The Art of Conscious Living.....

The benefits of self-awareness lend itself into every aspect of your life. The more you are aware of yourself and others around you, the more choices are available to you that allow you to make better decisions on a daily basis. When you are consciously living, you are present in each moment and experience all that is before you.
 

It is easy to fall into habitual patterns that take you out of the moment. You often will do and see things that are already part of your internal process and lose the ability to be objective. Because life’s conditioning starts very early, your reactions and thoughts become preprogrammed and you tend to be more reactive to daily happenings than proactive toward what serves your life better.

To see things more clearly, take a moment and divide in yourself the mechanical from the conscious; see how little there is of the conscious, how seldom it works, and how strong the mechanical is - mechanical attitudes, mechanical intentions, mechanical thoughts, mechanical desires and actions.  

Change can only be addressed when you become aware and realize how programed your life really is. Continuing in this manor is either because you are not aware of choosing conscious living or because you are afraid to live consciously due to the changes that might happen in your life if you did.

Once you identify your automatic behaviors and responses that are triggered without your will, you can leave the ones intact that serve you and work on the behaviors that are unhealthy so you can break free from the auto pilot mode you have been living with for years.
 

It is important to take the first step to change your mechanical behaviors which have created your daily circumstances and learn to live consciously by making choices that better serve your life. You have the power to change and today can be the start.

Get the tools you need to excel in your life by working with Denise Dema, a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years’ experience empowering individuals, executives and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. Denise’s passion for personal development is at the core of her business and life philosophy and is committed to helping others achieve their full potential in order to live richer, more fulfilling lives. Book a complimentary session at http://www.denisedema.com  to get started in reaching your goals today! On-site, phone and e-mail coaching available.


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Learn How to Reach Your Goals

The New Year is a beginning, so new goals and resolutions, new plans, new dreams and new directions fuel your thoughts.

What is it about this annual “new” that causes us to reflect upon our lives and our accomplishments? I believe each of us has a natural inclination to grow our self-esteem and capability through new accomplishments. Most of us want to make a difference in the world. Most of us want to live life as fully as we can. Thus, we annually draw a new line in the sand and claim a starting point for our next chapter.

It’s been said that everyone has goals, whether we know it or not. We have goals to keep our current job, or to get a different one. Start a new relationship or make an existing one better. We have goals to save for the future, or to travel, take a vacation, or purchase the things we need and want to make our lives more enjoyable. An important distinction, however, is that top achievers are very intentional and focused on their goals, while many of the rest of us are not.

Successful people know that the wording, structure, timing and format of a goal can make its achievement much easier – or far more difficult. Top achievers understand the basic skills for setting and reaching their goals, every time! They know how to design goals that create success. Here are the important steps to set and achieve your goals:

Reachable goals are SPECIFIC. The brain must know exactly, precisely, what it is trying to accomplish. Never word a goal with vague terms like “some” or “a little bit”, or “more”. Be specific! If you want to lose 8 pounds and reach a weight of 175, specify those exact numbers. If you want to save $200 this month, be exact. Your brain can help you accomplish almost anything if it knows precisely what you are aiming for.

Reachable goals are SIMPLE. Many people describe their goals in complex terms of retiring on the beach in Hawaii, with nice cars and lots of money, and…. Their list goes on and on. Any ONE of those things is a great goal, but the combination becomes over whelming and the brain gets confused. If you want to retire in Hawaii, just say so! If you want to increase your sales by 10% this month, say so! Keep your goals simple, clear, and focused.

Reachable goals are SIGNIFICANT. No one can muster the enthusiasm, hard work and courage to reach a goal they don’t really care about. A reachable goal is one you really, really want! You must own your goals. It’s something that will change your life, enhance your health or wealth, and make you proud. It gets your juices flowing, gets you up in the morning, and keeps you going all day long, because it is important! Set goals that are worth achieving and that add value to your life!

