Appreciation

Beliefs of Happy and Successful People

One thing I’ve noticed about almost every single happy and successful person is that they share a lot of the same attitudes and beliefs about life. Throughout my coaching career, I’ve worked with and examined people from all different professions and often times the ones who are the most happy and successful are also the ones who share very similar philosophies.

Here are some of the fundamental attitudes and beliefs that I believe contribute to their happiness and success:

Failure is a part of learning. This is one of the most commonly recited mantras in self-improvement – but for good reason. Individuals who see their mistakes and failures as a learning experience are much more prone to happiness and success. When we adopt the belief that “failure is a part of learning,” we become more resilient and courageous in the face of new challenges.

Instead of avoiding situations where we may embarrass ourselves or temporarily hurt our self-esteem, we embrace these challenges in life, even when we know they can be risky and painful. When we do fail, we don’t see it as the end of the world, but a point to grow from and improve upon. Here are some of my favorite quotes illustrating this concept:

“I didn’t fail a thousand times, I only found a thousand ways that don’t work.”  - Thomas Edison

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”  - Michael Jordan

“Failure is the foundation of success, and the means by which it is achieved. Success is the lurking-place of failure; but who can tell when the turning-point will come?”  - Lao Tzu

Focus on solutions, not just problems. Many people are great at finding problems and being critical about their lives; however, they do this without ever suggesting a possible solution or alternative to their situation.

They complain about this and that, but they never take an active role to actually improve these things. They focus on problems not to learn from them or fix them, but to make excuses for why their lives are miserable and unpleasant.

I believe acknowledging problems in life is important. I don’t recommend that we ignore things in our life that disturb us or make us unhappy. However, it’s also important to think of ways we can actually respond to these problems and change our circumstances.

Ruminating over problems in our life without a plan to take action is not only a waste of time, but it makes us even more sad and depressed. If you’re going to be critical about something in your life, focus on the ways you can actually make a difference.

Happy and successful people only think about problems when they are looking to improve them. They do not use them as excuses or self-deprecating banter.

“Focus 90% of your time on solutions and only 10% of your time on problems.” - Anthony D’Angelo

“I believe that if you show people the problems and you show them the solutions they will be moved to act.” - Bill Gates

“Looking back, I realize that nurturing curiosity and the instinct to seek solutions are perhaps the most important contributions education can make.” - Paul Berg

Be grateful for what you have.  Happy and successful people are incredibly grateful for their lives and everything they have: their relationships, their home, their job, their possessions, their talents, their achievements, etc.

Although successful people are often thought of as always hungry and striving – always trying to improve things, achieve their goals, and make things better – this inner drive doesn’t take away from the fact they are very happy and content with their lives.

I enjoy watching successful people give thank you speeches after achieving something really great. This is when their true colors shine through because you can tell many of them are extremely grateful for all the people and good fortune that contributed to their success.

Gratitude is an irreplaceable characteristic of true happiness and success. Even if we achieve great things in life, without gratitude we often find ourselves empty and discontent. Make sure you take the time to reflect on how lucky you are as a person (I believe everyone can find something to be grateful for).

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” - Epictetus

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” - Albert Schweitzer

“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” - Brian Tracy

See the bigger picture.  Happy and successful people have an uncanny ability to put things into perspective and see the bigger picture. They rarely get caught in the heat-of-the-moment or act impulsively. Instead they are calm, centered, and understanding that there is much more to the world then what immediately meets the eye.

If something goes wrong in their life, they don’t get too upset because they know that life goes in phases, and there will always be highs and lows. No single moment in life can ever define you because you are a dynamic individual in a dynamic world.

On the other hand, people who can’t see the bigger picture often get overwhelmed and flustered when something goes wrong. They are too narrowly focused in the moment, and not taking the time to step back and see the larger view of what’s happening.

“In order to properly understand the big picture, everyone should fear becoming mentally clouded and obsessed with one small section of truth.” - Xun Zi

“I always had a larger view. I’m interested in real life – my family, my friends. I have tried never to define myself by my success, whatever that is. My happiness is way beyond roles and awards.” - Amy Adams

“We think too small. Like the frog at the bottom of the well. He thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he surfaced, he would have an entirely different view.” - Mao Tse-Tung

Learn from other happy and successful brains.  We can learn a lot from other happy and successful individuals. By understanding what beliefs and habits contribute to their success we can model those beliefs and habits into our own lives. If you want to improve a particular area of your life, then find a couple people who already excel in that area of life. Study them. Ask them questions. Have them show you their technique and share their stories.

