The Power of Letting Go.........

A story for reflection….. Two Buddhist Monks were on a journey and they approached a rough and raging river. On the river bank they saw a young woman who was clearly in need of help to cross to the other side of the river. The junior monk walked straight past her without giving it a thought and crossed the river. The senior monk offered to help the woman and carried her across the river. Once across they parted ways and the two monks continued on their journey. As the journey continued, the senior monk could see that the junior monk had something of concern on his mind, and asked what was wrong. The junior monk replied, "As monks we are debarred from touching a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?"  The senior monk replied, "I left the woman a long time ago when I put her down at the river bank, however, you seem to be carrying her still."
 
This story shows the importance of detachment.
The things we hold onto, bear grudges or perhaps feel angry and hurt about cloud our mind and prevent us from being the best we can be. Letting go usually involves some form of forgiveness or acceptance – whether it’s for yourself, someone else, a situation or even an unknown third party. The irony is that whatever you’re holding onto, it’s probably hurting or bothering you much more than it does anyone else. Letting go doesn’t mean we condone a situation or behavior, it’s about lightening our load. When we let go of whatever is bothering us we set ourselves free and get to reclaim that energy for ourselves. You don’t need to know how to let go, you just need to be willing. You can’t change the past, but you can learn from it and change how you feel going forwards. Remember - whatever you find it hardest to let go of is probably what you need to let go of the most.


There is tremendous power in letting go because it clears your mind and takes away distractions so you can concentrate on living in the present. Letting go of all the things that drain your mind and body allows you to gain more focus and confidence in yourself to achieve your goals. Improving your present moment improves your future as well and will bring more happiness, joy and real freedom into your life..

Below is an exercise that will help you gain some clarity of the things you need to let go off.  Just listing what you need to let go of here will raise your level of awareness and you’ll naturally begin to loosen your grip on the things that do not serve you.  So ask yourself and write down what you’re holding onto, what slows you down, what riles you up and anything that gets in the way of you being the best you can be!

  •   What do I need to let go of?    How I benefit by holding on?
Now look at this list and imagine letting go of everything on this list. How does it make you feel?

What have you learned about yourself from doing this exercise?

If you need to let go of something you’ve done, simply ask, “What do I need that will allow me to let this go?” Perhaps you need to make some kind of apology or find a meaningful way to make it up to yourself or someone else. While we can’t change the past, we can make peace in the present and learn from it. Also ask yourself, “What do I gain by holding on to this?” Perhaps by holding on to resentments, anger, hurt, you don’t need to accept your part in the situation, or perhaps it stops you from feeling how hurt you really were, maybe you get to stay in ‘the right’ or avoid dealing with someone.

By becoming aware of the things that do not serve your life now will allow you to start the process of letting go and redirecting your energy toward what empowers you and brings you joy.

Start today and get the support you need by working with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years experience empowering people to attain self defined success in their personal and professional lives. Achieve your full potential and book a complimentary session.

Keys to Success: The 17 Principles of Personal Achievement

"Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve."

Scroll One - Definiteness of Purpose
Definiteness of Purpose is the starting point of all achievement.

Don't be like a ship at sea without a rudder, powerless and direcionless.
Decide what you want, find out how to get it, and then take daily action toward achieving your goal.
You will get exactly and only what you ask and work for.
Make up your mind today to go after it! Do it now!

Successful people move on their own initiative, but they know where they are going before they start.

Scroll Two - Mastermind Alliance
The Mastermind principle consists of an alliance of two or more minds working in perfect harmony for the attainment of a common definite objective.

No two minds ever come together without a third invisible force, which may be likened to a "third mind."
When a group of individual minds are coordinated and function in harmony, the increased energy created through that alliance becomes available to every individual in the group.

No man can become a permanent success without taking others along with him.

Scroll Three - Applied Faith
Faith is a state of mind which may develop by conditioning your mind to receive Infinite Intelligence.
Applied faith is the adaptation of the power received from Infinite Intelligence to a definite major purpose.

Both poverty and riches are the offspring of thought.
When faith is added to thought, the subconscious mind instantly picksup the vibration, translates it into
its spiritual equivalent, and transmits it to Infinite Intelligence. Faith is the only agency through which the cosmic force of Infinite Intelligence can be harnessed and used.

You can do it if you believe you can.