Reachable goals are STRATEGIC. The best goals accomplish many great outcomes, all at one time. Running a 10K race will almost certainly: 1) feel great! 2) help you lose weight. 3) lower your cholesterol level 4) strengthen your heart 5) lower you risk of heart disease 6) increase your energy and stamina, and 7) improve your outlook. Design your goals to strategically impact as many areas of your life as possible. You’ll have more reasons to reach your goal and more excitement when you do!

Reachable goals are MEASURABLE. A goal without a measurable outcome is just a pipe-dream. You can’t achieve a pound of “happiness” or 6 inches of “self-esteem”, but you CAN get a new job. You CAN run a mile in under 7 minutes, or do 100 sit-ups. Someone has wisely observed that, “What gets measured, gets done.” Define your goals in terms of height, weight, dollars, inches, or hours. Then measure your progress until you achieve your desired outcome.

Reachable goals are RATIONAL. To reach your goal, you will need a plan, a path, and a vehicle for getting there. Your goals must make sense! When you explain them to friends and family, your goals should create excitement, draw support, and encouragement. Your goals should be just out of reach, but not out of sight! You want to stretch to be your best, not strain after impossible dreams. Set goals you CAN and WILL achieve!

Reachable goals are TANGIBLE. Choose goals that you can see, hear, smell or touch. Go for things you will enjoy and that you can clearly visualize. The brain has hard time going for “financial security”, but it can visualize a bank statement with nice, large numbers on it! Define your goals in terms that excite the senses, and then go for it with all your heart!

Reachable goals are WRITTEN. High achievers always know precisely what they want, because they’ve written it down. Often, they write a short description of their goals every single morning or affirmations as a personal reminder of their priorities and their objectives. The act of writing your goals down vastly increases your chance of success. Write it down! Then, keep your notes where you can see and read them every day.

Reachable goals are SHARED. We are far more likely to stick to our plan and reach our goals if we know our friends and family support us. Being part of a team increases our determination, our stamina, and our courage. Caution: Choose wisely who you surround yourself with. Never share your goals with anyone who may ridicule, tease or discourage you! The world is full of doubters and you have no time for them. But, find a support team, a group of cheerleaders, and a coach who will encourage you every step of the way. High achievers count on and work with other positive people and winners!

Reachable goals are CONSISTENT WITH YOUR VALUES. This is one area that people really need to do some work in in in order to make the rest of the puzzle fit. One of the biggest reasons people fail to achieve their goals is that they have conflict between their behavior and their values. However, when your values and your goals are in agreement, there is no stopping you! Clarify your values first, then set simple, specific, measurable, tangible, written goals that are consistent with those values. You will achieve them, every single time!

Get the tools you need to achieve your goals and excel in your life. Work with Denise Dema, a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years’ experience empowering individuals, executives and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. Denise’s passion for personal development is at the core of her business and life philosophy and is committed to helping others achieve their full potential in order to live richer, more fulfilling lives. Book a complimentary session at http://www.denisedema.com to get started in reaching your personal and professional goals today! On-site, phone, e-mail coaching available.

Keys to Success

Success means different things to different people. For some it means making a lot of money. For others it means being famous or having a loving relationship at home. Or it may mean doing the work you love on a schedule that meets your own needs.

Most people wait for success, thinking it will find them. Usually it doesn't. You have to make space for success to happen. Just as there are many kinds of success, there are many ways to achieve it.

Put another way, there is no one key to success; there are many keys. Here are the most important ones:

Define success: Be clear about what success means to you. Is it getting high marks on your performance? Losing weight or running a marathon? Or perhaps you want to achieve financial independence. Whatever your definition of success, it must be clear to you. You can't hope for success without knowing what you are trying to achieve!

Have a plan of action: A plan of action is concrete and takes you a step closer to achieving success. Whatever your goal, you need a plan that includes focused activities, a schedule, and ongoing support from others. Having a plan helps you get organized. It also gives you a clear sense of purpose. You know exactly what you need to do.

Set milestones: Once you've got a goal, or goals, it's important to break them down into smaller, achievable targets so you don't feel overwhelmed and can measure your progress along the way. Too often people give up too soon. Celebrating wins, no matter how small, will help you keep up momentum. Rewarding yourself gives you the motivation to continue.