The more willing you are to learn from others (especially people who are more skilled or intelligent than you), the more successful you will be. Talking and listening to others is one of the best ways to get more perspective into what you want to improve in life – and how you can do it.

“People never improve unless they look to some standard or example higher and better than themselves.” - Tyron Edwards

“The best teachers of humanity are the lives of great men.” - Charles H. Fowler

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” - Mark Twain

Achieve your full potential and get the tools you need to excel in your life. Work with a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years’ experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. Book a complimentary session at http://www.denisedema.com to get started in reaching your goals today! Phone, on-site and e-mail coaching available.

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You Can....

Ready To Clean Up Your Life?

The Clean Sweep Program is a checklist of 100 items which when completed creates complete personal freedom. These 100 items are grouped in 4 areas of life with 25 in each group: Physical Environment, Well-being, Money and Relationships and are the cornerstone for a strong and healthy life. The program helps a person clean up, restore and polish virtually every aspect of his/her life. The program will take some time to complete as you work on the balance needed to live a happy, productive life. You can print this page out or work online as you continue to update your results.

Objective
The participant's goal is to get a score of 100 out of 100. The objective of the program is for the participant to get complete on about 100 possible incompletions in their life. Incompletions are those physical, emotional or mental items, which are in some way not resolved in the current moment. Incompletions of any kind drain energy. That is, they require energy to live with, given it takes work to keep us whole when there is something in the space. To have full integrity to be able to achieve your full potential is the object and the program guides you to get there in a natural way.

Promise
The Clean Sweep Program promises three things will happen as you increase your scores:

1. You will have more energy and vitality. There is nothing like a clean space, full communication and self-responsibility to give you more energy.
2. You will increase your scores just by being in the program. Once you go over the list of the 100 items, you'll find yourself handling some of these without even trying. Others take more work, but you will complete your way toward the score of 100.
3. You will gain perspective on who you are, where you are and where you are going. When incompletions are handled, one can see what is and has been around them, including one's self. You will see situations as they really are, you'll discern what is going on with you and around you and you'll react less and choose to be more proactive in your daily life. This higher perspective is essential in the process of designing one's life and it starts with the Clean Sweep Program.

Instructions
There are 4 steps to completing the Clean Sweep™ Program.

1. Answer each question. If true, check the box. Be rigorous; be a hard grader. If the statement is sometimes or usually true please DO NOT check the box until the statement is virtually always true for you. (No "credit" until it is really true!) If the statement does not apply to you, check the box. If the statement will never be true for you, check the box. (You get "credit" for it because it does not apply or will never happen.) And, you may change any statement to fit your situation better.
2. The number of True boxes for each of the 4 sections will be totaled automatically for you as you complete each of the 4 sections. Write down these totals on a separate sheet of paper and then add them up. You know where your baseline or starting point lies.
3. Keep playing until all boxes are filled in. You can do it! This process may take 30 or 360 days, but you can achieve a Clean Sweep! Use your coach Denise Dema to assist you. And check back once a year for maintenance.

Physical Environment My personal files, papers, and receipts are neatly filed away. My car is in excellent condition. (Doesn't need mechanical work, repairs, cleaning or replacing) My home is clean and tidy. (Vacuumed, wardrobes and drawers organized, desks and tables clear, furniture in good repair; windows clean). My appliances, machinery and equipment work well. (Fridge, toaster, lawn mower, water heater, etc.). My clothes are all ironed, clean and make me look good. (No creases, piles of washing, torn, out-of-date or ill-fitting clothes). My plants and animals are healthy. (Fed, watered, getting light and love). My bed/bedroom lets me have the best sleep possible. (Firm bed, light, air). I live in a house/condo that I love. I surround myself with beautiful things. I live in the geographical location of my choice. There is ample and healthy lighting around me. I consistently have adequate time, space and freedom in my life. Nothing in my environment harms me. I am not tolerating anything about my home or work environment. My work environment is productive and inspiring. (Synergistic, ample tools and resources; no undue pressure). My computer works very well and fully supports my efforts. My hair is the way I want it. I back up my hard drive at least monthly. I surround myself with music which makes my life more enjoyable. My bed is made daily. I don't injure myself, fall or bump into things. People feel comfortable in my home. I drink at least 2 liters of water a day. I have nothing around the house or in storage that I do not need. I am consistently early or easily on time. Your Physical Environment Total is :

