We Are Defined By Our Thoughts So Make Them Positive

We often define ourselves by the mental chatter that goes on constantly inside our heads. By our thoughts, we have ideas of who we are and what everything around us means.

And the only way that you can begin to recondition your subconscious mind for success is by detaching yourself from the idea that you are your thoughts.

Feelings of success, mindfulness and happiness come from the realization that thoughts come and go of their own accord—that you are not your thoughts. You can watch as your thoughts appear in your mind, almost from thin air, and watch again as they disappear, like a soap bubble bursting. Your thoughts come and they go, and ultimately, you have a choice about whether to act on them or not.

If you have been operating on autopilot for a while, you’ve probably settled into a nice groove, and it takes some serious effort to change that. It's sort of like how you feel on a cold winter morning, while you're nestled in between your warm sheets, when the thought of getting out of bed is uncomfortable, and when doing so requires motivation and willpower.

But whenever you fully grasp the idea that you are something far greater than your thoughts—beyond words at all—you begin to understand that you have the power to choose which thoughts you will think.

Try it out:
Think of a purple banana... Got it?
Think of a flying elephant... Got it?
Think of a green bicycle... Got it?

You were able to conjure up images of these incredibly silly ideas because you have control over your mind. Your mind will do whatever you tell it to do, so altering your subconscious mind, and therefore your life, is no more difficult a task than telling your mind to do new things—new things, like complete belief in yourself and your abilities, regardless of what anyone else thinks or says.

A simple way to grasp this whole idea is to compare your mind and your thoughts to a computer. Your subconscious mind can be compared to the hard drive, the actual machine itself; your conscious mind can be compared to the programs that are loaded on the machine; and you can be compared to the programmer, who chooses the programs that are installed on the computer.

Your thoughts and beliefs are nothing but programs that are installed on your hard drive, and since they determine the course of your life, it would be wise to install the most beneficial programs you can find. All it takes to reprogram your mind is a sincere desire to do so and an indomitable persistence to stick with it day after day.

When you catch yourself thinking the following negative thoughts, replace them with these positive thoughts.

When you think this… Say this instead…

1. Think about the future! Enjoy the moment you’re in right now. 
2. Don’t do something you’ll regret! In the end, we only regret the things we didn’t get to do. 
3. I wish I hadn’t done that! I can’t change the past—learn and move on. 
4. Will things ever work out? What’s meant to be will happen. 
5. Why did they do that? I can’t control others but I can control how I react to it. 
6. Will I ever find happiness? What can I be happy about right now? 
7. What’s wrong with me? I am perfect exactly the way I am in this moment. 

You can flip it and begin training your thoughts to empowering statements of positivity. Changing the way you think is vital to your success. Negative thinking can stop you before you even get started.

As Wayne Dyer said, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

Source: Success.com

Replace Negative Thoughts With Positive Thinking

Positive and negative thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies: What we expect can often come true.  

If you start off thinking you will mess up a task, the chances are that you will: You may not try hard enough to succeed, you won't attract support from other people, and you may not perceive any results as good enough. Positive thinking, on the other hand, is often associated with positive actions and outcomes. You're drawn to, and you focus on, the positive aspects of a situation. You have hope and faith in yourself and others, and you work and invest hard to prove that your optimism is warranted. You'll enthuse others, and they may well "pitch in" to help you. This makes constructive outcomes all the more likely.  When it comes down to it, positive, optimistic people are happier and healthier, and enjoy more success than those who think negatively. The key difference between them is how they think about and interpret the events in their life.

So, how do you think about your successes and failures? Do you think you have a predictable thinking pattern?

The first step in changing negative thinking is to become aware of it. For many of us, negative thinking is a bad habit – and we may not even know we're doing it! 

Consider these examples of negative thought patterns: The guy on the subway who just made a face is surely directing his behavior at you. When the receptionist doesn't greet you in the morning, you must have done something to anger her. again! You go straight to the coffee machine, because it's Monday morning and you just know you'll be solving problems until lunchtime. When you finally get to your desk, your assistant is waiting for you. "Oh no," you think. "What has he done now? The first problem of the day.”

Imagine how it makes you feel to constantly surround yourself with negativity. Then ask yourself if this is the way you tend to think in your own life? Dr Martin Seligman, who has been described as America's most influential psychologist, has done extensive research on thought patterns. In particular, he looks at the impact of an optimistic versus pessimistic outlook on life and success. He uses three basic dimensions of Permanence, Pervasiveness and Personalization, with optimistic people on one end of the scale and pessimistic people on the other.

Permanence

Believing that something we are experiencing is either permanent or temporary. The pessimist statement implies that you think bad times will carry on forever. 

Pessimist: I lost my job and I'll never find one as good again. No point even looking!

Optimist: I lost my job. Thank goodness there are other opportunities I can explore!