Set a timeline: Squandering time is a surefire way to guarantee that you won't succeed. By setting a timeline for your accomplishments, you put yourself under pressure to perform. This increases the pace at which you approach the success you're looking for.

Enjoy yourself: This is perhaps the most crucial key to success. Often the journey is just as much fun or more so than where you finally end up. When you achieve success, you need to be able to look back and feel happy that you chose the path you did. If you look back only to see a trail of wasted opportunities and missed moments then your success has come at too high a price.

Success doesn't depend on wishing or on luck. It requires two things -- a dream and action. If you don't have both, success will always stay just outside your grasp.

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Get the tools you need to excel in your life by working with Denise Dema, a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years experience empowering individuals, executives and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. Denise’s passion for personal development is at the core of her business and life philosophy and is committed to helping others achieve their full potential in order to live richer, more fulfilling lives. Book a complimentary session at http://www.denisedema.com to get started in reaching your personal and professional goals today! On-site, phone, e-mail coaching available.

Decisions are the Building Blocks of Our Lives!

All of our decisions are the building blocks that create our lives. Every day we make many decisions that affect our social and professional life with some having better outcomes than others. Some decisions can be made at the spur of the moment, such as what to eat for breakfast while others may require weeks to evaluate and weigh the pros and cons, such as accepting a new job assignment. Either way, each and every decision will have an impact on your life and in many cases the lives of others around you.

Have you ever noticed how your moods shift when you are caught up in having to make an important decision? How you can go from perfectly balanced one minute to teetering on the edge of ‘the pit of despair’ in the next minute. Decision making is unsettling. It puts one foot in one world and the other foot in a completely different world. We become split between the two as we battle with the right decision to make.
 
How is it possible to make effective decisions that will help you to end up where you want to be? It starts with clarity....

Your decision must be in alignment with your values. If you have not clearly defined what your values are (the things that really matter to you) then you will be making decisions based on the values of others.

Your decision must be in alignment with your long and short-term goals. Many times immediate wants and needs can prevent the achievement of our more important life goals. By writing down your goals you are giving yourself a framework to get yourself where you want to be. Clarify your goals.

Your decision must be made by having the adequate information to support an intelligent choice. You can’t make a good decision if you don’t know all the facts. Consider all perspectives. Where possible seek out the opinions of people whose judgment and character you respect. Clarify the facts.

Your decision must come with a set of actions. Just as you set up step by step plans to achieve your goals. You should take into account the steps that it will take to follow through with your decision to get your end result. Clarify your actions.

Your decision must be made while considering all the consequences. Who has a stake in the decision you are about to make? How is your decision likely to affect them? Clarify your stakeholders.

You must be sure to monitor your decisions to make sure that they continue to line up with all the other decisions you make. Your decisions are the building blocks of your life. Build a solid foundation of good decisions to support future decisions. Clarify your building blocks.

Here is an exercise to measure if you are on track navigating your life with effective decision making:

• List three, of what you believe to presently be, your core values.
• Prioritize three short term goals and three long term goals.
• Reflect on your goals. Do they represent all three of your core values?

Many times we do not take the time to stop and think when under the strain of making a decision. When we are in a hurry or under pressure we tend to make decisions based on the values of others and not our own values. This can result in decisions that will not get you where you want to be and you will end up someplace else. If you never want to be lost, you will need to determine your values, match them with your goals, and build your life one effective decision at a time.

Get the tools you need to excel in your life by working with Denise Dema, a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years experience empowering individuals, executives and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. Book a complimentary session at http://www.denisedema.com to get started in reaching your goals today!

The Beauty of the Sistine Chapel

As I watch midnight mass at the Sistine Chapel in Italy on Christmas Eve, I am reminded of my trip to Rome. Seeing the Chapel again on TV and its appeal to all ages and races throughout the world has encouraged me to share some interesting information of its inception and history to date.