Scroll Four - Going the Extra Mile
Render more and better service than that for which you are paid, and sooner or later you will receive
compound interest on compound interest from your investment. For it is inevitable that every seed of useful service you sow will multiply itself and come back to you in overwhelming abundance.

Put your mind to work. Access your ability and energy. Who could use your help? How can you help?
It doesn't take money... all it takes is ingenuity and a strong desire to be genuine service. Helping others to solve their problems will help you to solve your own.

The most successful people are those who serve the greates number of people.

Scroll Five - Pleasing Personality
A pleasing personality is the aggregate of all the agreeable, gratifying and likable qualities of any one individual.

Believe in yourself - first and foremost! What you believe yourself to be, you are.
The attitudes you transmit to others will tell more about yourself than the words you say or how you look.
Enthusiasm comes from within. It is a PMA characteristic. You can generate enthusiasm by your thoughts, feelings and emotions.

It is essential that you develop a Pleasing Personality -pleasing to yourself and others.

Scroll Six - Personal Initiative
Personal initiative bears the same relationship to an individual that a self-starter bears to an automobile!
It is the power that starts all action. It is the power that assures completion of anything one begins.

Personal initiative is the inner power that starts all action. It is the dynamo that spurs the faculty of your imagination into action and inspires you to finish what you start. Personal initiative is self-motivation.

Today's employer usually is yesterday's employee who found opportunity waiting for him at the end of the second mile.

Scroll Seven - Positive Mental Attitude
Your mental attitude is the medium by which you can balance your life and your relationship to people and circumstances - to attract what you desire.

We are all born equal in the sense that we all have equal access to the Great Principle: The right to control our thoughts and mental attitude. A positive Mental Attitude is the greatest of life's riches... it is through this attitude that anything worthwhile is achieved.

Keep your mind on the things you want and off the things you don't want. Remember the old proverb: "Be very careful what you set your heart on, for you will surely achieve it."

Scroll Eight - Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm is a state of mind. It inspires action and is the most contagious of all emotions.

Enthusiasm is a combination of mental and physical energy which is seldom found in an ailing body. It thrives best where sound physical health abounds. Sound health begins with the development and maintenance of health consciousness, just as economic success begins with prosperity consciousness.

To be enthusiastic - act enthusiastically!

Scroll Nine - Self-Discipline
Self-discipline, or self-control, means taking possession of your own mind.

The power of thought is the only thing over which any human being has complete unquestionable control.
We have the power of self-determination, the ability to choose what our thoughts and actions will be. If you direct your thought and control your emotions, you will ordain your destiny. Take charge of your life. You are what you think!

Direct your thoughts, control your emotions and ordain your destiny!

Scroll Ten - Accurate Thinking
Accurate thought involves two fundamentals. First, you must separate facts from mere information. Second, you must separate facts into two classes - the important and the unimportant. Only by so doing can you think clearly and accurately.

Accurate thinkers permit no one to do their thinking for them. Gather information and listen to the opinions of others, but reserve for yourself the privilege of making decisions.

Truth will be truth, regardless of a closed mind, ignorance or the refusal to believe.

Scroll Eleven - Controlled Attention
Controlled attention is the act of coordinating all the faculties of the mind and directing their combined power to a given end. It is an act which can be achieved only by the strictest sort of self-discipline.

Learn to fix your attention on a given subject, at will, for whatever length of time you choose. You will have learned the secret to power and plenty! This is concentration.

Keep your mind on the things you want and off the things you don't want!

Scroll Twelve - Teamwork
Teamwork is the willing cooperation and coordination of effort to achieve a common goal. Teamwork is sharing a part of what you have - a part that is good - with others!

Teamwork differs from the Mastermind principle in that it is based on coordination of effort without necessarily embracing the principle of Definiteness of Purpose or the principle of absolute harmony, both of which are essential to a Mastermind Alliance.

Harmonious cooperation is a priceless asset which you can acquire in proportion to your giving.

Scroll Thirteen - Adversity and Defeat
Every adversity you meet carries with it a seed of equivalent or greater benefit. Realize this statement, and believe in it. Close the door of your mind on all the failures and circumstances of your past so your mind can operate in a Positive Mental Attitude.

Every problem has a solution - only you have to find it!

