Showing posts with label improve your life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label improve your life. Show all posts

Overcome Doubt and Fear




We were born with only a few fears — like the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All other fears we learn along the way. Like the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, and even the fear of success. Our greatest enemy in life is fear; because fear keeps us from doing many of those things, we would like to do that would make our life more complete and more enjoyable.

Doubt is the first cousin of fear and precedes it. We weren’t born with doubt. Our habit of doubt has grown throughout our life. If we dwell on a doubt and give in to it, it then grows into fear. James Allen, author of, “As A Man Thinketh” reminds us that doubt makes us ineffective, “A doubtful mind will be as unsettled as the wave of the sea that is tossed and driven by the wind; and every decision you then make will be uncertain, as you turn first this way, and then that.”

If most of our fears and all of our doubts are learned along the way, then we can “unlearn” them by becoming masters of our thoughts. Zig Ziglar quoted Mark Twain when he said, “True courage is not the absence of fear, and it’s the mastery of fear.” The people who live the life of their dreams have just as many fears as those who live miserable, unfulfilled lives – they have just learned to master their fears instead of allowing their fears to master them.

Norman Vincent Peale, writing in You Can If You Think You Can, provides us with a prescription for mastering fear and doubt. “You can cancel out fear with faith. For there is no force in this world more powerful than faith. The most amazing things can happen as a result of it…There are two massive thought forces competing for control of the mind: fear and faith, and faith is stronger, much stronger. Hold that thought of faith’s greater power until you believe it, for it can be the difference between success and failure.”

Doubt and fear are the great enemies of knowledge, and she who encourages them, who does not slay them, thwarts herself at every step.” — James Allen

Achieve your full potential. Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years of experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. Book your complimentary session at http://www.denisedema.com

What you focus on expands.

 


Your life becomes what you focus on. Your thought patterns create the texture of your everyday life. You are always focusing on something. The experiences you create in this very moment, and the next, are based on where your focus lies.


What you see depends on what you look for. What you hear depends on what you listen for and what you feel depends on the experiences you seek. Your expectations, based on what you focus on, blossom into self-fulfilling prophecies.

The results you create are a result of your focus. If you're not getting the results you are looking for, it is time to re-examine what you focus on. If you keep focusing on the same things and keep doing what you’ve always done, sure enough, you’ll keep getting the same results.

Your mind cannot tell the difference between something you think about or focus on that you do want, and the stuff you think about that you don’t want. Your mind is a very effective goal seeking mechanism and seeks to create precisely what you focus on. The key is to direct your focus on the goals and experiences that you do want in your life.

Think of your focus as a sticky boomerang. What you focus on comes back to you, with more strength that it has gathered along the way. If you send out anger, fear, negativity or jealousy, you will invite the same thoughts manifold.

What you focus on expands.

Focus on what is going well in your life right now and what is good for you moving forward. Focus on your innate talents and capabilities. Focus on what you believe is possible and you will see opportunities rather than constraints.
 

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Why is Self-Awareness So Important?




Self-Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions. Self-Awareness allows you to understand other people, how they perceive you, your attitude and your responses to them in the moment.

We might quickly assume that we are self-aware, but it is helpful to have a relative scale for awareness. If you have ever been in an auto accident you may have experienced everything happening in slow motion and noticed details of your thought process and the event. This is a state of heightened awareness. With practice we can learn to engage these types of heightened states and see new opportunities for interpretations in our thoughts, emotions, and conversations. Having awareness creates the opportunity to make changes in behavior and beliefs.

Why Develop Self Awareness?

As you develop self-awareness you are able to make changes in the thoughts and interpretations you make in your mind. Changing the interpretations in your mind allows you to change your emotions. Self-awareness is one of the attributes of Emotional Intelligence and an important factor in achieving success.

Self-awareness is the first step in creating what you want and mastering your life. Where you focus your attention, your emotions, reactions, personality and behavior determine where you go in life. Having self-awareness allows you to see where your thoughts and emotions are taking you. It also allows you to take control of your emotions, behavior, and personality so you can make changes you want. Until you are aware in the moment of your thoughts, emotions, words, and behavior, you will have difficulty making changes in the direction of your life.


Self-Awareness in Relationships

Relationships are easy until there is emotional turmoil. This is the same whether you are at work or in your personal life. When you can change the interpretation in your mind of what you think you can change your emotions and shift the emotional quality of your relationships. When you can change the emotions in your relationships you open up entirely new possibilities in your life.

Having a clear understanding of your thought and, behavior patterns helps you understand other people. This ability to empathize facilitates better personal and professional relationships.

