYUZDeIOi2CtL52zvlss9ChUZbCrD9dTHiQc-8k_CeNXVnNuMcYZ_URTdZ17xeCnQj_I_QuMDDAoF0DMgBtXBqnwmDiLSEiDE6hZ9MO0id5SS7w6xKLxoFOg=s364" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="342" data-original-width="364" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgIF6xjDUTAMXHSA2cLdXmjHjXu_P4rZSVzi2654hGc4QKL9iCb14uLAn7XJMGhWbrRUsMYUZDeIOi2CtL52zvlss9ChUZbCrD9dTHiQc-8k_CeNXVnNuMcYZ_URTdZ17xeCnQj_I_QuMDDAoF0DMgBtXBqnwmDiLSEiDE6hZ9MO0id5SS7w6xKLxoFOg=s320" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: medium;"><br />After being betrayed, most of us want two things, usually at the same
time. We want to wound the person who hurt us—as deeply and as
excruciatingly—as we've been wounded, <i>and</i> we want to rise above
the situation and offer that person forgiveness. But neither of these
tactics work. Wounding words tend to boomerang and make you feel as
terrible as the person you wanted to hurt. Forgiveness, especially if
halfhearted, tends to come off as condescension. <br />
<br />
There are actions, though, that you can take to can heal yourself. Every
hurt has its own story, and so does every healing. But we can say this:
<i>You can heal yourself when you've filled the hole left behind by a
betrayal, and you can heal the other person when you sincerely drop the
need for revenge</i>. <br />
<br />
Remember, the only betrayals that inflict damage are the ones where an
intimate bond has been torn. When you build trust with another person,
you are able to feel their emotions as keenly as you feel your own. If you have
experienced such bonding, you know that it is a kind of higher
reality—and when that bond is ripped apart, it's as if you've lost part of yourself.
Then the self blame begins so how can you get out of torment and find yourself again?
<br />
<br />
<b>1. Gain some detachment. </b>Stand back and view yourself as if you were the helper, not the victim.<br /><br /><b>2. Don't indulge in emotions you cannot afford. </b>Don't act as if you’re feeling worse than you really are—or better.<br /><br /><b>3. Make a plan for emotional recovery. </b>Look
at where you hurt, feel wounded or see yourself as victimized, then set
out to heal these areas. Don't rely simply on letting time do it for
you.<br /><br /><b>4. Feel the hole inside and grieve over it</b>—but promise yourself that you will fill it.<br /><br /><b>5. Seek a confidant</b> who has survived the same betrayal and has come out on the other side.<br /><br /><b>6. Work toward a tomorrow that will be better than yesterday. </b>Don't fixate on the past or what might have been.<br /><br /><b>7. Counter self-pity by being of service to someone else.</b> Counter regret by seeking out activities that build your self-esteem.<br /><br />It
requires a good deal of objectivity to set about following such a
program. Nothing is easier, of course, than doing the opposite, for
example:<br /><br /><b>1. Dwelling obsessively on how you were wronged. </b>Feeling exultant in our self-righteous pain.<br /><br /><b>2. Turning your pain into an ongoing drama.</b><br /><br /><b>3. Acting erratic and scattered,</b> with no plan for getting better.<br /><br /><b>4. Mourning your loss forever. </b>Not looking honestly at the hole inside yourself because it is too painful or you feel too weak.<br /><br /><b>5. Talking to the wrong people about your woes.</b> Seeking out those who keep agreeing with you and amplifying our resentment by egging you on.
<br /><br /><b>6. Idealizing the past. </b>Obsessing over the good times that are gone.
<br /><br /><b>7. Letting self-pity and regret dominate your state of mind.</b>
<br /><br />This kind of behavior only makes a betrayal linger.<br /><br />
If you find yourself in the position of being the wronged party, sit
down with these two seven-step programs in front of you. With a pen and
paper, write down all the ways you are following the healing program and
then the ways in which you are sticking with victimization one. Be
candid and objective. It is healing in itself to write down how you are
really doing, because the key to psychological healing is
self-awareness.<br /><br />The two lists—and choices—may be in stark
contrast, but real life is blurry around the edges. One day you are on
the right track; the next day you are a train wreck. The key is to keep
being kind to yourself. You know you are being kind when you begin to
feel kind toward the one who betrayed you. I know that sounds impossible
when your pain is acute, but you can't be kind to yourself unless that
feeling of ease, acceptance, tolerance and non judgment extends beyond
your self-interest. Otherwise, kindness is simply a mask for egotism.
The idea of "I'm getting better; I hope he rots in hell" is an
unresolvable contradiction.<br /><br />In the end, when you reach that state
of being healed, you will see how fortunate you are. As horrible as
betrayal is, forgiveness belongs to those who know how to love in the
first place, and you are one of them. </span><p></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Source: Deepak Chopra </span><br /></p>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-55486185172683298092021-10-31T13:36:00.000-07:002021-10-31T13:36:03.844-07:00Practicing Humility in Leadership<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNKnZBUK6Xn83jmGA90zHAMJpQYLw4MT6l5-yyh2atPpYd3Qi7GjdDHtG3Qn5MfLzFnsgZMI6HZ3Gom9inqiifmsozI6DzHx0977SDrDkZuDP6pRbsanXVpq0iQu9YOLRzcIKBsFZUatPn/s600/Humility52jpeg.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="414" data-original-width="600" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNKnZBUK6Xn83jmGA90zHAMJpQYLw4MT6l5-yyh2atPpYd3Qi7GjdDHtG3Qn5MfLzFnsgZMI6HZ3Gom9inqiifmsozI6DzHx0977SDrDkZuDP6pRbsanXVpq0iQu9YOLRzcIKBsFZUatPn/s320/Humility52jpeg.jpeg" width="320" /></a></span></div><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;"><br />"Humility is about being content to let others
discover the layers of our talents, without having to boast about them."</span><p></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">Words have enormous power. They can make us erupt into
laughter or bring tears to our eyes. They can influence, inspire, manipulate
and shock. They can build and destroy.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">Some words have different effects on different people.
One such word is humility. It is one of those words that are seldom in neutral
gear. Some love the word and all it stands for. Some almost fear it
and interpret it synonymous with lack of self-confidence or timidity.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">The
dictionary defines humility as modesty, lacking pretense, not believing
that you are superior to others. An ancillary definition
includes: "Having a lowly opinion of oneself, meekness". The word
"humility" in the context of leadership Jim
Collins mentioned it in his seminal work Good to Great: Why Some
Companies Make
the Leap... and Others Don't. In this book, Collins examined companies
that
went from good to great by sustaining 15-year cumulative stock returns
at or
below the general stock market, and after a transition point, cumulative
returns at least three times the market over the next 15 years.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">Among the many characteristics that distinguished these
companies from others is that they all had a Level 5
leader.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">Level 5 leaders direct their ego away from themselves
to the larger goal of leading their company to greatness. These leaders are a
complex, paradoxical mix of intense professional will and extreme personal
humility. They will create superb results but shun public adulation, and are
never boastful. They are described as modest. An example of such a leader who
epitomized humility is David Packard, the co-founder of Hewlett-Packard, who,
in Jim Collins' words, defined himself as a HP man first and a CEO second. He
was a man of the people, practicing management by walking around. Shunning all
manner of publicity, Packard is quoted as saying: "You shouldn't gloat
about anything you've done; you ought to keep going and find something better
to do."</span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">Another great leader is Patrick Daniel, CEO of North
American energy and pipeline company Enbridge, who espouses two leadership
attributes: determination to create results and humility, shifting the focus
away from himself and continually recognizing the contributions of others.
"I have learned through the lives of great leaders," he said,
"that greatness comes from humility and being at times,
self-effacing."</span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">Clearly these leaders, and many others like them, don't
espouse the meaning of humility as "meek". On the contrary, it is a
source of their strength. But the notion of being self-effacing is one that we
struggle with in our competitive culture, prescribing that we take every
opportunity to toot our own horn, and that we don't dare leave the house without
our dynamic elevator speech all rehearsed.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">We often confuse humility with timidity. Humility is not
clothing ourselves in an attitude of self-abasement or self-denigration.
Humility is all about maintaining our pride about who we are, about our
achievements, about our worth – but without arrogance – it is the antithesis of
hubris, that excessive, arrogant pride which often leads to the derailment of
some corporate heroes, as it does with the downfall of the tragic hero in Greek
drama. It's about a quiet confidence without the need for a meretricious
selling of our wares. It's about being content to let others discover the
layers of our talents without having to boast about them. It's a lack of
arrogance, not a lack of aggressiveness in the pursuit of achievement.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">An interesting dichotomy is that, often, the higher
people rise, the more they have accomplished, the higher the humility index.
