Live a Better Life by Aligning Your Values

Integrity is not so much a value in itself; it is rather the value that guarantees all the other values. 

Your core values govern the way you live and the way you respond to life. They govern the way you react to situations that present themselves. Your core values help to guide your decision making. They govern the way you react to your friends and to your non-friends. 

We are in harmony when we act in alignment with our core values. We can consciously act outside of our values. This brings on dissonance because our true values are still there at our core. Your core values act like a compass that sets your direction initially and then keeps you heading in the right direction over time. Your core values represent your authentic self.

If you are not a generally “aware” person, your values can sometimes be more apparent to others than to yourself. If you are more in touch with your values, you can make conscious decisions by applying your values in real time to assess the right course of action. You can pre-judge an appropriate course of action by the way you would feel about the immediate decision itself and about the downstream consequences of the action. 

Living in Congruence with Your Values

According to Stephen Covey: “Personal leadership is the process of keeping your vision and values before you and aligning your life to be congruent with them.” You are in control of your life. Really, you are - although at times, it may not be apparent to you:

• You are in control of your actions
• You are in control of your choices
• You are in control of how long you hold on to your thoughts
• You are in control of your feelings. 

Taking charge of yourself by being accountable and accepting responsibility for your actions are hallmarks of a strong character – and your authentic self. Living your life in alignment with your core values is not always the easy course to follow – many difficult decisions must be made along the way. We can ask ourselves: Will I do the expedient thing or will I do the right thing? You know in your heart that you know the difference. 

When you live according to your core values you are in balance; life moves freely. When you stray from your core values, stress can build beneath the surface. Over time, you can come back into alignment with your core values or you can rationalize your values away. By not following your core values, you can begin to lose your moorings. You can shift your value set point; another weaker value can overtake an existing one if followed repeatedly. 

This can be a slippery slope as one decision eventually leads to another of questionable integrity; this in turn builds on and leads to other decisions which are out of alignment with our core values. Each decision chips away incrementally at our core values. 

Where does it end? It ends when our integrity steps in to re-assert the power to define our core values and behaviors. Our integrity will begin the realignment back to where we started or else to a new core values set point depending upon the transformation process and triggers; the new set point can be either more or less strident than before. Chart and observe this process of alignment with core values in your own life. 

Call to Action

1. Identify five core values that are very important to you.

2. Consider how those values define your character - either who you are or who you want to become.

3. Start making decisions in every area of your life that honors your core values!

4. Look at how you responded the last time your core values were tested? How did you feel after you acted? Where your actions aligned with your values?

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Expand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with the tools you need to excel in your life! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years’ experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. Book a complimentary strategy session at www.denisedema.com today.

Choices

Decisions are the Building Blocks of Our Lives!

All of our decisions are the building blocks that create our lives. Every day we make many decisions that affect our social and professional life with some having better outcomes than others. Some decisions can be made at the spur of the moment, such as what to eat for breakfast while others may require weeks to evaluate and weigh the pros and cons, such as accepting a new job assignment. Either way, each and every decision will have an impact on your life and in many cases the lives of others around you.

Have you ever noticed how your moods shift when you are caught up in having to make an important decision? How you can go from perfectly balanced one minute to teetering on the edge of ‘the pit of despair’ in the next minute. Decision making is unsettling. It puts one foot in one world and the other foot in a completely different world. We become split between the two as we battle with the right decision to make.
 
How is it possible to make effective decisions that will help you to end up where you want to be? It starts with clarity....

Your decision must be in alignment with your values. If you have not clearly defined what your values are (the things that really matter to you) then you will be making decisions based on the values of others.

Your decision must be in alignment with your long and short-term goals. Many times immediate wants and needs can prevent the achievement of our more important life goals. By writing down your goals you are giving yourself a framework to get yourself where you want to be. Clarify your goals.

Your decision must be made by having the adequate information to support an intelligent choice. You can’t make a good decision if you don’t know all the facts. Consider all perspectives. Where possible seek out the opinions of people whose judgment and character you respect. Clarify the facts.

Your decision must come with a set of actions. Just as you set up step by step plans to achieve your goals. You should take into account the steps that it will take to follow through with your decision to get your end result. Clarify your actions.

Your decision must be made while considering all the consequences. Who has a stake in the decision you are about to make? How is your decision likely to affect them? Clarify your stakeholders.

You must be sure to monitor your decisions to make sure that they continue to line up with all the other decisions you make. Your decisions are the building blocks of your life. Build a solid foundation of good decisions to support future decisions. Clarify your building blocks.

Here is an exercise to measure if you are on track navigating your life with effective decision making:

• List three, of what you believe to presently be, your core values.
• Prioritize three short term goals and three long term goals.
• Reflect on your goals. Do they represent all three of your core values?

Many times we do not take the time to stop and think when under the strain of making a decision. When we are in a hurry or under pressure we tend to make decisions based on the values of others and not our own values. This can result in decisions that will not get you where you want to be and you will end up someplace else. If you never want to be lost, you will need to determine your values, match them with your goals, and build your life one effective decision at a time.

Get the tools you need to excel in your life by working with Denise Dema, a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years experience empowering individuals, executives and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. Book a complimentary session at http://www.denisedema.com to get started in reaching your goals today!