What makes people interesting? Those
with presence seem to create a halo effect around them. There’s a sense
of passion, confidence, enthusiasm, authenticity, captivation, and
comfortableness about them. So we say, “They have a presence.”
Try these habits that make both
introverts and extroverts interesting:
- Ditch the dominant demeanor. We were taught to shake with a firm hand and stand
tall. But overdone nonverbal confidence makes the engagement all about you
–which counter intuitively, makes you uninteresting. Avoid the power poses. Put aside the posture of self-importance or status and display approachable body language.
- Make the encounter about them. Practice the art of getting them to talk about
themselves. Use your curiosity, politeness, and social graces. Ask how they did it, or what they
learned about it, or what advice they would share. When you respect another person’s opinion, you are respecting
the other person.
- Be real. Allow yourself to be impressed. Compliment in a
genuine manner. When you hear of an accomplishment, acknowledge it, inquire further and show interest. Engage more. People are temporarily impressed
with the artificial, but sincerely like the authentic.
- Give more than you get. Don’t underestimate the value of asking for nothing. People know when you are playing the networking card. The hard
charging, always-on-kind-of-person creates a desire to look for the exit
routes. If you need something, give something first. The most
interesting people focus on what they can do for you.
- Make a great “last” impression. Instead of ending with, “nice to meet you” shake hands and say, “I really enjoyed
talking with you.” Make eye contact with a genuine smile. Self-promotion takes very little self-awareness. Being interesting
and having a sense of presence is built on being self-aware,
not self-absorbed.
Effective managers and supervisors
have this sense of presence. When having a one-on-one work on these 5
habits. Let your direct report tell you what’s going well. Find out
where they are challenged and ask them where they need your support. Help them become productive and spend
time showing interest in their progress.
Charisma and presence are vital in management and it all starts with your habits and how you present yourself to others.
A great read called "The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism" by Olivia Fox Cabane will further explore these skills.
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