Those who achieve the most brag the least, and the more secure they are in
themselves, the more humble they are. "True merit, like a river, the
deeper it is, the less noise it makes". (Edward Frederick Halifax). We
have all come across people like that and feel admiration for them.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">There is also an understated humility of every day people
we work with who have the ability to get the job done without drawing attention
to themselves. Witness the employee who is working at his computer into the
late hours, purely motivated by a keen sense of duty, the executive assistant
who stays after 5:30pm on a Friday night in an empty office to await a courier,
or the manager who quietly cancels an important personal event to fly out of
town to attend to the company's business. This is akin to the philanthropist
who gives an anonymous donation.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">Humility is also a meta-virtue. It crosses into an array
of principles. For example, we can safely declare that there cannot be
authenticity without humility. Why? Because, there is always a time in a
leader's journey when one will be in a situation of not having all the answers.
Admitting this and seeking others' input requires some humility.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">Another mark of a leader who practices humility is his or
her treatment of others. Such leaders treat everyone with respect regardless of
position. Years ago, I came across this reference: the sign of a gentleman is
how he treats those who can be of absolutely no use to him.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">Something interesting happens, too, when we approach
situations from a perspective of humility: it opens us up to possibilities, as
we choose open-mindedness and curiosity over protecting our point of view. We
spend more time in that wonderful space of the beginner's mind, willing to
learn from what others have to offer. We move away from pushing into allowing,
from insecure to secure, from seeking approval to seeking enlightenment. We
forget about being perfect and we enjoy being in the moment.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">Here are a few suggestions on practicing humility:</span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><ol start="1" style="margin-top: 0in;" type="1"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">There
are times when swallowing one's pride is particularly difficult and any
intentions of humility fly out the window, as we get engaged in a contest
of perfection, each side seeking to look good. If you find yourself in
such no-win situations, consider developing some strategies to ensure that
the circumstances don't lead you to lose your grace. Try this sometimes:
just stop talking and allow the other person to be in the limelight. There
is something very liberating in this strategy.</span></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">Here
are three magical words that will produce more peace of mind than a week
at an expensive retreat: "You are right."</span></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">Catch
yourself if you benignly slip into over preaching or coaching without
permission – is zeal to impose your point of view overtaking discretion?
Is your correction of others reflective of your own needs?</span></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">Seek
others' input on how you are showing up in your leadership path. Ask:
"How am I doing?" It takes humility to ask such a question. And
even more humility to consider the answer.</span></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">Encourage
the practice of humility in your company through your own example: every
time you share credit for successes with others, you reinforce the ethos
for your constituents. Consider mentoring or coaching emerging leaders on
this key attribute of leadership.</span></span></li></ol><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 115%;">There are many benefits to practicing humility, to being
in a state of non-pretence: it improves relationships across all levels, it
reduces anxiety, it encourages more openness and paradoxically, it enhances
one's self-confidence. It opens a window to a higher self. For me, it replaces
"windowsill" as the most beautiful word in the English language.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><i><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="line-height: 115%;">Content by Bruna
Martinuzzi. </span></i></span></span></p>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-68174588814157623922021-07-27T09:00:00.002-07:002021-08-02T14:26:41.180-07:00Why building rapport is so important to all professional relationships.<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5ZkRrmfNow-j1y1B17nhPGbD2FilGIMynrj0sY59rM6q-B34SZ1o5wd-2eZxXnL4jQ1Y-deOhBGQlsWIKQdw42n69e1nXkgQqyldZz2EvYmlkxJhn609_KWdhuKwO7LqP_C9lVjeTbxmt/s585/B2B_Rapport.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="585" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5ZkRrmfNow-j1y1B17nhPGbD2FilGIMynrj0sY59rM6q-B34SZ1o5wd-2eZxXnL4jQ1Y-deOhBGQlsWIKQdw42n69e1nXkgQqyldZz2EvYmlkxJhn609_KWdhuKwO7LqP_C9lVjeTbxmt/s320/B2B_Rapport.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">If you want to create superior
relationships with your clients you must learn how to: Establish Rapport;
Often confused with being liked, rapport has little to do with being liked
but everything to do with connecting with your client on a level where you
understand your client on both an intellectual and emotional level. The
dictionary defines rapport as a “harmonious mutual understanding,” a meeting
of the minds. Rapport may encourage the client to like you, but by no means
is it necessary and certainly at times, rapport is present even while being
liked is absent. </span></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span><span style="font-size: medium;">Building rapport demands you focus your attention on your
prospect or client, instead of what you want to get out of the session, what
you’re going to say next, or how you’re going to get the signature on the
contract. I’ve found that basic actions are the most effective at building
rapport. Really listening to the client, hearing what they say instead of
what I want them to say, making sure that I understand what they really mean,
responding to the question they asked instead of the question I wanted them
to ask, and answering their questions openly and honestly. In addition,
asking questions that not only allow them to fully state their wants, needs,
goals, and opinions, but that encourage them to do so. </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Building rapport is
about communication. Real skill comes in learning to verbally communicate,
learning to listen while encouraging open dialogue and discussion. Learning
to accept different points of view and learning how to give guidance and
direction in a manner that supports the client will move them in the right
direction rather than creating a chasm between yourself and your client. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Establish Trust; Trust, even more than rapport is critical for successful
long-term client relationships. The dictionary defines trust as “a firm
reliance on the integrity, ability, or character or a person or thing.”
“Trust implies depth and assurance of feeling that is often based on
inconclusive evidence.” Trust is difficult to establish and easy to lose.
Trust for most people isn’t built on words alone but on a combination of
words and actions. For most clients, trust isn’t established during a single
meeting or even over a few meetings. Trust is earned by having one’s actions
match their words. Building trust, just like building rapport, is an
activity. It doesn’t just happen, it’s created by actively doing the things
that build trust. Being honest in words and deeds, by being timely in doing
exactly what you say you’re going to do and by putting your client’s good
ahead of yours.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">If you really want to create strong, lasting relationships
with your clients that will be the foundation of your business, that will
generate strong client referrals for you, and that will produce business year
after year, invest time and effort in learning the secrets of building
rapport and trust. Don’t worry about being liked, being cute, or being their
pal. Concentrate on being their trusted advisor, the one who really
understands their wants and needs and who they know unselfishly pursues the
best possible solution for them. That’s the secret to great client relationships. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">My coaching and consulting business has been built solely on referrals for thirty years now through building rapport, establishing trust and providing result driven strategies within each engagement. I am viewed as a strategic business advisor who is truly invested in my clients long term success. When you master developing professional relationships you find that clients repeatedly seek you out instead of the other way around, and your business will continue to grow through those established relationships. Remember, "The key to longevity in business is having clients who create clients." </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Achieve your full potential and book a complimentary session today at <a href="http://www.denisedema.com">Business and Life Management Coaching</a></span></span></span></p>
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</tbody></table>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-6225911126342472452021-07-02T20:06:00.000-07:002021-07-02T20:06:18.311-07:00Are you highly sensitive or an Empath?<p><span class="author"></span></p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Are you impacted by the feelings of those around you? Do
people describe you as empathetic? Perhaps you have always had the ability to
feel the emotions and physical symptoms of others as if they were your own. If
this rings true in your life, you may be an “empath.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Only a small percentage of the population experience this
type of sensitivity, having the ability to feel and absorb the emotions
surrounding them. They likely view the world through their emotions and
intuition rather than putting too much logic behind their decision making.
While this characteristic can be a source of personal strength, it is also
important to know how to manage common challenges of being an empath.</span></span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">What is an Empath?</span></b></span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">While there is significant research behind the feeling
of empathy, there are very few studies focused primarily on empaths. What is
known is that empaths likely have hyper-responsive mirror neurons — the group
of brain cells responsible for triggering feelings like compassion — according
to research findings. This makes it possible for someone to feel especially
sensitive to electromagnetic fields generated by a person’s brain and heart and
intuit the emotions felt by those around them. If there is an excited crowd or
a group of people in mourning, the energy can be felt deep within an empath’s
body.</span></span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">For those who are more introverted empaths, they may be
more sensitive to the brain chemical responsible for feeling pleasure —
dopamine. In instances where too much stimulation occurs, an empath can feel
overwhelmed. Over time, empaths can become programmed to avoid external
stimulation or need very little of it to feel happy. Whether or not a person is
introverted, some common side effects of hyper-sensitivity can include
exhaustion, overload, depression, and anxiety. Often, when these feelings
arise, it’s helpful to have some space to retreat to at home or a favorite
outdoor spot you can recharge in.</span></span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">When overwhelmed with stressful emotions, empaths can
experience anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and fatigue and may even show
physical symptoms such as an increased heart rate and headache. This is because
they internalize the feelings and pain of others without the ability to
distinguish it from their own. To help manage these overwhelming moments, it is
important for empaths to identify their own thoughts and feelings, as much as
possible, and separating them from those of others.</span></span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Signs You Are an Empath</span></b></span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">1. You are introverted.</span></b></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> Often, empaths become overwhelmed when in large groups
of people. Rather than feeling positively impacted by those around you, you
likely choose to be more introverted and prefer one-to-one and small-group interactions.</span></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">2. You are easily impacted by images and movies.</span></b></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> Perhaps tears come quickly and easily when you watch a
movie, or you may experience the emotion behind the subject of a photograph. In
these instances, moments on screen and in print have a big effect on how you
feel.</span></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">3. You are afraid of getting lost in relationships</span></b></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">. Empaths likely have a history of getting completely
absorbed by new relationships and are fearful of not having the right kind of
boundaries in place. You might feel completely swallowed up and blur the lines
between your feelings and those of the person you are in a relationship with.</span></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">4. You absorb other people’s emotions</span></b></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">. Being in tune with what other people are experiencing,
both good and bad, is a sign you are an empath. You may feel ambient emotions
around you as if they were your own and become exhausted emotionally and even
physically.</span></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">5. You are highly intuitive</span></b></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">. Are you led by your own gut feelings about people?