If you develop an "I don't believe in defeat attitude," you will learn that there is no such thing as defeat - until you accept it as such! If you can look at problems as temporary setbacks and stepping-stones to success, you will come to believe that the only limitations you have are the ones in your own mind.

Remember: every defeat, every disappointment and every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.

Scroll Fourteen - Creative Vision
Creative vision is a quality of mind belonging only to men and women who follow the habit of going the extra mile, for it recognizes no such thing as the regularity of working hours, is not concerned with monetary compensation, and its highest aim is to do the impossible.

Creative vision is definitely and closely related to that state of mind known as faith, and it is significant that those who have demonstrated the greatest amount of creative vision are known to have been men with a great capacity for faith. This is both logical and understandable when we recognize that faith is the means of approach to Infinite Intelligence, the source of all knowledge and all facts, both great and small.

The imagination is the workshop of the soul wherein are shaped all plans for individual achievement.

Scroll Fifteen - Mainttenace of Sound Health
Follow work with play, mental effort with physical, eating with fasting, seriousness with humor, and you will be on the road to sound health and happiness.

Don't try to cure a headache. It's better to cure the thing that caused it.

Whatever you possess, material, mental or spiritual, you must use it or lose it. You are a mind with a body! Since your brain controls your body, know that sound physical health is dependent upon a Positive Mental Attitude. Establish sound, well-balanced health habits in work, play, rest, nourishment and study, and develop and maintain positive thought habits. Remember, what your mind focuses upon, your mind brings into existence.

If you think you're sick, you are.

Scroll Sixteen - Budgeting Time and Money
Effectiveness in human endeavor calls for the organized budgeting of time. For the average man the 24 hours of each day should be divided as follows: 8 hours for sleep, 8 hours for work, 8 hours for recreation an spare time.

The successful person budgets time, income and expenditures, living within his means. The failure squanders time and income with a contemptuous disregard for their value.

Tell me how you use your spare time and how you spend your money, and I will tell you where and what you will be ten years from now.

Scroll Seventeen - Cosmic Habitforce
The orderliness of the world of natural laws gives evidence that they are under the control of a universal plan.

Man is the only living creature equipped with the power of choice through which he may establish his own thought and behavior patterns. You have the power to break bad habits
and to create good ones in their place - at will.

You are where you are and what you are because of your established habits and thoughts and deeds.

Implement these principles into your life to achieve your full potential! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach that specializes in the development of human potential and personal effectiveness. Book a complimentary session today!

Honoring the Legacy of My Mother Evelyn Dema

Every year on Mother's Day, I honor my mother’s legacy by embracing the memories of the wonderful woman she was. I was lucky to have been born to someone that gave me so much as a child for she made me into the woman I am today. I was loved, spoiled, disciplined, encouraged, mentored, supported, cherished, and respected throughout my life by my beautiful mother and I will always be grateful for all she sacrificed to be able to give me the life I had growing up.

She was my best friend…..loving, funny, sarcastic, smart, bossy, giving, loud, adventurous, entertaining, and always made me feel special even when she was yelling at me….lol. My mother had a lot of friends, was active in my school and social life, enjoyed dancing, singing, playing cards, smoking, traveling in her Lincoln Continental, took me on many mini vacations, and threw lots of parties at our home. She was a lot of fun…… called me Princess…. I called her Queen….. she gave me life, she made my life and I cared for her at the end of her life. When she left this earth at 69 years old I was very sad but had a sense of relief that God took her out of the cancer-ridden body she was in and did not make her suffer long. I wanted her spirit to be free again to dance in heaven and watch over me like she has my whole life. If I could have chosen anyone in this world to be my mother I still would have chosen her. She left this earth early but only in the physical sense, her spirit and love are with me always. The day of her passing was on October 25th, 2003 and this poem was part of the service that honored the memory of Evelyn Dema, the Queen of my Heart!

When I must leave you
For a little while-
Please do not grieve
And shed wild tears
And hug your sorrow to you
Through the years,

But start out bravely
With a gallant smile;
And for my sake
And for my name
Live on and do
All things the same,

Feed not your loneliness
On empty days,
But fill each waking hour
In useful ways,

Reach out your hand
In comfort and in cheer
And I in turn will comfort you
And hold you near;

And never, never
Be afraid to die
For I am waiting for you in the sky!