The Sistine Chapel is not only one of the world’s most significant sites of holy pilgrimage, but contains unparalleled historic artwork by some of Italy’s most celebrated Renaissance artists, including the unparalleled Michelangelo. A period in history when optimism and belief in classical ideas provided artists of that time with the desire and energy to realize their incredible works. Still relevant today as a venue for important religious ceremonies for The Holy Catholic Church, The Sistine Chapel is more than a historical destination. This site still inspires artistic and spiritual awe amongst its millions of visitors each year, and is in fact the very epicenter of the thriving religious community of The Vatican City.

The Apostolic Palace

The Sistine Chapel is part of a 1,000 room network known as the Apostolic Palace, or the Sacred Palace, which is the pope’s sanctioned Vatican residence. In addition to the Sistine Chapel, this massive set of buildings includes the Papal Apartments, the Vatican Library and Museums, various government offices of the Holy Catholic Church, numerous lesser chapels, and Raphael’s Rooms, which are public areas of the papal residence decorated in superb frescos by the legendary renaissance artist Raphael Sanzio.

History and Purpose

The Sistine Chapel was designed by Baccio Pontelli for Pope Sixtus IV, and was subsequently constructed by Giovannino de’ Dolci between 1475 and 1483. The finished Sistine Chapel was at first used for regular religious services, the first mass being held on August 9^th, 1483, for The Feast of the Assumption. In more recent times, however, the Chapel has been chiefly used to host The Papal Conclaves, the ceremonies and proceedings that take place to select a new Pope.

Architecture

Much like the interior decorative artwork, the architectural plans of The Sistine Chapel stemmed from biblical inspiration. The measurements of this simple rectangular brick building with its six arched windows correspond exactly with the Temple of Solomon in The Old Testament: 40.93 meters long by 13.41 meters wide by 20.70 meters high. The building is roofed by a flattened barrel vault ceiling. In the interior, the marble transenna, or screen, is divided into two parts: the larger part that includes the altar is used by the priests and clergy for religious ceremonies, and the smaller part is the area that hosts the faithful churchgoers. During significant religious ceremonies, the side walls are covered in lush tapestries designed by Raphael that represent events in the lives of St. Peter and St. Paul.

The Frescoes by Ghirlandaio, Botticelli, Perugino, and Cosimo Roselli

The walls of the chapel were commissioned to be decorated by some of Italy’s premier artists; including Botticelli, Pinturicchio, Ghirlandaio and Luca Signorelli. Based on the division of world history into three distinct eras, the first division of the walls of the Sistine Chapel were decorated to represent earth in the time prior to The Ten Commandments, the second partition represented the world between the times of Moses and Christ, and the last segment was dedicated to an artistic representation of the modern Christian era.

The Ceiling by Michelangelo

In 1508, Pope Julius II requested that Michelangelo transform the ceiling of the chapel, at the time a plain blue sky decorated with golden stars, into a piece of art featuring the twelve apostles that would correspond with the richly decorated walls of the church. Although he considered himself foremost a sculptor and was from the beginning opposed to the Pope’s commission, Michelangelo not only obeyed the Pope’s wishes but subsequently surpassed them by transforming the ceiling into an awe-inspiring canvas that featured more than three hundred biblical figures. Michelangelo undertook this challenge and painted the frescoes practically unaided on 12,000 square feet of ceiling between the years of 1508 and 1512. The three hundred biblical figures were dispersed between nine frescoed images including God’s Creation of the World, God’s Relationship with Man and Man’s Fall from Grace. This unrivaled artistic achievement is still regarded as one of the foremost examples of pictorial art.

The Last Judgment by Michelangelo

As if his artistic accomplishments on the Sistine Chapel Ceiling weren’t enough, Pope Paul III commissioned Michelangelo some twenty years later to create a mural of the Last Judgment on the altar wall of The Sistine Chapel. This latest artistic work, completed in 1541, differed greatly in style from Michelangelo’s early works, perhaps influenced by the political and religious climate of the times. His earlier work on The Chapel ceiling evoked a feeling of human triumph and aesthetic pleasure, while this newer mural attracted adversity and some criticism because of the menacing, godly wrath depicted in the mural images, as well as the unexpected prevalence of human nudity in his paintings. Despite the controversy surrounding Michelangelo’s latest creation, it is still considered to be one of the world’s greatest religious paintings.