Empaths often listen to their inner thoughts when it comes to judging people,
helping to spot positive relationships that help them feel their best.</span></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> </span></b></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Using Your Emotions as a Strength</span></b></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">. For the nearly 15 to 20 percent of the population who
are classified as “highly sensitive,” they feel more deeply and intensely than those
around them. Their brains are processing information and reflecting on it in a
powerful, nuanced way. While this behavior can be seen as being too sensitive,
caring, or too attentive, these abilities can also be perceived as desirable —
being exceptionally perceptive, intuitive, and hyper-observant. The trick is to
find a way to manage and channel those (sometimes) uncomfortable emotions.</span></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">To guard against unpleasant or overwhelming emotions,
empaths can employee different types of strategies to make daily experiences
more palatable. Taking a methodological approach to time management, and
setting firm boundaries with people who drain your energy, becomes invaluable.
Additionally, knowing when meditation and stillness is needed can be an
important way to regroup. The key is to find ways to take care of yourself and
strategically respond to heightened feelings as they arise.</span></span></span></p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">While more research is needed when it comes to
understanding the science behind empaths and the reason why some people absorb
feelings more readily than others, there are still ways to identify whether or
not you experience empath-like tendencies. By understanding the signs and
triggers for empaths, it is easier to leverage these abilities as strengths,
while better managing any negative impacts. In any instance, it is important to
understand your emotional needs and communicate them to those around you.<span> </span></span><i><span color="windowtext">Source</span></i><b><span color="windowtext">: </span></b><span color="windowtext">Jessica DuBois-Maahs</span></span></span><span color="windowtext" style="letter-spacing: -1pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></p>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-36422619055148393092021-04-28T14:38:00.001-07:002021-04-28T14:38:36.779-07:00Time Management Tips<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRQzO0odTCXDPJujyDKyuVQPT7NsNd8vJnp-_ZJGTmd0HWOfj3GzJ5P-ph_X3TB6waH3ApH4WudVt3niNDYd3RXSlHJcDyO6JIQoh4Va8ApVGkaBp-OaurXiKxydZLpEEPBGg_PVRGBksm/s300/time-management.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRQzO0odTCXDPJujyDKyuVQPT7NsNd8vJnp-_ZJGTmd0HWOfj3GzJ5P-ph_X3TB6waH3ApH4WudVt3niNDYd3RXSlHJcDyO6JIQoh4Va8ApVGkaBp-OaurXiKxydZLpEEPBGg_PVRGBksm/s0/time-management.png" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Managing your time and using it
wisely is a journey, and not something that can be easily mastered overnight.
Implementing a plan will help you become more productive. Time management
requires a significant amount of self-discipline and commitment. If you learn
to manage your time better, you will feel more fulfilled on a daily basis. Here
are some tips to assist you with time management... </span>
<p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1. Set Goals both short-term and
long-term goals for each day, week, and year. Take the time to make a written
list of your goals, which will allow you to refer back to the list when you
need some guidance. Keep in mind that it is okay to adjust the goals as your personal
and business needs change. Use them as a tool to guide you. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2. Give yourself Mini-Rewards. All
work and no play is a difficult concept to sustain for very long. Build rewards
into your schedule. If there is a task you really dislike, follow it with a
task that you greatly enjoy. Build "mini-rewards" into your schedule
to increase your productivity. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">3. Keep a running "To Do"
list and use your calendar with alerts. The To Do list should contain both
daily tasks as well as longer-term tasks. Having a To Do list will help keep
your attention on the projects that require attention, and prevent some items
from slipping through the cracks and being forgotten. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">4. Keep your expectations realistic.
No one can do everything, and with that in mind, try to set realistic
expectations of what you can hope to accomplish. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">5. Prioritize the list of things to
do. Some items might require immediate attention, while others may be necessary
but not as urgent. After prioritizing, try not to become a
"firefighter" and only react to the urgent items. Be sure to still
give proper attention to non-urgent items as well, as they are important too. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">6. Use your time wisely. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If there are blocks of time that you spend
waiting or commuting, figure out ways to use that time being productive!
Listening to podcasts, reading, writing, proof-reading, reviewing your
schedule, planning for your next activity, etc, are all things that can usually
be done remotely to fill in some of the unavoidable "dead" time in
your schedule. Try to find interesting and unusual productive things to do
during those periods of downtime. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">7. Set appropriate time limits for
tasks. When working on those tasks, monitor the time that each item is taking. If
the time dedicated was more than you anticipated, review how you went about
accomplishing that task and look for alternative time savers in the future.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">8. Organize your space, and remove
any excessive clutter. Spending time looking for something is a waste of time and
time is a precious commodity. Both your living space and your physical working
area should be organized so that you can easily locate anything you need in a
moment’s notice. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">9. Minimize distractions throughout
your day and you will accomplish more. If you find yourself consumed by all
different types of social mediums, try to set aside a specific period of time
to participate in that social community. The less you are interrupted, the more
you will be able to maximize your time. Work on minimizing interruptions and
distractions as much as possible. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">10. Reflect at the end of the day on
what you accomplished. If you were unable to account for a specific period of
time, or you found a given day to be particularly unproductive, take an
inventory and try to determine where your time management system broke down. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Keep in mind that not every day is
going to be as productive as you would hope. Unexpected things always come up,
and no matter how hard you try, your expectations just might not be realistic.
Do not become discouraged. Instead, simply stay focused and make an effort to
increase your productivity the next day. Each day brings a renewed sense of
energy with new opportunities to accomplish your goals.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Get the tools you need to excel in your life. Work with a
Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years’ experience empowering
individuals, executives and business owners to attain self-defined success in
their professional & personal lives. Book a complimentary session at <a href="http://www.denisedema.com">http://www.denisedema.com</a> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to get started in reaching your goals today!
On-site, phone and e-mail coaching available.</span></p>
Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-89384138365474756942021-04-21T17:19:00.000-07:002021-04-21T17:19:53.214-07:00What you focus on expands.<p> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<p>Your life becomes what you focus on. Your thought patterns create the
texture of your everyday life. You are always focusing on something. The
experiences you create in this very moment, and the next, are based on where
your focus lies.</p>
<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFywbJ4sxbCmgUw7qpRlmcyywL3l6QXxWRNn14y9oVW-wkQrEZJAQajjlhZbKNdDiAWSHl33mbx2-Rj_i8eG5QeoyQFgM3LkTUBErOiQLM39k3X27tjIoztv5oQfz-mapj7sxznLo2NPWs/s698/focus33.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="698" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFywbJ4sxbCmgUw7qpRlmcyywL3l6QXxWRNn14y9oVW-wkQrEZJAQajjlhZbKNdDiAWSHl33mbx2-Rj_i8eG5QeoyQFgM3LkTUBErOiQLM39k3X27tjIoztv5oQfz-mapj7sxznLo2NPWs/s320/focus33.jpg" /></a></div><br />What you see depends on what you look for. What you hear depends on what you
listen for and what you feel depends on the experiences you seek. Your
expectations, based on what you focus on, blossom into self-fulfilling
prophecies.</div><p></p>
<p>The results you create are a result of your focus. If you're not getting the
results you are looking for, it is time to re-examine what you focus on. If you
keep focusing on the same things and keep doing what you’ve always done, sure
enough, you’ll keep getting the same results.</p>
<p>Your mind cannot tell the difference between something you think about or
focus on that you do want, and the stuff you think about that you don’t want.