Empowering Women’s Health

May is the month that we celebrate Mother's Day and it encourages us to think of all the women that have had an impact in our lives. Mothers have the innate ability to nurture, love and mentor children to live healthy and happy lives. So it is a great time to appreciate the contribution these women have made and to look at how we can improve ourselves, as well as to empower other women to live healthy lives. Each and every one of us has the ability to choose a healthy lifestyle. Let's start by taking a look at what we could be doing now that can change our daily routines and encourage other women to do the same. We can start by defining what a healthy life style is and how we can become empowered to make a difference in our lives.

Physical health is made up of many things, but includes eating right, exercising and eliminating bad habits like smoking and drinking. There are many diets, exercise and self-help books out there that teach you what to do in order to lose weight and stay physically fit and all of them have valuable information. What isn’t so prevalent in these books is the understanding that the way you think about your health and the physical habits that have formed as a result, have more to do with the life you are living now than new information anyone can give you. Ask yourself, what is the difference between waking up and eating a low calorie-high protein breakfast, exercising or stretching to release the endorphins, and then setting out to get ready for your day? Or, waking up and not eating any breakfast, not doing any form of exercise, and pretty much following your daily habits which are more comfortable? The difference is how you think about it, what you do about it, and how you process the habits that you already have.

Of course you know what to do, but do you do it, and why not? You have to start somewhere and you might need someone to help you change your physical behavior to break some habits. A neighbor, friend, family member or personal coach can motivate you to change, even if it’s starting with the basics like eating breakfast to give the body fuel instead of a cup of coffee and running out the door. One minor change can affect the rest of your day. Taking a brisk walk in the morning, riding your bicycle daily, going to the gym, joining a yoga class and being conscious that a good night’s sleep is imperative to how your body functions each day, is the beginning. Eliminating distractions like watching TV when you are in bed will determine the type of sleep you are going to have, which in return determines the day you will have to follow. It’s all is connected so being aware that this is the first step in changing what does not benefit you. Even relaxing with breathing exercises will help you on a daily basis to release the stress that is stored in your body. These are simple things that will start you on a path to allow your body to function better, but it is up to you to start. How you change your habits will depend on you. What will motivate you is different for each individual but attainable if you start with changing your mind.

Mental health is a broad term, but for most of us it is something we take for granted. If you start to become aware of your daily thought patterns, you will then understand what level of energy has to be put forward in order to attain peace and tranquility. Becoming angry everyday is the first indication that you are harboring negative feelings that often reflect how you treat others. Daily interaction with your children, co workers, family members and even strangers should not be confrontational if you are living in a peaceful state. It all gets a little challenging when someone puts negative energy in your way, for instance, when you are in traffic, or standing in a long line of people, or even when someone judges you, but you do have the choice to let it be their negative energy without internalizing it to be yours. Why isn’t it just that easy to be happy each and every day no matter what crosses your path? ...well it really is, but because you feed into what other people do and say, it becomes difficult to separate your path from theirs. Simply put, you have the ability to allow their negative energy to stay with them, and to proceed with the positive thought processes that honor and value your well-being.

The first step in gaining clarity and living a happy, peaceful life is to eliminate tolerations. Think right now about what you tolerate on a daily basis and from whom, that does not bring positive energy to your life. Just look around, a lot of people compromise their happiness, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Seeking validation from others should not be what defines you. You define you, and the right thought process and coping skills to achieve mental health can be developed with a commitment to that goal. Those skills will allow you to make better choices on a daily basis, which will lead to living a healthy lifestyle.


In general, women lead very busy lives and are faced with a variety of demands on their time. Compromises are made to their health. Let's face it, these demands call for a whole new level of effectiveness. It begins with good health and a sense of mental well-being. The need to be calm, focused, resolute, energetic, strong, patient and confident is more important than ever in juggling a home life and career. Taking time to focus on personal well-being is something we all easily overlook in our fast-paced lives but it definitely needs to be a priority. In today's culture, extended youth and health have become of crucial importance and we must put greater attention on our personal care and work toward a daily routine of health and strength. Living a healthy life is within our grasp. For many of us it sometimes means changing the way we live and think. You have the power to empower, and it all starts with you!

“The body is the servant of the mind” -James Allen

Get the tools you need to excel in your personal and professional life. Work with a Business and Life Management Coach that specializes in the development of human potential and personal effectiveness. Book a complimentary session today!