Some interesting facts about the Sistine Chapel.

The Sistine Chapel was built by a Pope named Pope Sixtus the Vl, hence the name Sistine Chapel?

Michelangelo was only 32 years old when he began painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and completed it in only 4 years?


The Sistine Chapel was built to house the Cardinals while they deliberated on who should become the next Pope.

The famous chimney that releases black smoke telling us the Pope has died and white smoke telling us we have a new Pope is set up in the Sistine Chapel? You can see the marks where it sits towards the back right of the chapel?

No artist in history suffered as much as Michelangelo in the 4 years it took him to complete the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. He suffered with painful knees, back, neck and almost went totally blind but he still managed to live to be 89 years old.

Michelangelo painted the Last Judgement (the front wall of the Sistine Chapel) 28 years after he finished the Sistine ceiling?


Michelangelo’s enemy, Raphael, was originally asked to paint the Ceiling of the Sistine Chapel but refused. He suggested Michelangelo knowing he was a sculpture and not a painter.


The Sistine Chapel was completely cleaned between the years 1980 to 199. It was paid for by the camera company Fuji Film. Fuji Film now own all copyright to the paintings on the ceilings for 20 years, and that is why there is no photography allowed of that artwork..

Pope Julius ll (the Pope that commissioned Michelangelo to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel)sold Indulgences in order to pay Michelangelo for his work? Selling Indulgences meant that people could pay money to get time off Purgatory.

There are 3 Botticelli paintings in the Sistine Chapel, painted 24 years before Michelangelo began the Ceiling.

Share your thoughts and experiences if you like and have a wonderful holiday season.....

Places to see Beautiful Christmas Lights in South Florida

I wanted to share a list of places to see beautiful Christmas Lights in South Florida. You can catch a few in some short videos on my youtube channel too to get a preview of my two favorites; the Callahan house and the Hyatt house. Enjoy and Happy Holidays!

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The Hyatt house, 11201 NW 14th St., Plantation Acres. 165,000 lights, inflatable displays....

The Callahan house, 11480 NW 26th St. Plantation. 250,000 LED lights synchronized to music, 85 inflatable displays.

1921 SW 56th Ave., Plantation.

5330 SW 14th St., Plantation. First House in the Neighborhood Prize.

9640 NW 32nd Manor, Sunrise. More than 22,000 lights that dance to musical sequences.

The Macek house, 2700 SE Sixth St., Pompano Beach. 150,000 lights.

100 NE 57th St., Fort Lauderdale. 20,000 lights, projector that shows Christmas cartoons and movies.

950 Pina Del Rio, Fort Lauderdale.

10600 NW 32nd St., Fort Lauderdale. 38,000 lights, computerized display.

3056 NE 15th Terrace, Oakland Park. 30,000 lights set to music.

9904 W. Tree Tops Court, Davie. Thousands of lights, Santas, Frostys, trains, elves.

350 SW 32nd Terrace, Deerfield Beach. 40,000 lights.

598 NW 38th Ave., Deerfield Beach. All blue Christmas lights.

7708 NW 40th Court, Coral Springs. 20,000 lights, figurines.

9222 NW 43rd Court, Coral Springs. 40,000 lights.

673 NW 111th Way, Coral Springs. Computer-controlled lights synchronized to music.

1351 NW 63rd Ave., Margate. 10,000 lights, blow ups, 9-foot menorah, reindeer.

7706 NW 25th St., Margate. 60,000 synchronized lights and music.

6984 NW Seventh Court, Margate. Plenty of lights, inflatable figures and music.

4455 Banyan Trails Drive, Coconut Creek. 20,000 lights, 30 inflatables, 42-foot grinch.

8710 NW 46th St., Lauderhill. 12,000 lights set to music, inflatables, animated deer.

NW 113th Ave. and NW 112th Terrace, Pembroke Pines. Cinderella, Sponge Bob and Santa in a hot air balloon.