Well-Being I rarely use caffeine. (Chocolate, coffee, colas, tea) less than 3 times per week, total. I rarely eat sugar. (Less than 3 times per week). I rarely watch television. (Less than 5 hours per week). I rarely drink alcohol. (Less than 2 drinks per week) My teeth and gums are healthy. (Have seen dentist in last 6 months). My cholesterol is at a healthy level. My blood pressure is at a healthy level. I have had a complete physical examination within the past 3 years. I do not smoke tobacco or other substances. I do not use illegal drugs or misuse prescribed medications. I have had a complete eye examination within the past two years.(Glaucoma check, vision test). My weight is within my ideal range. My nails are healthy and look good. I don't rush or use adrenaline to get the job done. I have a rewarding life beyond my work or profession. I have something to look forward to virtually every day. I have no habits which are unacceptable to me. I am aware of the physical or emotional problems or conditions I have, and I am now fully taking care of all of them. I consistently have evenings, weekends and holidays off and take at least four weeks of holiday each year. I have just the right amount of sleep. I use well-made sunglasses. I do not suffer. I laugh out loud every day. I walk or exercise at least three times per week. I hear well and protect myself from loud noises / concerts / music. Your Well-being Total is :

Money I currently save at least 10% of my income. I pay my bills on time. My income source/revenue base is stable and predictable. I know how much I must have to be minimally financially independent and I have a plan to get there. I have returned or made-good-on any money I borrowed. I have written agreements and am current with payments to individuals or companies to whom I owe money. I have 6 months' living expenses in an easily accessible account. I live on a weekly budget which allows me to save and not suffer. All my tax returns have been filed and all my taxes have been paid. I currently live well, within my means. I have excellent personal insurance. (Life, accident, disability, medical etc.). My assets (car, home, possessions, treasures) are well-insured. I have a financial plan for the next year. I have no legal clouds hanging over me. My will is up-to-date and accurate. Any parking tickets, alimony or child support are paid and current. My investments do not keep me awake at night. I know how much I am worth. I am on a career / professional / business track which is or will soon be financially and personally rewarding. My earnings are commensurate with the effort I put into my job. I have no "loose ends" at work. I am in relationship with people who can assist in my career/professional development. I rarely miss work due to illness. I am putting aside enough money each month to reach financial independence. My earnings outpace inflation, consistently. Your Money Total is :

Relationships I have told my parents, in the last 3 months, that I love them. I get along well with my sibling(s). I get along well with my coworkers/ clients. I get along well with my manager/staff. There is no one whom I would dread or feel uncomfortable "bumping into". (In the street, at an airport or party). I put people first and results second. I have let go of the relationships which drag me down or damage me. ("Let go" means to end, walk away from, declare complete, no longer be attached to). I have communicated or attempted to communicate with everyone whom I have hurt, injured or seriously upset, even if it wasn't fully my fault. I do not gossip or talk about others. I have a circle of friends/family who love and appreciate me for who I am, more than just what I do for them. I tell people how they can satisfy me. I am fully caught up with letters and calls. I always tell the truth, no matter what. I receive enough love from people around me to feel good. I have fully forgiven those people who have hurt/damaged me, intentional or not. I am a person of his/her word; people can count on me. I quickly correct miscommunications and misunderstandings when they do occur. I live life on my terms, not by the rules or preferences of others. I am complete with past loves or spouses. I am aware of my wants and needs and get them taken care of. I do not judge or criticize others. I do not "take personally" the things that people say to me. I have a best friend or soul-mate. I make requests rather than complain. I spend time with people who don't try to change me. Your Relationships Total is :

Scoring:Add your totals from the four sections. Initial scores for the first-time participant range, on average, between 30 - 70 points out of the 100 points possible. Most people who are "using" the program increase their scores between 2 and 6 points per month. Points are added more quickly at first, slowing down significantly after one has added 20 or so points. Major plateau areas are at 70-75, 85-90 and 95-100. Those last 5 or 10 are the ones which are most worth taking care of, given our egos are well entrenched among these incompletions. You want to take this program on with the intention of getting a 100.


Important Points:
This program is part of establishing a Strong Personal Foundation. With this strong base, one can build a vibrant and attractive future. But it requires an investment.

This program is a backdoor approach to personal growth, business success and happiness. Rather than chase goals or try to figure out one's life purpose, better to get the stuff out of the way so you can get the perspective you need to make better decisions and attract what you really want.

One of the goals is to stop having problems, handle the incompletions you have currently and maintain a clean space, forever, so you can create as you were designed to. The Clean Sweep Program is the first step in that process.

Isn't it time to invest in the most important thing in your life? YOU! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years’ experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their personal and professional life. Contact me  to book a free session and start today!