How to Develop Self Awareness

Self-awareness is developed through practices in focusing your attention on the details of your personality and behavior. It isn’t learned from reading a book. When you read a book you are focusing your attention on the conceptual ideas in the book. You can develop an intellectual understanding of the ideas of self-awareness from a book, but this is not the same. With your attention in a book you are practicing not paying attention to your own behavior, emotions and personality.

Think of learning to be mindful and self-aware as learning to dance. When learning to dance we have to pay attention to how and where our feet move, our hands and body motion, what our partner is doing, music, beat, floor space, and other dancers. Dancing isn’t learned from books and Self- Awareness isn’t either. A dancer needs awareness of their body movements. Self-awareness is what you develop when you pay attention to your expressions of thought, emotions, and behavior. In my years of study and working with clients I have discovered many useful techniques that accelerate this learning.

In the process of these sessions I am not telling anybody what to believe, how they should think, or what they should do. I am basically sharing with people exercises in raising their self-awareness. When you become more self-aware you instinctively begin to see aspects of your personality and behavior that you didn’t notice before.

If you have an emotional reaction of anger or frustration, you notice many of the thoughts and small triggers that build up towards those emotions. You also notice moments when you can change the interpretations in your mind, or not believe what you are thinking. In this heightened awareness you instinctively make better choices in your thought process long before an emotional reaction or destructive behavior.

Making changes in your behavior is much easier to do when you catch them early in the dynamic, before the momentum of thought and emotion has gathered steam. The changes in your mind and behavior become simple and easy steps when you develop self-awareness.

Expand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with tools to help you excel in your professional and personal life. Work with a Business and Life Management Coach to achieve your full potential. Book a Complimentary Coaching Session at http://www.denisedema.com

Have a Healthy Start To The New Year!

There’s something inspiring about the start of a new year. It’s when you promise yourself you’ll eat better, exercise more and watch less TV. But when reality sets in, it can be difficult to break less-desirable habits and embrace newer, more constructive ones.

Practice deep breathing twice a day for five minutes.
Stress is the greatest ager. Deep breathing and behavioral modification can control your reaction to stressful events.

Break the vicious cycle of stress with a productive response to any kind of stressful event: breath in deeply through your nose and out through your mouth. Place a finger on your belly button and concentrate on your finger moving in as you breathe in and out as you exhale. Deep breaths like this can act as a mini meditation.Shifting to slower breathing in times of tension can help calm you and allow you to perform better mentally and physically.

Honor sleep.
When you’re busy, it’s easy to say the thing you want to sacrifice is sleep. But you need sleep for many reasons, and one of the biggies is that it conditions your brain for optimal learning, problem-solving and memory. Shoot for 6.5 to 8.5 hours per night.

Walk 10,000 steps a day.
The sweet spot for getting the maximal health benefit for minimal work is 10,000 steps a day. Research shows it’s the number of steps that can help people lose weight and gain control of diabetes.

Try these indoor exercises when the temperature is too cold outside.
  • Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
  • Walk a few laps around your office or home each hour.
  • Do lunges or jumping jacks while you’re standing at the stove or the washing machine.
Choose your food wisely.
Pan-seared salmon. A sun-ripened pear. Stick to foods like these that you and your body love.

In a fascinating new study, researchers from Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston examined the eating habits and health records of almost 55,000 women over about 26 years. Those who ate the most produce, good fats, and lean proteins—and who steered clear of things like sugary drinks, trans fat and too much alcohol—were 13 percent more likely to stay mobile and independent compared to those whose diets were less healthy.

That’s big news. More mobility means more freedom to live the life you want. It also keeps your body and mind younger while cutting your risk for heart disease, diabetes and depression.

A pro tip for healthy eating: Buy a good cooking knife.
If you invest in a high-quality knife and learn how to use it, your time savings in meal preparation will be enormous, and your desire and willingness to make delicious meals will increase exponentially.

Know your health numbers.
Keep the following in mind throughout the year:
  • 120/80 or lower: A normal blood pressure reading
  • 35 or less (for women) or 39 or less (for men): A healthy waist circumference measured at the belly button
  • 2: The number of times weekly to build and preserve muscle with strength training.
Give your brain a workout.
We’re huge fans of puzzles that stimulate the brain. Try out sites like BrainHQ.com for stimulation designed to keep you sharp, or stick with old standbys like the daily crossword, Sudoku or a big jigsaw puzzle.

Personal growth is one of the keys to feeling happy. Focus on self-improvement daily, whether it’s taking better care of your health, doing things that give you confidence or journaling to understand yourself better.