5200 Thomas St., Hollywood. A show every half hour, lights synchronized to music.

9510 Sun Pointe Drive, Boynton Beach. Realistic reindeer and sleigh on snow; after 7 p.m. get your family pictures in the sleigh for free. You'll need an e-mail address where they can be sent.

3852 Satin Leaf Court, Delray Beach, Both Christmas and Hanukkah are featured in this extravagant display.

Snug Harbor Drive, Palm Beach Gardens. An elf in Santa's workshop using a conveyor belt all made of lights.

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Participate in a Wonderful Charity for Children - Operation Santa Claus

Christmas is a very special time of year filled with laughter, joy and anticipation. Friends and family gather from near and far to share the warmth of the season. The aroma of roasting turkey fills the house, and children’s faces are aglow with wonder and delight.

However, many needy children do not have the same anticipatory glow. Many of these children exhibit a touching belief in the goodness and charity of the Christmas season that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. Their “Dear Santa” letters arrive by the thousands in every Post Office in our country.

Each year kind hearted people bring Operation Santa Claus to life by answering “Dear Santa” letters from needy children who would otherwise have no Christmas at all.

Operation Santa Claus is changing with the times and growing which means that this wonderful volunteer program may now be available at your local post office. Please note that “Dear Santa” letters will no longer sent out by mail from the New York Post Office, so if you would like to participate in this wonderful program, simply call your local post office to see if they offer “Operation Santa Claus”. Please see our “USPS Operation Santa Claus“ information page for more information on how to locate a post office in your area.

Please read the “Operation Santa Claus” articles that inspired this organization. It is our sincere and fervent hope that after reading both stories, that parents, teachers, scouting and civic organizations will band together to form a local chapter of Operation Santa Claus in each and every town in this land.

God Bless and Marry Christmas from Just Ask D!

Simple Tools to Counter the Stress of Negative Thinking

While dealing with all the challenges that are before us each day, it is easy to feel stressful. Quite often, our experience of stress comes from our perception of the situation which can send us into a downward spiral of unhappiness and negative thinking, and can cause us to be unfair or aggressive with others.

A popular definition of stress is, "a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize.”

In becoming stressed, people must make two main judgments:  First, they must feel threatened by the situation, and second, they must judge whether their capabilities and resources are sufficient to meet the threat. How stressed someone feels depends on how much damage they think the situation can do them, and how closely their resources meet the demands of the situation.

Perception is the key to this as most situations are not stressful in their own right. Rather it is our interpretation of the situation that drives the level of stress that we feel.

Sometimes we are right in what we say to ourselves. Some situations may actually be dangerous, may threaten us physically, socially or in our career. Here, emotions are part of the early warning system that alerts us to the threat from these situations. Very often, however, we are overly harsh and unjust to ourselves in a way that we would never be with friends or co-workers. This, along with other negative thinking, can cause intense stress and unhappiness and can severely undermine self-confidence.

Thought Awareness, Rational Thinking, and Positive Thinking are simple tools that help you to change this negative thinking.  They will help you manage and counter the stress of negative thinking.

Thought Awareness helps you to understand the negative thinking, unpleasant memories and misinterpretation of situations that may interfere with your performance and damage your self-confidence.

Rational Thinking is the technique that helps you to challenge these negative thoughts and either learn from them or refute them as incorrect.

Positive thinking is then used to create positive affirmations that you can use to counter negative thoughts. These affirmations neutralize negative thoughts and build your self-confidence. It is also used to find the opportunities that are almost always present to some degree in a difficult situation.

Thought Awareness

You are thinking negatively when you fear the future, put yourself down, criticize yourself for errors, doubt your abilities, or expect failure. Negative thinking damages confidence, harms performance and paralyzes mental skills.

A major problem with this is that negative thoughts tend to fit into our consciousness, do their damage and flit back out again with their significance, having barely been noticed. Since we do not challenge them, they can be completely incorrect and wrong. Yet, this does not diminish their harmful effect.