Your mind is a very effective goal seeking mechanism and seeks to create
precisely what you focus on. The key is to direct your focus on the goals and
experiences that you do want in your life.</p>
<p>Think of your focus as a sticky boomerang. What you focus on comes back to
you, with more strength that it has gathered along the way. If you send out anger,
fear, negativity or jealousy, you will invite the same thoughts manifold.</p>
<p>What you focus on expands.</p>
<p>Focus on what is going well in your life right now and what is good for you
moving forward. Focus on your innate talents and capabilities. Focus on what
you believe is possible and you will see opportunities rather than constraints.<br /> </p><p><a href="http://www.denisedema.com">www.denisedema.com</a></p>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-6482245460479997892021-02-14T13:30:00.000-08:002021-02-14T13:30:33.384-08:00Learn Effective Communication Skills Professionally and Personally<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheLKMxWx1z_SWqH2lCl64WtgR2lo-56wuETHfLaYaI7LUjNTdczGJKePtf9j3VOkQvO3NuKymGJvJeDm6KBQ5TvYhj9PexnDJS_wqQ6aNHAtkTUWhcNQnwpd7zjqb5PC2G6PqaLDoehNdD/s407/communication567.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="351" data-original-width="407" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheLKMxWx1z_SWqH2lCl64WtgR2lo-56wuETHfLaYaI7LUjNTdczGJKePtf9j3VOkQvO3NuKymGJvJeDm6KBQ5TvYhj9PexnDJS_wqQ6aNHAtkTUWhcNQnwpd7zjqb5PC2G6PqaLDoehNdD/w200-h173/communication567.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />It sounds so simple: say what you
mean. But all too often, what we try to communicate gets lost in translation
despite our best intentions. We say one thing, the other person hears something
else, and misunderstandings, frustration, and conflicts ensue.</span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Fortunately, you can learn how to
communicate more clearly and effectively. Whether you’re trying to improve
communication with your spouse, kids, boss, or coworkers, you can improve the
communication skills that enable you to effectively connect with others, build
trust and respect, and feel heard and understood. <a name="what"></a><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 2;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What
is effective communication?<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Communication is about more than
just exchanging information. It's about understanding the emotion and
intentions behind the information. Effective communication is also a two-way
street. It’s not only how you convey a message so that it is received and
understood by someone in exactly the way you intended, it’s also how you listen
to gain the full meaning of what’s being said and to make the other person feel
heard and understood.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">More than just the words you use,
effective communication combines a set of skills including nonverbal
communication, engaged listening, managing stress in the moment, the ability to
communicate assertively, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own
emotions and those of the person you’re communicating with.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Effective communication is the glue
that helps you deepen your connections to others and improve teamwork, decision
making, and problem-solving. It enables you to communicate even negative or
difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">While effective communication is a
learned skill, it is more effective when it’s spontaneous rather than
formulaic. A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a
speech that’s delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course,
it takes time and effort to develop these skills and become an effective
communicator. The more effort and practice you put in, the more instinctive and
spontaneous your communication skills will become.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 3;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Barriers
to effective interpersonal communication<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Stress and out-of-control emotion. </span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When you’re stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. Take a
moment to calm down before continuing a conversation. <o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lack of focus. </span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You can’t communicate effectively when you’re multitasking.<b> </b>If you’re planning what you’re going to say next, daydreaming, checking text messages, or thinking about something else, you’re almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the conversation. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment experience. <o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Inconsistent body language. </span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no. <o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Negative body language. </span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If you disagree with or dislike what’s being said, you may use negative body language<b> </b>to rebuff the other person’s message, such as crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact, or tapping your feet. You don’t have to agree, or even like what’s being said, but to communicate effectively without making the other person defensive it’s important to avoid sending negative signals. <o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 2;"><a name="listening"></a><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Improving communication skills #1: Become an engaged
listener<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">People often focus on what they
should say, but effective communication is less about talking and more about
listening. Listening well means not just understanding the words or the
information being communicated, but also understanding the emotions the speaker
is trying to communicate. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There’s a big difference between
engaged listening and simply hearing. When you really listen—when you’re
engaged with what’s being said—you’ll hear the subtle intonations in someone’s
voice that tell you how that person is feeling and the emotions they’re trying
to communicate. When you’re an engaged listener, not only will you better
understand the other person, you’ll also make that person feel heard and
understood, which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">By communicating in this way, you’ll
also experience a process that lowers stress and supports physical and
emotional well-being. If the person you’re talking to is calm, for example,
listening in an engaged way will help to calm you, too. Similarly, if the
person is agitated, you can help calm them by listening in an attentive way and
making the person feel understood. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 3;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How
do you become an engaged listener?<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If your goal is to fully understand
and connect with the other person, listening in an engaged way will often come
naturally. If it doesn’t, try the following tips. The more you practice them,
the more satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l8 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Focus fully on the speaker,</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> his or her body language, tone of voice, and other
nonverbal cues. Tone of voice conveys emotion, so if you’re thinking about
other things, checking text messages, or doodling, you’re almost certain
to miss the nonverbal cues and the emotional content behind the words
being spoken. And if the person talking is similarly distracted, you’ll be
able to quickly pick up on it. If you find it hard to concentrate on some
speakers, try repeating their words over in your head—it’ll reinforce
their message and help you stay focused.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l8 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Favor your right ear.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
The left side of the brain contains the primary processing centers for
both speech comprehension and emotions. Since the left side of the brain
is connected to the right side of the body, favoring your right ear can help
you better detect the emotional nuances of what someone is saying. Try
keeping your posture straight, your chin down, and tilting your right ear
towards the speaker—this will make it easier to pick up on the higher
frequencies of human speech that contain the emotional content of what’s
being said.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l8 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the
conversation to your concerns,</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
by saying something like, “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what
happened to me.” Listening is not the same as waiting for your turn to
talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s saying if you’re forming
what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your facial
expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l8 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Show your interest in what’s being said.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and make sure
your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with
small verbal comments like “yes” or ok.”<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l8 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Try to set aside judgment.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> In order to communicate effectively with someone, you
don’t have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions.
However, you do need to set aside your judgment and withhold blame and
criticism in order to fully understand a person. The most difficult
communication, when successfully executed, can lead to the most unlikely
and profound connection with someone.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l8 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Provide feedback.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
If there seems to be a disconnect, reflect what has been said by
paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is," or "Sounds like you
are saying," are great ways to reflect back. Don’t simply repeat what
the speaker has said verbatim, though—you’ll sound insincere or
unintelligent. Instead, express what the speaker’s words mean to you. Ask
questions to clarify certain points: "What do you mean when you
say," or "Is this what you mean?" <o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 3;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Hear
the emotion behind the words by exercising your middle ear muscles<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">By increasing the muscle tone of the
tiny middle ear muscles (the smallest in the body), you’ll be able to detect
the higher frequencies of human speech that impart emotion and be better able
to understand what others are <i>really</i> saying. As well as by focusing
fully on what someone is saying, you can exercise these tiny muscles by
singing, playing a wind instrument, and listening to certain types of music
(high-frequency Mozart violin concertos and symphonies, for example, rather
than low-frequency rock or rap music).<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 2;"><a name="nonverbal"></a><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Improving communication skills #2: Pay attention to
nonverbal signals<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When we communicate things that we
care about, we do so mainly using nonverbal signals. Nonverbal communication, or
body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and gestures, eye
contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and
breathing. The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells
them more about how you’re feeling than words alone ever can.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Developing the ability to understand
and use nonverbal communication can help you connect with others, express what
you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better
relationships at home and work.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You can enhance effective communication by using open
body language—arms uncrossed, standing with an open stance or sitting on
the edge of your seat, and maintaining eye contact with the person you’re
talking to.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You can also use body language to emphasize or enhance
your verbal message—patting a friend on the back while complimenting him
on his success, for example, or pounding your fists to underline your
message.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 3;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Tips
for improving how you read nonverbal communication<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Be aware of individual differences.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> People from different countries and cultures tend
to use different nonverbal communication gestures, so it’s important to
take age, culture, religion, gender, and emotional state into account when
reading body language signals. An American teen, a grieving widow, and an
Asian businessman, for example, are likely to use nonverbal signals
differently.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Don’t read too much into a single gesture or
nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you receive, from eye
contact to tone of voice to body language. Anyone can slip up occasionally
and let eye contact slip, for example, or briefly cross their arms without
meaning to. Consider the signals as a whole to get a better “read” on a
person.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 3;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Tips
for improving how you deliver nonverbal communication<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l7 level1 lfo5; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is
being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body
language says something else, your listener will likely feel you’re being
dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no. <o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l7 level1 lfo5; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Adjust your nonverbal signals according to the context.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> The tone of your voice, for example, should be
different when you’re addressing a child than when you’re addressing a
group of adults. Similarly, take into account the emotional state and cultural
background of the person you’re interacting with.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l7 level1 lfo5; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Use body language to convey positive feelings</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> even when you're not actually experiencing them.
If you’re nervous about a situation—a job interview, important
presentation, or first date, for example—you can use positive body
language to signal confidence, even though you’re not feeling it. Instead
of tentatively entering a room with your head down, eyes averted, and
sliding into a chair, try standing tall with your shoulders back, smiling
and maintaining eye contact, and delivering a firm handshake. It will make
you feel more self-confident and help to put the other person at ease.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 2;"><a name="managing"></a><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Improving communication skills #3: Keep stress in check<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">To communicate effectively, you need
to be aware of and in control of your emotions. And that means learning how to
manage stress. When you’re stressed, you’re more likely to misread other
people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into
unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How many times have you felt
stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss, friends, or
coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can
quickly relieve stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such
regrets, but in many cases, you’ll also help to calm the other person as well.