A recent study of newly graduated college students proved focusing on happiness matters. Young adults who spent their first two years out of school pursuing materialistic goals (wealth, looks and fame) were far less happy than students who achieved more intrinsic personal goals, like getting involved in their communities or nurturing close friendships.

Expand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with tools to help you excel in life. Work with a Business and Life Management Coach to achieve your full potential today! Book a complimentary session at www.denisedema.com

Live a Better Life by Aligning Your Values



Integrity is not so much a value in itself; it is rather the value that guarantees all the other values. 

Your core values govern the way you live and the way you respond to life. They govern the way you react to situations that present themselves. Your core values help to guide your decision making. They govern the way you react to your friends and to your non-friends. 

We are in harmony when we act in alignment with our core values. We can consciously act outside of our values. This brings on dissonance because our true values are still there at our core. Your core values act like a compass that sets your direction initially and then keeps you heading in the right direction over time. Your core values represent your authentic self.

If you are not a generally “aware” person, your values can sometimes be more apparent to others than to yourself. If you are more in touch with your values, you can make conscious decisions by applying your values in real time to assess the right course of action. You can pre-judge an appropriate course of action by the way you would feel about the immediate decision itself and about the downstream consequences of the action. 

Living in Congruence with Your Values
According to Stephen Covey: “Personal leadership is the process of keeping your vision and values before you and aligning your life to be congruent with them.” You are in control of your life. Really, you are - although at times, it may not be apparent to you:

• You are in control of your actions
• You are in control of your choices
• You are in control of how long you hold on to your thoughts
• You are in control of your feelings. 

Taking charge of yourself by being accountable and accepting responsibility for your actions are hallmarks of a strong character – and your authentic self. Living your life in alignment with your core values is not always the easy course to follow – many difficult decisions must be made along the way. We can ask ourselves: Will I do the expedient thing or will I do the right thing? You know in your heart that you know the difference. 

When you live according to your core values you are in balance; life moves freely. When you stray from your core values, stress can build beneath the surface. Over time, you can come back into alignment with your core values or you can rationalize your values away. By not following your core values, you can begin to lose your moorings. You can shift your value set point; another weaker value can overtake an existing one if followed repeatedly. 

This can be a slippery slope as one decision eventually leads to another of questionable integrity; this in turn builds on and leads to other decisions which are out of alignment with our core values. Each decision chips away incrementally at our core values. 

Where does it end? It ends when our integrity steps in to re-assert the power to define our core values and behaviors. Our integrity will begin the realignment back to where we started or else to a new core values set point depending upon the transformation process and triggers; the new set point can be either more or less strident than before. Chart and observe this process of alignment with core values in your own life. 

Call to Action
1. Identify five core values that are very important to you.
2. Consider how those values define your character - either who you are or who you want to become.
3. Start making decisions in every area of your life that honors your core values!
4. Look at how you responded the last time your core values were tested? How did you feel after you acted? Where your actions aligned with your values?
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Expand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with the tools you need to excel in your life! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years’ experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. Book a complimentary strategy session at www.denisedema.com today.


The Road To Happiness



We always think that the life will be easier after you finish studying, get married or find a good job…. But when you’ve already accomplished that, you’re controlled by so many worries again and again… We are usually unsatisfied, when our life is not the same as what we wanted. For some reason nothing can make us truly happy or happy enough…

Are there many people who recognize that the happiest time in their life is the moment we are living in? Life contains many challenges and difficulties, troubles and losses… The way to adapt ourselves to the life we have – is accepting it the way it is and believing in ourselves. Anyone knows what happiness feels like, and it’s a great feeling! So why don’t we let it in our hearts?

Don’t wait for any miracle or anybody to bring the happiness to you, don’t wait until you are graduated, don’t wait until you can earn more money, get more success, get married or retired to see what happiness is. Feel happy now. Why not?

Happiness is a road, an itinerary… Let’s enjoy each moment on that itinerary. Let’s spend the time to take care of other people and ourselves.  It’s never too late to start feeling happy for no particular reason. Start with the knowledge that you are alive, healthy and have some loving and caring people around you. Embrace these thoughts and all the good in your life. If you think about it, you will probably find a hundred and one reasons, why you should feel happy right now.

Let’s love and live with all our hearts today, right now and focus on this very moment. 

You will sure find true happiness if you learn to enjoy every day of your life no matter what it brings.

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. - Helen Keller

Get on the right path to achieve your full potential! Focus on personal development to improve your life. Book a free strategy session at http://www.denisedema.com