Thought Awareness is the process by which you observe your thoughts and become aware of what is going through your head.

One approach to it is to observe your stream of consciousness as you think about a stressful situation. Do not suppress any thoughts: Instead, you just let them run their course while you watch them, and write them down on paper as they occur.

Another more general approach to Thought Awareness comes with logging stress in a Stress Diary. One of the benefits of using a Stress Diary is that, for one or two weeks, you log all of the unpleasant things in your life that cause you stress. This will include negative thoughts and anxieties, and can also include difficult or unpleasant memories and situations that you perceive as negative. By logging your negative thoughts for a reasonable period of time, you can quickly see patterns in your negative thinking. When you analyze your diary at the end of the period, you should be able to see the most common and the most damaging thoughts. Tackle these as a priority.

Thought awareness is the first step in the process of managing negative thoughts, as you cannot manage thoughts that you are unaware of.

Rational Thinking

The next step in dealing with negative thinking is to challenge the negative thoughts that you identified using the Thought Awareness technique.  Look at every thought you wrote down and rationally challenge it.  Ask yourself whether the thought is reasonable: Does it stand up to fair scrutiny?

As an example, by analyzing your Stress Diary you might identify that you have frequently had the following negative thoughts:

•Feelings of inadequacy.
•Worries that your performance in your job will not be good enough.
•An anxiety that things outside your control will undermine your efforts.
•Worries about other people's reactions to your work.

Starting with these, you might challenge negative thoughts in the ways shown:

Feelings of inadequacy: Have you trained and educated yourself as well as you reasonably should to do the job? Do you have the experience and resources you need to do it? Have you planned, prepared and rehearsed appropriately? If you have done all of these, are you setting yourself unattainably high standards for doing the job?

Worries about performance: Do you have the training that a reasonable person would think is needed to do a good job? Have you planned appropriately? Do you have the information and resources you need? Have you cleared the time you need and cued up your support team appropriately? Have you prepared appropriately? If you have not, then you need to do these things quickly. If you have, then you are well positioned to give the best performance that you can.

Problems with issues outside your control: Have you conducted appropriate contingency planning? Have you thought through and managed all likely risks and contingencies appropriately? If so, you will be well prepared to handle potential problems.

Worry about other people's reactions: If you have put in good preparation, and you do the best you can, then that is all that you need to know. If you perform as well as you reasonably can, then fair people are likely to respond well. If people are not fair, then this is something outside your control.

A few things to remember:

Don't make the mistake of generalizing a single incident. OK, you made a mistake at work, but that doesn't mean you're bad at your job.

Similarly, make sure you take the long view about incidents that you're finding stressful. Just because you're finding that new system, or new responsibilities stressful now, doesn't mean that they will always be so for you in the future.

Often, the best thing to do is to rise above unfair comments. Write your rational response to each negative thought on paper.

If you find it difficult to look at your negative thoughts objectively, imagine that you are your best friend or a respected coach or mentor. Look at the list of negative thoughts and imagine the negative thoughts were written by someone you were giving objective advice to, and think how you would challenge these thoughts.

When you challenge negative thoughts rationally, you should be able to see quickly whether the thoughts are wrong or whether they have some substance to them. Where there is some substance, take appropriate action as this may be an early warning system showing where you need to direct your attention.

Positive Thinking and Opportunity Seeking

Where you have used Rational Thinking to identify incorrect negative thinking, it can often be useful to prepare rational positive thoughts and affirmations to counter them. It can also be useful to look at the situation and see if there are any useful opportunities that are offered by it.

Affirmations help you to build self-confidence. By basing your affirmations on the clear, rational assessments of facts that you made using Rational Thinking, you can use them to undo the damage that negative thinking may have done to your self-confidence. Your affirmations will be strongest if they are specific, are expressed in the present tense and have strong emotional content.

Continuing the examples above, positive affirmations for these feelings might be:

Feelings of inadequacy: "I am well trained for this. I have the experience, the tools and the resources I need. I have thought through and prepared for all possible issues. I can do a superb job."