It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state that you'll be able to know
whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other person’s
signals indicate it would be better to remain silent.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 3;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Staying
calm under pressure<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In situations such as a job
interview, business presentation, high-pressure meeting, or introduction to a
loved one’s family, for example, it’s important to manage your emotions, think
on your feet, and effectively communicate under pressure. These tips can help: <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l5 level1 lfo6; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Use stalling tactics </span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">to
give yourself time to think. Have a question repeated, or ask for
clarification of a statement before responding.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l5 level1 lfo6; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Pause to collect your thoughts.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Silence isn’t necessarily a bad thing—pausing can make
you seem more in control than rushing your response.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l5 level1 lfo6; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Make one point</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
and provide an example or supporting piece of information. If your
response is too long or you waffle about a number of points, you risk
losing the listener’s interest. Follow one point with an example and then
gauge the listener’s reaction to tell if you should make a second point.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l5 level1 lfo6; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Deliver your words clearly.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> In many cases, how you say something can be as
important as what you say. Speak clearly, maintain an even tone, and make eye
contact. Keep your body language relaxed and open.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l5 level1 lfo6; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Wrap up with a summary</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> and then stop. Summarize your response and then stop
talking, even if it leaves a silence in the room. You don’t have to fill
the silence by continuing to talk.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 3;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Quick
stress relief for effective communication<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When things start to get heated in
the middle of a conversation, you need something quick and immediate to bring
down the emotional intensity. By learning to quickly reduce stress in the
moment, though, you can safely face any strong emotions you’re experiencing,
regulate your feelings, and behave appropriately. When you know how to maintain
a relaxed, energized state of awareness—even when something upsetting
happens—you can remain emotionally available and engaged.<br />
To deal with stress during communication:<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l6 level1 lfo7; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Recognize when you’re becoming stressed.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Your body will let you know if you’re stressed as
you communicate. Are your muscles or your stomach tight and/or sore? Are
your hands clenched? Is your breath shallow? Are you "forgetting"
to breathe?<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l6 level1 lfo7; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Take a moment to calm down</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> before deciding to continue a conversation or
postpone it.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l6 level1 lfo7; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Bring your senses to the rescue</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> and quickly manage stress by taking a few deep
breaths, clenching and relaxing muscles, or recalling a soothing,
sensory-rich image, for example. The best way to rapidly and reliably
relieve stress is through the senses: sight, sound, touch, taste, and
smell. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need
to find things that are soothing to you.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l6 level1 lfo7; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Look for humor in the situation.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> When used appropriately, humor is a great way to
relieve stress when communicating. When you or those around you start
taking things too seriously, find a way to lighten the mood by sharing a
joke or amusing story.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l6 level1 lfo7; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Be willing to compromise.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you’ll
be able to find a happy middle ground that reduces the stress levels for
everyone concerned. If you realize that the other person cares much more
about something than you do, compromise may be easier for you and a good
investment in the future of the relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l6 level1 lfo7; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Agree to disagree,</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> if
necessary, and take time away from the situation so everyone can calm down.
Take a quick break and move away from the situation. Go for a stroll
outside if possible, or spend a few minutes meditating. Physical movement
or finding a quiet place to regain your balance can quickly reduce stress.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 2;"><a name="assert"></a><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Improving communication skills #4: Assert yourself<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Direct, assertive expression makes
for clear communication and can help boost self-esteem and decision-making.
Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open
and honest way, while standing up for yourself and respecting others. It does
NOT mean being hostile, aggressive, or demanding. Effective communication is
always about understanding the other person, not about winning an argument or
forcing your opinions on others.<br />
To improve assertiveness:<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo8; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Value yourself and your opinions.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> They are as important as anyone else’s.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo8; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Know your needs and wants.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Learn to express them without infringing on the rights
of others.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo8; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Express negative thoughts</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> in a positive way. It’s OK to share your thoughts but not in a complaining way and always be respectful as well.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo8; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Receive feedback positively.</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Accept compliments graciously, learn from your
mistakes, ask for help when needed.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo8; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Learn to say “no.”</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
Know your limits and don’t let others take advantage of you. Look for
alternatives so everyone feels good about the outcome.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 3;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Developing
assertive communication techniques<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo9; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Empathetic assertion</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
conveys sensitivity to the other person. First, recognize the other
person's situation or feelings, then state your needs or opinion. "I
know you've been very busy at work, but I want you to make time for us as
well."<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo9; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Escalating assertion</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
can be used when your first attempts are not successful. You become
increasingly firm as time progresses, which may include outlining
consequences if your needs are not met. For example, "If you don't
abide by the contract, I'll be forced to pursue legal action."<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo9; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Practice assertiveness</span></b><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> in lower risk situations to start with to help build
up your confidence. Or ask friends or family if you can practice
assertiveness techniques on them first.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-left: 0.5in; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Communication is the key to all relationships. Develop your skills and achieve your full
potential! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years’
experience empowering individuals, executives & business owners to attain
self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. Give yourself
a gift and book a complimentary session at </span><a href="http://www.denisedema.com/"><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN;">http://www.denisedema.com</span></a><span face=""Arial","sans-serif"" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-70700106326896529022020-11-17T12:56:00.000-08:002020-11-17T12:56:27.744-08:00Establish Credibility and Inspire Trust in Others<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV66bV_VoEbjHGPbGnIndqY3I73f9zCjJGXV0PLXiL9cK76WZeuAh4VEQ_vye-W1rDewkrEyzXFHKa2QPn_b45DA1WG2fBwwi2lZyDvEKD-rUGUmJAFCuJ9Fc2pJxpbIqwIH4u4M48GXUS/s700/trustandcredibility.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="700" height="114" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV66bV_VoEbjHGPbGnIndqY3I73f9zCjJGXV0PLXiL9cK76WZeuAh4VEQ_vye-W1rDewkrEyzXFHKa2QPn_b45DA1WG2fBwwi2lZyDvEKD-rUGUmJAFCuJ9Fc2pJxpbIqwIH4u4M48GXUS/w200-h114/trustandcredibility.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><a href="http://www.denisedema.com"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></a><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span>
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</xml><![endif]-->It’s important to ensure that you build credibility on firm
foundations. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Would you attend a training course run by someone with no
experience of his subject or would you go "above and beyond" for a
leader who didn't routinely keep her word?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Chances are, you'd answer "no" to these questions.
If you're going to invest your time, energy, and enthusiasm with someone, you
want that person to be credible and worthy of your trust.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But what is credibility? Why is it important? And, how can
you build it?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In this article, we'll answer these questions, and we'll
look at why being credible is so important for a successful career.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>What is Credibility? </b>The root of the word
"credibility" is "credo," which means "I believe"
in Latin. Put simply, credibility is the feeling of trust and respect that you
inspire in others.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">No single thing creates credibility. Rather, a combination
of things must be in place for you to establish it.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Why is Credibility Important? </b>Think about a time when
you worked under a leader who had credibility. Chances are that she energized
and excited her entire team. You knew that she would do the right things for
the right reasons, and you trusted her judgment.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Credible leaders attract enthusiastic and committed
followers, and people want to work for them. But credibility is important in
many areas, not just in leadership roles.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">For instance, sales professionals need credibility to be
successful – people don't want to buy from someone they don't trust, or from a
person who doesn't know about his product.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You also need credibility when you give presentations,
deliver training, and sell your ideas.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>How to Build Credibility. </b>No matter what your role or
position, credibility is something that you have to earn. It takes time,
patience, and consistency to build it. Follow the tips below to establish
credibility. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Build Character. </b>If credibility were a pyramid, then
your character and integrity would make up the foundation.<b> </b>To build
character, first identify the core values that you won't violate – people with
strong character stand up for what they believe in, even when it goes against
popular opinion. Spend time getting to know yourself and what you care about
most, and be willing to defend your values and choices.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Integrity is also essential for credibility. You need to be
known as someone who does the right things for the right reasons.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To preserve your integrity, think carefully about the
choices and promises that you make, and never make a promise or commitment that
you can't keep. When you make a mistake, own up to it immediately, and do
whatever it takes to correct it.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You also need to be authentic. People who are authentic do
what they say; there's no mystery about their intentions, or about how those
intentions might translate to their actions. This is why it's important to know
yourself inside and out, and to demonstrate authenticity in everything that you
do.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Develop Expertise. </b>The more expertise you have and
can demonstrate, the greater your credibility.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To build expertise, choose a single area that is
fundamentally important to your role, organization, or industry. This will help
you focus your efforts and ensure that you don't become overwhelmed. For
example, if you're in engineering, you could develop an expert knowledge of the
materials that your products use, and you could then build out from this.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Also, make sure that you stay up-to-date on your industry.
When you're informed about industry trends and developments, people will trust
your judgment.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">While your reputation for expertise is important, it's just
as important to protect it and acknowledge what you don't know. When you guess,
or operate in areas outside of your expertise without informing others, you run
the risk of giving out false information, making bad decisions, and being shown
to be wrong. This can undermine your reputation for expertise, and damage your
credibility.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Tip: </b>Be careful in how you communicate your
expertise; you don't want others to see you as arrogant or as a know-it-all.