Pervasiveness

Believing that situational factors cause an effect or that the effect is evidence of more universal factors at work. The pessimist statement shows that you tend to think that if you've experienced a problem in one place, you'll experience that problem wherever you go.

Pessimist: I lost my job. Companies are all the same; all they care about is money. I don't know why I bother putting in any effort at all.

Optimist: I lost my job. It's too bad our company has to reinvent itself to stay competitive. Thankfully I learned some great transferable skills!

Personalization

Believing that something about you influenced the outcome or that something external to you caused it.  The pessimist tends to blame himself for bad things, rather than attributing the cause to more general factors. 

Pessimist: I lost my job. If I had been a decent employee they would have found a new job for me.

Optimist: I lost my job. I gave it my all, however they just can't use my skill set right now.

Re-shape Your Thinking

The way you view what happens around you can show whether you have a positive or negative pattern of thinking when you become more aware of your thoughts - and the effect they have on your life. 

When you're more aware of the way you think, you can take action to use positive situations to your advantage, and re-shape the negative ones. The goal is to think positively, regardless of the situation, and make a conscious effort to see opportunities instead of obstacles.

So if we look at one of the examples listed above, if you immediately think the receptionist is mad at you because she didn't say hello, how rational is that? Now change that thought to more rational outcomes like, she have been busy or distracted when you walked by or did you say hello to her? Maybe she wasn't feeling well, or she was in a negative mood herself. These are all more rational reasons for her behavior than simply assuming that you did something wrong.  Persistent negative thinking can cause mental health problems, including depression. While these positive thinking techniques have been shown to have a positive effect, they are for guidance only, and readers should take the advice of suitably qualified health professionals if they are experiencing persistent unhappiness.

Key Points

Becoming more positive is always a good thing. The more aware you are of your thoughts, the better you'll be able to change them to emphasize the positive.  Positive thinking usually attracts positive people, events, and outcomes. If you want to create an environment where you're successful and satisfied, you'll need the power of positive thinking on your side.  You may not be aware of all of your negative thoughts and the effect they have on your life, however, by taking some time to understand your own thought patterns, you can challenge those irrational, negative thoughts – and replace them with more positive, optimistic and empowering messages.

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." - Buddha

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Live a Better Life by Aligning Your Values

Integrity is not so much a value in itself; it is rather the value that guarantees all the other values. 

Your core values govern the way you live and the way you respond to life. They govern the way you react to situations that present themselves. Your core values help to guide your decision making. They govern the way you react to your friends and to your non-friends. 

We are in harmony when we act in alignment with our core values. We can consciously act outside of our values. This brings on dissonance because our true values are still there at our core. Your core values act like a compass that sets your direction initially and then keeps you heading in the right direction over time. Your core values represent your authentic self.

If you are not a generally “aware” person, your values can sometimes be more apparent to others than to yourself. If you are more in touch with your values, you can make conscious decisions by applying your values in real time to assess the right course of action. You can pre-judge an appropriate course of action by the way you would feel about the immediate decision itself and about the downstream consequences of the action. 

Living in Congruence with Your Values

According to Stephen Covey: “Personal leadership is the process of keeping your vision and values before you and aligning your life to be congruent with them.” You are in control of your life. Really, you are - although at times, it may not be apparent to you:

• You are in control of your actions
• You are in control of your choices
• You are in control of how long you hold on to your thoughts
• You are in control of your feelings. 

Taking charge of yourself by being accountable and accepting responsibility for your actions are hallmarks of a strong character – and your authentic self. Living your life in alignment with your core values is not always the easy course to follow – many difficult decisions must be made along the way. We can ask ourselves: Will I do the expedient thing or will I do the right thing? You know in your heart that you know the difference. 

When you live according to your core values you are in balance; life moves freely. When you stray from your core values, stress can build beneath the surface. Over time, you can come back into alignment with your core values or you can rationalize your values away. By not following your core values, you can begin to lose your moorings. You can shift your value set point; another weaker value can overtake an existing one if followed repeatedly. 

This can be a slippery slope as one decision eventually leads to another of questionable integrity; this in turn builds on and leads to other decisions which are out of alignment with our core values. Each decision chips away incrementally at our core values. 

Where does it end? It ends when our integrity steps in to re-assert the power to define our core values and behaviors. Our integrity will begin the realignment back to where we started or else to a new core values set point depending upon the transformation process and triggers; the new set point can be either more or less strident than before. Chart and observe this process of alignment with core values in your own life. 

Call to Action

1. Identify five core values that are very important to you.

2. Consider how those values define your character - either who you are or who you want to become.

3. Start making decisions in every area of your life that honors your core values!

4. Look at how you responded the last time your core values were tested? How did you feel after you acted? Where your actions aligned with your values?

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