Try these habits that make both introverts and extroverts interesting:
- Ditch the dominant demeanor. We were taught to shake with a firm hand and stand
tall. But overdone nonverbal confidence makes the engagement all about you
–which counter intuitively, makes you uninteresting. Avoid the power poses. Put aside the posture of self-importance or status and display approachable body language.
- Make the encounter about them. Practice the art of getting them to talk about themselves. Use your curiosity, politeness, and social graces. Ask how they did it, or what they learned about it, or what advice they would share. When you respect another person’s opinion, you are respecting the other person.
- Be real. Allow yourself to be impressed. Compliment in a genuine manner. When you hear of an accomplishment, acknowledge it, inquire further and show interest. Engage more. People are temporarily impressed with the artificial, but sincerely like the authentic.
- Give more than you get. Don’t underestimate the value of asking for nothing. People know when you are playing the networking card. The hard charging, always-on-kind-of-person creates a desire to look for the exit routes. If you need something, give something first. The most interesting people focus on what they can do for you.
- Make a great “last” impression. Instead of ending with, “nice to meet you” shake hands and say, “I really enjoyed talking with you.” Make eye contact with a genuine smile. Self-promotion takes very little self-awareness. Being interesting and having a sense of presence is built on being self-aware, not self-absorbed.
Effective managers and supervisors have this sense of presence. When having a one-on-one work on these 5 habits. Let your direct report tell you what’s going well. Find out where they are challenged and ask them where they need your support. Help them become productive and spend time showing interest in their progress.
Charisma and presence are vital in management and it all starts with your habits and how you present yourself to others.
A great read called "The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism" by Olivia Fox Cabane will further explore these skills.
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