Overcome Doubt and Fear

We were born with only a few fears — like the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All other fears we learn along the way. Like the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, and even the fear of success. Our greatest enemy in life is fear; because fear keeps us from doing many of those things, we would like to do that would make our life more complete and more enjoyable.

Doubt is the first cousin of fear and precedes it. We weren’t born with doubt. Our habit of doubt has grown throughout our life. If we dwell on a doubt and give in to it, it then grows into fear. James Allen, author of, “As A Man Thinketh” reminds us that doubt makes us ineffective, “A doubtful mind will be as unsettled as the wave of the sea that is tossed and driven by the wind; and every decision you then make will be uncertain, as you turn first this way, and then that.”

If most of our fears and all of our doubts are learned along the way, then we can “unlearn” them by becoming masters of our thoughts. Zig Ziglar quoted Mark Twain when he said, “True courage is not the absence of fear, and it’s the mastery of fear.” The people who live the life of their dreams have just as many fears as those who live miserable, unfulfilled lives – they have just learned to master their fears instead of allowing their fears to master them.

Norman Vincent Peale, writing in You Can If You Think You Can, provides us with a prescription for mastering fear and doubt. “You can cancel out fear with faith. For there is no force in this world more powerful than faith. The most amazing things can happen as a result of it…There are two massive thought forces competing for control of the mind: fear and faith, and faith is stronger, much stronger. Hold that thought of faith’s greater power until you believe it, for it can be the difference between success and failure.”

Doubt and fear are the great enemies of knowledge, and she who encourages them, who does not slay them, thwarts herself at every step.” — James Allen

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Start Reaching Your Goals!


Is there a goal that you have been meaning to start working on for a very long time? One thing or another in your life always seems to get in your way. What you need is a way to get motivated to start taking action in your life today. You can find the inspiration and the power within yourself to get to your goals.

• No one is going to do it for you. No matter how long you wait nobody is going to come swooping in and make your dreams come true for you. The sooner you accept that the power to reach your goals is yours, the sooner you can get it together and start working on them. It is essential to take personal responsibility for your life if you want to make real changes.

• When you learn a new skill or get good information from a book you have to actually put the knowledge to good use. Many people mistakenly believe that reading can replace doing. This is not the case. When you learn powerful information you have to use it in your life.

• You will only understand the scope of your actions by actually taking action. People learn by doing. All of those ideas look really good when you read them in a book but the reality may be more difficult than you think. You can really only understand the scope of your goals when you start working towards them.

• Your self-esteem will improve. Doing the right things every day and working towards your goals will lift your self-worth significantly. This effect will take hold even before you reach your goals. Just working towards something important will lift you up.

• You only have so much time, so do not waste a big chunk of it lost in procrastination. As hard as it is to get yourself to start, you will be happy to know that things get much better as you keep going. The steepest hill to climb over is to start. Once you start, you have conquered the biggest obstacle and this is something that you should be proud of in and of itself. By starting you put the wheels in motion to create momentum, and this momentum is crucial to bring you towards the finish line, so stop finding excuses and ways to delay your start. Choose to take action today, and never look back. You will be thankful that you did!

To get the support you need to stay motivated to achieve your goals visit http://www.denisedema.com and book a free session. 

Are You Really Commited?

Why is it that we tell ourselves we want certain things, but we don’t take action? We might have the best of intentions to make certain changes in our lives, yet we do not follow through on our resolutions?

Does that mean we are lazy or undisciplined? Are we afraid of failure? Are we holding on to limiting beliefs about ourselves?

We get frustrated when we think and say we are committed to wanting something for ourselves, but no action follows that voice of commitment.

When you fully commit to something, action always follows thought. There is no question, no debate, no doubt or struggle. You don’t wonder whether you will take action or not. Commitment goes beyond making a choice. People gain a mysterious strength and resolve when they make a commitment.

Commitment is a unique personal experience. There are many types of commitment strategies, yet the best personal style of commitment comes from a deep emotional awareness within yourself. Often our commitments are invisible to us and we don’t think about them as commitments, it is what we do naturally. And that’s the whole point.

Recall a time in your life when you were committed to something. You were so deeply committed that there was no doubt in your mind, and taking action was almost automatic and effortless. Take some time to answer the following questions to discover the underlying structure of your own personal commitment strategy.

  • When and where were you committed? Was it a commitment you made to yourself or others? Were there any external influences?
  • What were some of the actions you took?
  • How did you go about taking action? What was your strategy for taking action?  Did you write down your goal/ commitment or visualize your achievements? Did you call a friend or work with a professional coach? What skills or capabilities did you use?
  • What were some of the emotional reasons why you were committed? Reflect on the values and beliefs that motivated you to take action and follow through on your commitment.
  • How did you benefit from taking action? What was the cost of not taking action at all?
  • How did you think and feel about yourself as a person? Maybe you felt like a successful individual or a compassionate person.
  • How did your commitment impact others?