Stay humble about your accomplishments, and develop your emotional
intelligence, so that you can communicate in a sensitive way.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Be Transparent. </b>People trust what they can see. When
you're open and honest, others don't have to guess what your motivations or
intentions are.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Keep this in mind when you interact with your clients, team,
or suppliers. You inspire trust when you talk openly about your intentions,
values, and goals.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Also, keep the lines of communication open, especially when
you have bad news to share.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Self-disclosure, when you reveal information about yourself
to others, is an important part of transparency. For instance, one study found
that college professors who shared personal information were perceived as more
credible than those who didn't. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Communicate Clearly. </b>Your communication skills play
an important role in your credibility. For example, people who listen
attentively and make thoughtful, informed comments are often seen as more
credible than those who don't listen well, or those who speak thoughtlessly.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Start by strengthening your active listening skills. When
people are speaking, give them your full attention, and ask questions to
clarify anything that you don't understand.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When communicating with others, speak clearly and
confidently. Don't use industry jargon to make yourself sound more
knowledgeable – instead, focus on eliminating barriers to communication, so
that your listeners clearly understand your message. Also, don't exaggerate
facts or stories; stick to the truth.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Be Professional. </b>Have you ever worked with bosses,
clients, or colleagues who were unprofessional? Perhaps they did a poor job
controlling their emotions under stress. They might have disrespected others,
failed to "do the detail," or made little effort with their
appearance.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Professionalism is an important element in credibility
because it shows others that you truly care about your relationships and your
work.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To exhibit professionalism, control your emotions at work.
Don't lash out at others when you're tired, stressed, or frustrated. When
you're in an argument or negotiation, don't take others' comments or opinions
personally. Do your best to remain objective, and keep emotion out of the
discussion.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Come to work well-dressed. It might seem like a small
matter, but how you present yourself says a lot about who you are and how you
feel about yourself. When you dress in a professional and appropriate manner,
you'll likely find that your self-confidence and self-respect get a boost as
well.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Also, meet the deadlines that you've been set, always
deliver high-quality work, and don't make excuses when you haven't performed
well.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 411.0pt;"><b>Key Points<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You establish credibility when you inspire trust in others,
and it's important to your success, no matter what role you're in. It's
especially important if you're in a leadership role.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To build your credibility, demonstrate honesty and integrity
in everything that you do. Work on building expertise, be transparent, be
professional, and communicate clearly.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Source: MindTools</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Get on the right path to achieve your full potential! Focus
on professional development to improve your life. Book a free strategy session
at <a href="http://www.denisedema.com">http://www.denisedema.com</a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></p>
<p> </p>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comUnited States37.09024 -95.712891-10.451183767337064 -166.02539099999996 84.631663767337074 -25.400391000000027tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-73392343274129593782020-08-05T09:29:00.001-07:002020-08-05T09:29:57.250-07:00How To Control Your Anger<h1>
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One in three people say that they have a close friend or family member who has anger problems. The Mental Health Foundation, suggests that
many of us will encounter work situations where emotions run high, and
can spill over into anger.<br />
<br />
Not all feelings of anger are negative, for example, if you
get animated on behalf of a colleague who's been given an unnecessarily
hard time by others in the workplace, your response m strike a chord
and result in a positive outcome. But angry outbursts that intimidate or
undermine co-workers are always unacceptable.<br />
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In this article, we look at what anger is and why some people get
angry, while others don't.<br />
<h2>
What Is Anger?</h2>
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines anger as "a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism." Psychologist T.W. Smith agrees, saying it is "an unpleasant emotion ranging in intensity from irritation or annoyance to fury or rage." But what makes people angry is different for everyone. Things that
spark ire in some people don't bother others at all. Yet we all
regularly experience events that <b>could</b> make us angry. They include:<br />
<ul>
<li>Frustration and powerlessness.</li>
<li>Hurt.</li>
<li>Harassment and bullying from stress</li>
<li>Threats to the people, things, or ideas that we hold dear.</li>
</ul>
<ul></ul>
<h2>
Recognizing Anger</h2>
Anger and aggression are not the same thing. Anger is an emotion,
while aggression is a behavior. Not everyone who feels angry is
aggressive, and vice versa. Sometimes people are aggressive because they
feel afraid or threatened. Not everyone who's angry yells or seeks confrontation. Some people
let their anger out by ignoring people or by sulking, or through
sarcasm. People who behave this way are called passive-aggressive, and they can be as difficult to deal with as those who scream and shout. Other people react entirely passively to anger. They show no outward
signs of anger, no matter how furious they are. But these people may be
doing themselves more damage by suppressing their emotions than those who show their anger.<br />
<h2>
The Dangers of Anger</h2>
An appropriate level of anger can spur us to take proper actions, solve problems, and handle situations constructively. However, uncontrolled anger can have many negative consequences,
especially in the workplace. It can cloud our ability to make good
decisions and find creative solutions to problems. It can affect
relationships with co-workers. And it can destroy trust between team members.<br />
<br />
Effective team working is based on sharing ideas in a supportive environment. If people think
the team leader is going to fly into a rage as soon as they suggest
something, they'll stop contributing, and the team will stop functioning at its best.<br />
<br />
Unexpressed anger can be as harmful as outward rage. The angry person
who doesn't express his or her anger may bear grudges or see himself as
a victim. His colleagues may not realize that there's a problem, so they may be less likely to be able to help him.<br />
<br />
Frequent anger, whether expressed or not, poses health risks, too. One study found that people who get angry regularly are more likely to suffer from heart disease. Research has also highlighted a link between anger and premature death. Further studies have discovered that anger correlates to anxiety and depression. Seeking the advice of qualified health
professionals if you have concerns over persistent anger is important to get the support you need.<br />
<h2>
Controlling Anger</h2>
It's important to deal with anger in a healthy manner, so that it doesn't harm you or anyone else. First, recognize that the problem exists. Sometimes people don't
understand that their anger is an issue, either for themselves or for
others. They may blame other things: people, processes, institutions,
even inanimate objects like computers. You probably know people like this, or maybe you recognize it in yourself. You can tackle this by developing self-awareness which can help you to understand how others see you, and in turn enable you to manage your emotions better.<br />
<br />
Also, it's important to be resilient. Being able to bounce back from disappointment and frustration is much
healthier than becoming angry about it. It's also good to learn to take
control of your own situation, and to avoid believing that you're
powerless. Get used to speaking up for yourself and telling people when you think that they're wrong.<br />
<br />
Here are some more practical steps that you can take to prevent or manage anger:<br />
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<b>Learn to recognize the onset of anger.</b> When you
become angry, your heart rate rises and you breathe faster. It's the
classic fight-or-flight response. Be vigilant, so that you can begin to
deal with the source of your anger before it builds up.<br />
<b>Give yourself a time-out.</b> Try to stop yourself "leaping in" with an angry response to a situation. Count to 10 before you act.<br />
<b>Breathe slowly.</b> Regulating your breathing<br />
helps to combat the onset of anger, calms you down, and allows you to think clearly.<br />
<b>Take the longer view.</b> If your anger is recurrent,
you may need to take a more strategic approach to dealing with it.<br />
<br />
<h2>
Dealing With Someone Else's Anger</h2>
It's important to demonstrate emotional intelligence when dealing with angry people. This helps you to keep your own feelings in check, while respecting the fact that others may be struggling with theirs.<br />
<br />
Try the following six approaches for dealing with someone's anger:<br />
<b>1. Remain calm.</b> Stay cool and let the other person express her feelings. Show that you really are listening and reassure her that you want to understand what the problem is. Never
meet anger with anger. But don't allow yourself to be manipulated or
browbeaten.<br />
<b>2. Remember that you're talking to a person.</b>
Everybody behaves differently, and you need to treat an angry team
member as an individual. If you are his manager you are due some
respect, but so is he. Empathize and try to understand his point of view.<br />
<b>3. Don't just quote the rule book.</b> Quoting company
policy at someone when she's in a rage won't be effective, and it can
make a bad situation worse. It's OK to be assertive and seek a solution
once you've calmed things down, but using the rule book is not the way.<br />
<b>4. Be positive.</b> Show that you want to resolve the
negative situation to everyone's benefit. This doesn't mean that you
need to give in, just that you show you're taking his concerns seriously
and seeking resolution.<br />
<b>5. Keep it private.</b> Don't allow "a scene" to
develop. Find a meeting room or private space. This will allow you to
have a proper discussion, and demonstrates discretion and tact. Alternatively, suggest a walking meeting to help to calm things down.<br />
<b>6. Be aware of unexpressed anger.</b> It won't always be
obvious that someone is angry. Look out for signs such as someone
avoiding particular subjects or actions, going quiet in meetings, or
avoiding eye contact. You may need to draw out the problem with careful
use of questioning techniques instead.<br />
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<h4>
Key Points</h4>
Anger is an emotion we all feel, and one that many people find hard
to deal with. It can manifest itself in aggressive, confrontational
behavior, or in more passive but no less damaging ways. Start to manage your anger by recognizing it. Then, take steps to
address it by tackling the source of your anger. Use relaxation
techniques to deal with outbursts. In the longer term, try to develop
self-awareness, emotional intelligence and resilience to cope better
with angry feelings. When you're dealing with the anger of co-workers, show empathy, and
try to understand the root of their problem. Don't back down, however,
and assert yourself calmly if you feel that someone else is using anger
to try to impose their will on<b> you.</b><br />
<br />
Source: Mindtools<br />
<br />
Achieve your full potential and book a complimentary session today at <a href="http://www.denisedema.com/" target="_blank">Business and Life Management Coaching</a><b> </b></div>
Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-37449884698834278212020-05-28T11:47:00.000-07:002020-06-11T07:15:42.052-07:00Gain Coping Skills During Challenging Times<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Change is inevitable. Sometimes it can be positive – business growth
or a pay raise and other times it can be painful – losing your job or a
personal loss. Often the hardest changes to understand and adjust to are the ones
that are unexpected and out of our control – a recession, a global
pandemic, or a major disaster. Changes of this magnitude
can be difficult to come to terms with, but you'll often find that your
experience of them can be made better or worse depending on your
</span><a href="http://www.businessandlifecoach.net/2017/07/be-proactive-not-reactive.html"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.businessandlifecoach.net/2017/07/be-proactive-not-reactive.html">reaction </a>and your attitude. Lets explore the different ways in which people
tend to approach change, the reactions that you might have, and how to
best cope with it.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<h2>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">How People Cope With Change</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">People tend to cope with change in one of two ways:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Escape coping.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Control coping.</span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>Escape coping</b> is based on avoidance. You take
deliberate actions to avoid the difficulties of the change. For
instance, you might deliberately miss training for a new working
process, or show up too late to attend a meeting about an upcoming
restructure. Maybe you'll trash letters from your HR department about layoffs, or
ignore calls from a co-worker who's just got the promotion that you
wanted. Some people even take refuge in alcohol or drugs.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>Control coping</b>, on the other hand, is positive and
proactive. You refuse to behave like a "victim" of change. Instead, you
manage your feelings, get support, and do whatever you can to be part of the change</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">
In reality, most of us respond to major change with a mixture of
escape and control coping. But control coping is generally the better
option, as it is impossible to avoid the reality of change for long
without becoming exhausted or damaging your reputation.</span><br />
<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Stages of Reacting to Change</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Change can be difficult because it can challenge how we think, how we
work, the quality of our relationships, and even our physical security
or sense of identity. We usually react to change in four stages:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Shock and disorientation.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Anger and other emotional responses.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Coming to terms with the "new normal."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Acceptance and moving forward.</span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But our progression through these stages is rarely simple or linear.