Worries about performance: "I have researched and planned well for this, and I thoroughly understand the problem. I have the time, resources and help I need. I am well prepared to do an excellent job."

Problems issues outside your control: "We have thought through everything that might reasonably happen and have planned how we can handle all likely contingencies. Everyone is ready to help where necessary. We are very well placed to react flexibly and effectively to unusual events."

Worry about other people's reaction: "I am well-prepared and am doing the best I can. Fair people will respect this. I will rise above any unfair criticism in a mature and professional way."

If appropriate, write these affirmations down on paper so that you can use them when you need them.

As well as allowing you to structure useful affirmations, part of Positive Thinking is to look at opportunities that the situation might offer to you. In the examples above, successfully overcoming the situations causing the original negative thinking will open up opportunities. You will acquire new skills, you will be seen as someone who can handle difficult challenges, and you may open up new career opportunities.

Make sure that identifying these opportunities and focusing on them is part of your positive thinking. In the past, people have advocated positive thinking almost recklessly as if it is a solution to everything. Positive thinking should be used with common sense. First, decide rationally what goals you can realistically attain with hard work, and then use positive thinking to reinforce these.

Get the tools you need to excel in your life by working with Denise Dema, a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years experience empowering individuals, executives and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. Denise’s passion for personal development is at the core of her business and life philosophy and she is committed to helping others achieve their full potential in order to live richer, more fulfilling lives. To learn more book a complimentary session at http://www.denisedema.com to discuss your current objectives and goals. On-site, phone, e-mail coaching available.

Are You A 'Social' Business?

Looking at all the ways companies have been marketing their products and services in the past, we now know based on current statistics that a new direction and strategy is critical in capturing new clients and business. Social media has been the number one activity on the web and brands are following the crowd by going ‘social’ and joining millions of people online.

Many companies have set up Facebook pages, Twitter accounts, listed their products/services on web based directories that provide interactive customer reviews and use Google+ and LinkedIn to make professional and personal connections. Some also start blogs and create YouTube channels to share information through videos that now appeals to the masses.

Even so, many businesses are still trying to integrate social media into their old ‘marketing mix’ rather than understanding the whole purpose of social media. This traditional, one-way marketing doesn’t work anymore. Consumers are already bombarded with thousands of marketing messages on a daily basis but the majority of them are ignored. Newspaper circulations are down, television commercials are easily skipped, nearly half of all direct mail is never opened and there are over 200 million Americans on the ‘Do Not Call’ list which prevents any outbound telesales calls. Even the best banner ads are only getting about 1% click through rates now. So what else can you do to get your business out there?

Today, we are all connected and smart companies make business personal by becoming a 'social business' rather than applying the same old marketing techniques to the new medium. They realize that ‘social’ isn’t a new way of marketing, it’s a new way of doing business and they use an analytics culture to shape and adjust their strategy on the go. This is quite different from the traditional ways of brand building in the past.

Companies that get it right by becoming social see great success. Nearly two thirds of businesses have acquired a customer through their blog and a quarter of B2B firms have gained a client through Facebook. Company websites that have a blog get more visitors than those who don’t. Web visitors from social sites often have higher conversion rates than those who aren’t communicating directly with their customers.

It’s not just about going social it’s about becoming a social business. Creating the right presence, exposure with a Call To Action on the web is critical in branding your company to gain new business. It’s realizing that marketing doesn’t work like it used to and today, successful companies have to become social ones. Diversifying your web exposure and keeping your online presence filled with new and interesting content is the key. Just by having a website, blog and web profiles will not produce business unless you drive traffic to them and encourage engagement.

Living in this socially connected, real-time and mobile-enabled world, creating a compelling web based presence is critical for success. Even if you are a small company or entrepreneur with limited finances, cost effective marketing strategies can be implemented to help you achieve a social media presence.

Achieve your full potential and get the tools you need to excel in your business. Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years experience empowering individuals, entrepreneurs and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. Book a complimentary session today to discuss your goals and objectives at http://www.denisedema.com