Understanding and modeling your personal commitment strategy will help you follow a path to achieve your goals. There is a difference between interest and commitment, interest gets you started, but your commitment will keep you there even after your interest leaves. When you commit to something, there are no excuses, only results. Get started today and book a complimentary coaching session at Business and Life Management Coaching.


Building Self-Confidence for Success!


From the quietly confident doctor whose advice we rely on, to the charismatic confidence of an inspiring speaker, self-confident people have qualities that everyone admires.

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: people who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful.

After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that's being pitched by someone who was nervous, fumbling, and overly apologetic.

On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his or her head high, who answers questions assuredly, and who readily admits when he or she does not know something.

Confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.

The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, whether you’re working on your own confidence or building the confidence of people around you, it’s well-worth the effort!

How Confident do you Seem to Others?

Your level of self-confidence can show in many ways: your behavior, your body language, how you speak, what you say, and so on. Look at the following comparisons of common confident behavior with behavior associated with low self-confidence. 

What is Self-Confidence?

Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem.

We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skills and achieving goals that matter in those skill areas. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we'll succeed; and it's this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks.

This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem, which is a more general sense that we can cope with what's going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling that the people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be able to control. However, it also comes from the sense that we are behaving virtuously, that we're competent at what we do, and that we can compete successfully when we put our minds to it.

Some people believe that self-confidence can be built with affirmations and positive thinking. There's some truth in this that helps you stay positive, but more important is building self-confidence by setting and achieving goals – thereby building competence. Without this underlying competence, you don't have self-confidence: you have shallow over-confidence, with all the issues, upset and failure that this brings.

Building Self-Confidence

So how do you build this sense of balanced self-confidence, founded on a firm appreciation of reality?

Unfortunately there’s no quick fix, or five-minute solution, but the good news is that becoming more confident is readily achievable, just as long as you have the focus and determination to carry things through. And what’s even better is that the things you’ll do to build your self-confidence will also build success – after all, your confidence will come from real, solid achievement. No-one can take this away from you!

So here are a few steps to build self-confidence and accelerate towards success.

Think what's important to you, and where you want to go. What are the things that are really important to you, and what do you want to achieve with your life.

Setting and achieving goals is a key part of building real confidence. Goal setting is the process you use to target and measure your success. Set goals that exploit your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, realize your opportunities, and control the threats you face. Identify the first step in each goal for attainment, and make incremental movement with activities that drive you forward. Goal setting is arguably the most important skill you can learn to improve your self-confidence.

Start Managing Your Mind, learn to pick up and defeat the negative self-talk and self limiting beliefs which can destroy your confidence. Pay attention to your internal dialogue and start thoughts with positive verbiage like; I can, I will, I am, instead of I can't, I don't, and I'm not.

Take it a step further and use mental images of what you'll feel and experience as you achieve your goals – there’s something about doing this that makes even major goals seem achievable!

And Then Commit Yourself to Success! Make a clear and unequivocal promise to yourself that you are absolutely committed to your journey, and that you will do all in your power to achieve it.

Self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other end, we have people who may be over-confident.

If you are under-confident, you’ll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself; and you might not try at all. And if you’re over-confident, you may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities. You may also find that you’re so optimistic that you don’t try hard enough to truly succeed.

Getting this right is a matter of having the right amount of confidence, founded in reality and on your true ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed risks, challenge yourself and try hard.

So, how self-confident are you? Start looking at specific strategies to improve your confidence level beginning with small, easy wins, you’ll put yourself on the path to success – and start building the self-confidence that comes with this.

Build the Knowledge you Need to Succeed by looking at your goals, identify the skills you’ll need to achieve them. And then look at how you can acquire these skills confidently and well. Don’t just accept a sketchy, just-good-enough solution – look for a solution, a program or a course, a mentor that fully equips you to achieve what you want to achieve and, ideally, gives you the skills you can be proud of.

Focus on the Basics when you’re starting, don’t reach for perfection – just enjoy doing simple things successfully and well to move forward toward each goal and, little by little, start piling up the successes!

Keep Managing Your Mind and stay on top of that positive thinking, keep celebrating and enjoying success, and keep those mental images strong. On the other side, learn to handle failure. Accept that mistakes happen when you’re trying something new. In fact, if you get into the habit of treating mistakes as learning experiences, you can start to see them in a positive light for growth.

Remember to keep yourself grounded. Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives in order to become happy and successful. 

Source: Mindtools

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