Developing Personal Integrity

 

Personal integrity is the quality of being honest with yourself and others, and living a life that is aligned with your moral principles. Developing personal integrity requires examining your beliefs and value system, and taking conscious steps to behave in ways that are consistent with your personal moral code. Here are some ways to develop personal integrity.

•  Identify aspects of your behavior that require change. Reflect on your interactions with others in the workplace, at home and in social situations to determine specific areas in need of improvement. For example, if you are late for work every day and feel guilty about creating excuses for this behavior, this may be an opportunity to develop greater personal integrity. 

• Determine your reasons for not behaving with greater personal integrity. For example, you may be pushing unpleasant work tasks on to other employees instead of being honest with your boss about your inability to do the tasks. You may be afraid to admit to yourself or to your boss that you do not possess the right skills or that the job is not the right fit for you.  

• Face the obstacles that cause you to lie or violate your moral code. This might involve finding a more suitable job, facing your fears about how others may perceive you and/or seeking out counseling to address emotional challenges and insecurities.  

• Practice truthfulness. Consider all of the relationships at home and work that will benefit from greater truthfulness. For example, if managing a team of employees, be honest and direct with each individual about your expectations and employee performance. Avoid backbiting or gossiping. Refrain from causing harm. Part of developing personal integrity is gauging when and how to deliver the truth. Be careful not to confuse truthfulness with anger-driven and brutally honest confrontation.

• Make a list of tasks and behaviors in which you will become more trustworthy. The list might range from basic tasks, such as taking out the trash as promised to repaying large sums of money in a timely manner.  

• Respect the property of others. Consider any complaints you may have received in the past about using another person's belongings, parking in someone else's parking spot or littering on another person's property. Make a concerted effort to respect other people's belongings.  

• Listen to and respect the opinions and decisions of others. Part of possessing personal integrity is acknowledging the human rights of others. Respecting diverse thoughts and decisions is a sign of open-mindedness and integrity.  

• Help others in need. If you are in a position to contribute to the development of others or help them to do something they cannot accomplish on their own, make an effort to assist.  

• Assess your progress. Developing personal integrity is a trial and error process that requires persistent effort. Ask yourself on a daily or weekly basis if you are making progress.  

• Enlist the help of others. Coaches, colleagues, relatives and friends who know you well and have your best interest at heart can assist your progress by providing objective feedback on a daily basis about the personal changes you are making.   

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Being Honest With Others

People often struggle with how to be honest with someone without sounding too negative.

Honesty is important. I believe we need to learn to acknowledge both the “positive” and “negative” that exist in the world – but we have to learn to do that while also not feeding into the negativity itself.

Sometimes it is appropriate to express concern for someone – maybe they are adopting unhealthy habits, or they are making relationship mistakes, or they aren’t making a good decision in their career, or whatever. If you want to motivate someone to change, you need to be kind and gentle when addressing things.

A good friend needs to be honest, and that sometimes means touching on subjects that aren’t always very comfortable to talk about. At the same time, we need to do it in a healthy and respectful way.

Being honest about negative things takes a lot of caution and skill.

Here are some tips on how to be honest with someone:

• Look at the situation from their perspective before you do anything.
• Ask yourself if this is something that really needs to be said. Are you telling them anything they don’t know or haven’t acknowledged?
• Choose your words carefully – say it to yourself before you say it out-loud. How does it sound?
• Don’t insult, blame, exaggerate, or be judgmental. Use a calm and respectful tone while describing the problem.
• Do it in private. You don’t want the person to feel like they are being pressured by a bunch of people all at once.
• Always offer a solution. Don’t just state a problem if you don’t have some good advice to go with it.
• Admit you could be wrong. This is just your opinion; the person doesn’t have to agree with you.
• Let it go if you notice the person is responding negatively toward it. Don’t persist if they aren’t interested in talking about it.
• Go back to being a good friend again. Don’t make it awkward.

You’ve probably experienced some of your own times when you’ve been the product of negative criticism. Maybe the person had a good point, but it was lost on you because of the way they delivered it. Try your best not to create that experience for someone else. Always think about how you would like to be treated and do the same for others.

The highest compact we can make with our fellow is - "Let there be truth between us two forevermore."  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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How Personal Accountability Improves Your Life

When you’re personally accountable, you take ownership of situations and see them through.