We might get stuck in one stage, or advance quickly but then regress.
And there is often no clear-cut, decisive move from one stage to
another. Shock can change to anger, for example, with no obvious break
between the two.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> Here are the four stages in more detail.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<br />
<h3>
Stage 1: Shock and Disorientation</h3>
Experiencing a sudden, big change can feel like a physical blow. For
example, a global financial crisis may result in significant losses and
redundancies. This may sweep away roles and relationships that you've
cultivated for years, leading to instability. Or, a sudden bereavement
or health issue may change your fundamental outlook on life.<br />
<br />
In the initial stage of coping, you'll likely feel confused and
uncertain. Your first priority should be to seek reliable information
and to make sense of the situation.<br />
<br />
Ask for updates from your manager and HR department, research other
people's similar experiences, and talk through your concerns with family
and friends. If available, contact another relevant support group. Be sure to distance yourself from
gossip and rumors – they are often baseless and negative, and will
likely cause you more pain and anxiety, not less.<br />
<br />
Start to objectively examine the level of threat that you're
facing. Are there potential benefits that you've overlooked? Might an
enforced change in your job role allow you to learn a valuable new
skill, or to work with new people, for example? You'll likely not reach any firm conclusions at this stage, but try to remain as positive as you can.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Stage 2: Anger and Other Emotional Responses</h3>
Initial disorientation at the prospect of change usually gives way to
a wave of strong emotions. You might be angry about a downgrade of your
role, or fearful about the impact that a layoff will have on your
family.<br />
Even if the change in your circumstances is something that you've instigated yourself, you may find yourself swinging between optimism and pessimism. This is quite natural, and it's a normal step on the way to resolving your situation.<br />
<br />
It's important to avoid suppressing your emotions, but it's equally key to manage them. So, acknowledge the way you feel, but be sure to assess what you can
express openly (such as general comments about a project's progress) and
what you should probably keep to yourself (opinions about a colleague' performance, for example). Don't be too surprised or embarrassed if you
find yourself in tears at work. This is a natural reaction to the uncertainty and confusion that often follows a sudden change. One way of coping with change is to build up your <a href="http://www.businessandlifecoach.net/2014/03/learn-how-to-become-more-resilient.html">resilience skills. </a><br />
<br />
<h3>
Stage 3: Coming to Terms With the "New Normal"</h3>
During this stage, your focus will likely start to shift away from
what you've lost and toward what's new. This process may be slow, and
you might be reluctant to acknowledge it, but it's an essential part of
coping with change. The key here is to make a commitment to move on. Start to explore more deeply what the change means. Your instinct may
be to behave resentfully and to be unwilling to cooperate, but this may
cause yourself and others harm. So, search for and emphasize the positive aspects of your developing situation. At the same time, be patient. Remember, coming to terms with change is a gradual process.<br />
<div class="grey_block">
<br />
It's vital that you avoid pretending that everything's OK if it's
not. So, if you find yourself regressing to Stage 2, give yourself time
to recover. Use affirmations to improve your <a href="http://www.businessandlifecoach.net/2016/04/how-to-become-confident.html">self-confidence, </a>and ask for help from friends or a mentor.</div>
<div class="grey_block">
</div>
<h3>
Stage 4: Acceptance and Moving Forward</h3>
This is the stage when you come to fully accept your changed circumstances. Acceptance doesn't mean giving up entirely on your former situation.
You'll have valuable memories, skills and relationships to carry
forward, but the point is that you are moving on, whether in your career
or in your wider life.
<br />
Draw up a personal mission statement and a legacy statement to stay on track. Then set yourself goals and
create an action plan to make the most of your new situation. <br />
<h4>
Summary</h4>
Change comes in many forms, but leaving behind what we know and are
used to is almost always stressful, even if we've made the change
ourselves. Coping strategies generally fall into two categories: "escape" and
"control." Most people use a mixture of both to cope with change, but
control strategies are generally a healthier way to work through change
and offer the greatest long-term benefits. People are more likely to progress through these stages successfully
if they acknowledge their feelings, explore the facts, stay positive,
draw on their support networks, and give themselves time to adapt. Source:Mindtools<br />
<br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Expand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with tools
to help you excel in life. Book your complimentary Coaching Session and get started today! <a href="http://www.denisedema.com/">http://www.denisedema.com/</a></span></div>
<br />Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-31331195214011553792020-03-23T14:44:00.000-07:002020-03-23T14:44:02.236-07:00Calm Your Mind<span style="font-size: large;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg79a_i5gN787sZXLs9l12eiLcbw0VxsCrbCT0Tp_c0tTXIqfYHE6TonVRl3dwA-8oB215xOvUEt4ybc_hfJ0WQS8dYiSVwAeXxJtYSB6f2N3AfOobuTkUz0aeqsBwZmT8OZ9AkCjiCiC3v/s1600/KEEP-CALM-AND-HAVE-PATIENCE-03-25-13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="987" data-original-width="800" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg79a_i5gN787sZXLs9l12eiLcbw0VxsCrbCT0Tp_c0tTXIqfYHE6TonVRl3dwA-8oB215xOvUEt4ybc_hfJ0WQS8dYiSVwAeXxJtYSB6f2N3AfOobuTkUz0aeqsBwZmT8OZ9AkCjiCiC3v/s200/KEEP-CALM-AND-HAVE-PATIENCE-03-25-13.jpg" width="161" /></a>At this time dealing with the Corvid-19 Pandemic, It's important to have patience and connect again with simple pleasures that bring comfort and peace. </span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. As long as this exists, and it certainly always will, then there will be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be.” —Anne Frank</span>Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-31074290499932515682020-01-13T20:59:00.000-08:002020-01-13T20:59:13.211-08:00Helping Aspiring Coaches<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQUZBdf7MjshWe_jjKQDHEouuSE3ueZDNflWNrmALGMjh3ZPSDMhlcvDQjvtM27e6zK6RzZty2AOgwwOvQgQd5oCMGJpyhlZG2zrj2CJnSaZ0ercQ0dfD1XzW-ZB0lz2B1RSYnjU4-oLPF/s1600/coaching7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQUZBdf7MjshWe_jjKQDHEouuSE3ueZDNflWNrmALGMjh3ZPSDMhlcvDQjvtM27e6zK6RzZty2AOgwwOvQgQd5oCMGJpyhlZG2zrj2CJnSaZ0ercQ0dfD1XzW-ZB0lz2B1RSYnjU4-oLPF/s400/coaching7.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I
enjoyed being interviewed by Brandon from <a href="http://www.lifecoachpath.com/">Life Coach Path</a> for a project collaboration with the National
Coach Academy to help aspiring coaches. Click the link below to see my interview posted on NCA's site. </span></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.nationalcoachacademy.com/coach-interview-series-denise-dema" target="_blank">http://www.nationalcoachacademy.com/coach-interview-series-denise-dema</a></span></span></div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-51163222804846563082019-10-06T19:34:00.002-07:002019-10-06T19:35:17.444-07:00Business and Life Management Coaching<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_OVwf6olcM4wRasUkqzZVCVqJ7g7xJxYs03nzkZxaN8MlrpdcYD-VC3BfBGdW6zDL3a7YqR6uFs6zhxqIgPt6VFws-BVIiGuDyGzwunOPMCjRY6cHpFlhfihyow3hOHg6HLa9dc1t-yM5/s1600/c9fc19f5e79fcfd044a1ef1797413031.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="251" data-original-width="321" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_OVwf6olcM4wRasUkqzZVCVqJ7g7xJxYs03nzkZxaN8MlrpdcYD-VC3BfBGdW6zDL3a7YqR6uFs6zhxqIgPt6VFws-BVIiGuDyGzwunOPMCjRY6cHpFlhfihyow3hOHg6HLa9dc1t-yM5/s400/c9fc19f5e79fcfd044a1ef1797413031.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-12030998735581627632019-07-13T14:51:00.001-07:002019-07-13T14:51:12.785-07:00Eliminate the Fear of Being Judged!
