Who am I? To answer this, we must first learn to become more aware of ourselves. To be aware, we need to step outside ourselves and objectively watch ourselves in action. We live most of our lives by habit. These habits keep us stuck in self-limiting patterns. Once we identify these unconscious patterns, we then have the choice to change them. To start building the awareness habit, stop and pay attention to your actions. Set an intention to become aware of how you automatically "react" to the events in your life. How do you react to traffic, colleagues at work, family situations, your partner or children? How do you react to anger or fear in someone else? Become a witness to your own life. Pay attention to how you react to things and how it affects all of your relationships. Become aware of how your thinking creates your reality.
Learn to experience the emotions that are underlying each of your reactions. These are the beginning stages of listening to your internal dialogue.
Awareness reveals to us a whole new fascinating world. Personal growth, to a large extent, depends on self awareness. You can only change what you recognize. Self awareness is not a simple process. It requires that we consistently step outside our "automatic" or "pre-programmed" selves and take a good look at ourselves objectively. The following qualities of character need to be present and developed in order to enhance our ability to become more self aware;
Honesty takes emotional awareness, self confidence and a great deal of courage. Until a person is willing to accept the truth about themselves, they will not have a clear path to change. If we are more emotionally honest with ourselves, we will get to know our “true selves” on a deeper level. This will help us become more accepting of ourselves and eventually, of others. It will also help us to make better choices about how to spend our time and with whom to spend it with. When we are honest with others as well, it encourages them to be more honest with us. We are then more likely not to be asked or pressured to do things which we do not want to do. We will also find out quickly who respects our feelings and who does not. Being honest with your feelings, facing issues as they arise, and accepting responsibility for your actions without blaming others is what living an honorable life entails. You cannot grow as a person until you become honest with yourself and others. Observation and awareness of oneself means that we need to understand how the world "is" around us. If we are capable of seeing the factors that influence other people’s behavior, we are much more likely to see it in ourselves as well. We can make better decisions when we are fully aware of what is driving other people’s intentions. It is not just what we see, but how we interpret everything around us and our perception of others creates the circumstances in our daily life.
Gratitude for what you have is beneficial to your emotional well being. Having an attitude of gratitude each day for your blessings puts your mind in a positive state, without relying on others for your happiness. Being able to express gratitude for any situation projects a magnetic force that draws to you more of what you are expressing gratitude for. People who experience gratitude tend to be happier, more helpful and forgiving, and are aware that they automatically activate the "Law of Attraction". When gratitude becomes part of your identity, you ultimately attract circumstances that resonate with who you are.
Humility is all about maintaining our pride about who we are, about our achievements, about our worth, but without arrogance. Something interesting happens when we approach situations from a perspective of humility–it opens us up to possibilities. As we choose open mindedness and curiosity over protecting our point of view, we spend more time in that wonderful place of the child's mind, willing to learn from others. We move away from pushing into allowing, from insecure to secure, from seeking approval to seeking enlightenment. We forget about being right and enjoy being in the moment. There are many benefits to practicing humility, to being in a state of non-pretense; it improves relationships across all levels, it reduces anxiety, it encourages openness and it enhances one’s self confidence. It opens the window to the higher self.
Flexibility is the ability to adapt your lifestyle to be in harmony with your expectations. Flexible thinking moves thought patterns out of their neural ruts. When you are truly flexible, you can accept any event or surprise that life gives you. Flexibility allows people to adapt, shift and move easily. Insight is the power of seeing a situation beyond the surface. It assists us in overcoming the limitations placed upon us by living our lives "reactively", as opposed to responsively. It gives us the ability to discover why, how and where problems exist and what is needed to correct them. Insight teaches us to become aware of self-destructive belief systems and shows us how to diffuse them. We can then start taking control of our life by becoming the cause of all we experience and not the victim. Having the insight to be proactive, not reactive allows us to pursue the life we desire.
Ambition is striving for something higher than one's self and it is the motivating force of change. Not everyone has the same level of expectations for themselves. Some people thrive on becoming the next CEO, while others would rather be surfing at the beach. Even if someone had all the other factors of self-awareness, without the ambition to change, self-awareness is not easily accomplished. Imagine ambition as the master. The other principles of self awareness rely on ambition to feed them. Without ambition, there is no motivating force to observe or change one's behavior.
These are not the only factors that govern self-awareness. Certainly communication skills also play a big role. Having mentors in your life is also important in the journey of personal growth. Having a coach helps you gain the ability to see yourself as you really are in order to work on change and attainment of a better life.
Denise Dema is a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years experience empowering individuals, entrepreneurs and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. To book a complimentary session or to learn more about the author and her practice please visit http://www.denisedema.com/
“What is necessary to change is to change his awareness of himself.” Abraham H. Maslow
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