Personal accountability is being willing to answer for the outcomes resulting from your choices, behaviors, and actions. When you’re personally accountable, you take ownership of situations that you’re involved in. You see them through, and you take responsibility for what happens – good or bad. You don’t blame others if things go wrong. Instead, you do your best to make things right.

Sometimes it can be tough to take personal accountability. However, you'll find that it offers many advantages.

First, you’re likely to have healthier relationships with your friends, family, and colleagues. A study found that children who were encouraged to take personal responsibility for their actions also had more positive social interactions.

Accountability also builds trust within teams and organizations, because people know that they can depend on each other. Leaders who are accountable are more likely to be trusted and respected, because people know that they will keep their word.

Personal accountability can save time and money, too. People who take responsibility for their actions speak up, and they look for solutions when there's a problem. This not only prevents the situation getting worse, but it stops costs and delays from escalating.

Last, personal accountability can boost your chances of promotion. When you show senior colleagues that you’re dependable, you mark yourself out as someone with leadership potential.

How to Be More Accountable

Personal accountability isn’t a trait that people are born with, it’s a way of living that you can learn. Use the strategies below to become more accountable.

Know Your Role - It’s hard to be personally accountable if you're not clear what you’re responsible for.

If this is the case for you, ask your boss to provide a job description that sets out your tasks clearly. If responsibilities are unclear within the team, ask your manager to outline who is responsible for different team tasks, and to share this information with everyone involved.

Be Honest - Success in life only comes when you’re completely honest with yourself, and with others. This means setting aside your pride, and admitting when you’ve made a mistake.

So, tune into your "gut feelings" when things are difficult, and learn to ask for help if you’re struggling, so that you don’t let others down.

Honesty is always the best policy, but don’t use it to blame others, or to make excuses. Instead, focus on your own role in a situation, and think about how you can resolve the problem.

Say Sorry - Accountability doesn’t stop with honesty. If something has gone wrong and you were responsible, then you need to apologize.

Focus on making amends when you apologize – show what you’ll do to make the situation right. This allows everyone involved to move on, and helps them focus on the end goal, rather than the problem.

Also sometimes we must become aware of the legal implications of saying sorry: in some countries and states, this can be taken as an admission of liability.Take advice from your boss or a legal professional if you need to apologize on behalf of your organization.

Use Time Wisely - Procrastination is a common way to avoid responsibility, as it delays dealing with a problem, meaning that someone else may solve it instead. Your colleagues may feel that they can’t rely on you, and this will affect your professional reputation.

You can overcome procrastination by identifying why you do it. Is the task dull? Do you lack information or resources? Or is there some other cause? Once you understand why you put things off, you can take steps to fix the problem.

Next, practice good time management, so that you make time for what’s important. Use tools such as the Urgent/Important Matrix or Action Programs to manage your time more efficiently.

Don't Over Commit - When you take on too much, something will eventually fall through the cracks. That means that you've let someone down.

So, before you agree to a new task, think carefully about your schedule and whether you'll be able to fulfill the task to the best of your ability.

If you're not sure that you can complete it, say "yes" to the person and "no" to the task so that you maintain a strong relationship and a good reputation.

Make Changes - Accountability can open up powerful learning opportunities. When something hasn’t gone to plan, ask for feedback, and look for ways to do things differently in the future.

Reflect on your actions, too: spend some time at the end of each day running through these simple questions: What could I have done differently today? How can I build this change into my job from now on?

In time, you’ll build new skills and better ways to deal with difficult situations.

In some failing organizations, managers who avoid being accountable can get ahead, while those who take responsibility may be ejected if some small thing goes wrong.

If your organization has this type of culture, then it may be time to become accountable, and find a new role in a better organization.

So remember…When you’re personally accountable, you take ownership of what happens as a result of your choices and actions. You don’t blame others or make excuses, and you do what you can to make amends when things go wrong.

To become more accountable, make sure that you're clear about your roles and responsibilities. Be honest with yourself and others, so you can admit when you’re wrong, apologize, and move on.

Make the most of your time, and manage it carefully so that you don't take on too much.

Think carefully about situations where you didn’t take responsibility but should have. These mistakes and failures can be valuable teaching tools, if you have the courage to learn from them.

Expand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with the tools you need to excel in life! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years’ experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. Book a free session at www.denisedema.com today!

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