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMC-RKLlNNHMf8n0XGi6MBvbfpEGdu8K1dDEMFG0N1lfhm2yeia7Z7jJ6RPhf3n7BptYYVDv35RfgeIGPct3tcxRXgMyaFvESil-HkaF74g8iSpFyAbx63NvwCBhhPFmsmToZ2f6s5jxId/s1600/fear+of+being+judged5563.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="548" data-original-width="1024" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMC-RKLlNNHMf8n0XGi6MBvbfpEGdu8K1dDEMFG0N1lfhm2yeia7Z7jJ6RPhf3n7BptYYVDv35RfgeIGPct3tcxRXgMyaFvESil-HkaF74g8iSpFyAbx63NvwCBhhPFmsmToZ2f6s5jxId/s400/fear+of+being+judged5563.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">All of us go through events in our social life where we fear being negatively
judged by others. Perhaps you have made your own judgments throughout your life
about certain people and what you think of them. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Making
judgments about others is something the human brain likes to do. From an
evolutionary standpoint, we had to judge others as “friends” or “foes” to
protect ourselves from people who might be a threat to our tribe or community.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Those
who were disliked or viewed as a threat were eventually ostracized, punished,
or killed. So most of us have a hard-wired response to try and be liked and
accepted by others, which explains many fears and anxieties associated with our
social interactions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Despite
this tendency, we can find ways to get over the judgments people will make
about us on a daily basis. We learn to become less sensitive to them and not
let them so easily get under our skin or make us upset. This article will cover
these different aspects of how to let go of people always judging us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
Accept that everyone has an opinion</span></b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
first step is recognizing that everyone is going to have an opinion about you,
for better or worse.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We
often think of “judging” as a negative thing, but when someone tells you they
like you, or that you’re smart, or a cool person, that’s a type of judging too
– it just happens to be a very positive one.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Throughout
your life you’re going to meet many different people, and some of those people
you’re going to “click” with better than others. You can’t expect to win over
everyone, so be willing to accept that some people won’t like you, and some
people will. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Anyone
who puts themselves out there and let’s their true personality shine through is
going to have their fair share of critics. Once you begin to expect it, it
doesn’t become as shocking or bothersome when someone says something insulting
or cruel.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
Become less judging of others</span></b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Usually
people who fear judgments the most are the ones that are very judgmental
themselves.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If
we have an excessively judgmental attitude against people, and we’re always
trying to compare individuals as “superior” or “inferior,” then we project that
attitude onto others, believing that they too are always judging us as
“superior” or “inferior.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Try
to be kinder and more understanding toward others, and you won’t have such a
hostile and cynical view of the world. You can find the good in anyone if
you’re willing to see it – and once you cultivate this attitude, you’ll be more
likely to expect others to reciprocate this attitude toward you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We
are all susceptible to what is known as <i>fundamental attribution error</i>.
This is when we overestimate the influence of personal factors when someone does
something “stupid” or “bad,” and we underestimate the influence of situational
factors. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Remember,
everyone is capable of making bad decisions in the wrong situation, and even
you yourself aren’t always perfect. This will allow you to be gentler in your
judgments toward both yourself and others.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
Move past bad first impressions</span></b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">First
impressions can have a strong influence over how people view us, but they
aren’t set in stone.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If
you did something wrong the first time you met someone (insulted, mocked, or
offended them), then it may be appropriate to apologize before you can move on.
However, most of the time we can move past these first impressions simply by
making better second, third, and fourth impressions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
more time someone spends with you the more they get to know the real you. No
one can tell everything about you when they first meet you, it takes multiple
interactions to really learn about someone.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As
people get to know you more, their first impression of you will become less
important. I have friends today who I didn’t always get off with on the right
foot, but now we look back on those experiences and just laugh. You just have
to be willing to take a longer view in your relationships.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
Avoid people who are too negative (if you can)</span></b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We
all have our limits and some people can be unbearably negative and tiresome to
be around.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If
you have a choice, sometimes the only thing you can do is to avoid the person
more. If you know they’re going to be at a party, then don’t go there. If you
work with them, try to limit interactions to just work-related talk. And if
it’s a negative friend, you may want to consider finding new people to hang out
with.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It’s
not the most pleasant solution, but it may be necessary if you can’t find
anyway to tolerate a person’s negative and overly judgmental attitude.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Achieve
Your Full Potential! Book a complimentary session at <a href="http://www.denisedema.com/">http://www.denisedema.com</a> to get the
support you need to excel in your professional and personal life.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span>
</div>
Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-30781144345869664982019-02-17T12:23:00.000-08:002019-02-17T12:23:47.570-08:00The Importance of Developing Your Emotional Intelligence<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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As a Business and Life Management Coach for over two
decades, my national coaching practice specializes in the development of human
potential and personal effectiveness for professionals and individuals. More
now than ever, organizations are focusing on their future leaders Emotional Intelligence
abilities. Executives, business owners and entrepreneurs all need to develop
their EQ beyond their IQ in order to be successful, increase productivity
and/or gain promotion within their chosen fields. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZY5-F58rGqox2-G7RXX7cGs1CtAUwzEh4FLekntMChUlplIqOPiKd-v-8NCpfURcO15PEh1A_FI350wBirhklYnp3e1sTOwvZnhuCKb4WkOeWV_ryN7k1GPZF-h_NDy6c9BJhuObmZ_FZ/s1600/emotional-intelligence5.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="367" data-original-width="371" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZY5-F58rGqox2-G7RXX7cGs1CtAUwzEh4FLekntMChUlplIqOPiKd-v-8NCpfURcO15PEh1A_FI350wBirhklYnp3e1sTOwvZnhuCKb4WkOeWV_ryN7k1GPZF-h_NDy6c9BJhuObmZ_FZ/s200/emotional-intelligence5.png" width="200" /></a>Emotional intelligence (EQ), as it is known today, came into
the spotlight when Daniel Goleman published his book “Emotional Intelligence,
Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” in 1995; however, the study of different forms
of intelligence began long before that book, with some research papers dating
back to the early 1900's. Since that time, many researchers, training and development
professionals use tools to implement EQ concepts and to build individual EQ.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Emotional intelligence is the ability to sense, understand
and effectively apply emotions to facilitate higher levels of collaboration and
productivity. </div>
<br />
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Intrapersonal Skills</b>
refer to the ability to understand oneself, form an accurate concept of the
self and apply that concept to operate more effectively. There are three
pillars that make up the intrapersonal side of EQ: </div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><b>Self-Awareness </b>is the ability to recognize
and understand your own moods, emotions and drives as well as their effects on
others. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><b>Self-Regulation </b>is the ability to control
or redirect disruptive impulses and moods. This includes the propensity to
suspend judgment and to think before acting. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Motivation </b>is a passion to work for
reasons that go beyond money or status and to pursue your goals with energy and
persistence.</li>
</ul>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Interpersonal Skills</b>
refer to the ability to identify and understand how to effectively relate to,
work with and motivate others. There are two pillars that make up the
interpersonal side of EQ:</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><b>Empathy</b> is the ability to understand the
emotional makeup of other people and the skill to treat people according to
their emotional reactions. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><b>Social Skills</b> is the proficiency in
managing relationships, building networks and the ability to find common ground
to build rapport.</li>
</ul>
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Emotions are carried down an organization’s hierarchy,
basically affecting everyone. If you want to positively affect or even change
an organization’s culture, it’s vital to start developing the EQ of its
leaders. Enable them to be more self-aware and empower them to manage the
emotions of others.</div>
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Working with individuals that are primarily business-focused,
I offer coaching and consulting designed for leaders, managers and executives
striving for promotion. Mentoring is geared towards people who set the tone for
interpersonal interaction within the organization or within a team. Training
develops communication effectiveness, conflict resolution, sales effectiveness
and relationships to name a few topics. It is often paired with Behavioral
Modification techniques that add the behavioral component to emotional
intelligence development.</div>
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To learn more about how you can improve your professional
career and skills through developing your EQ, book a complimentary session at <a href="http://www.denisedema.com/">www.denisedema.com</a>.</div>
Denise Dema Business and Life Coachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00591732202696072223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3299957797765009717.post-75032556599510375532018-10-30T13:02:00.002-07:002018-11-14T15:27:31.960-08:00Business and Personal Coaching <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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