How to Get and Stay Motivated!

You likely know of people who have been doing the same thing for years and seem to not have any problem staying stagnet. Whether it be in their marriage, job, or personal endeavors, they seem to be getting along just fine without progressing towards anything "better." 

On the other hand, I’m sure you also know of individuals who focus on the positive, goals setting and are constantly pushing themselves to greater heights. Be it promotions at work, building a family, celebrating marriage milestones, traveling more, or going to school again, these individuals seem to constantly progress towards something that improves or enhances their life.

So what’s the difference between these two types of individuals?

What you feel capable of doing comes down to one thing: motivation. It’s the force, or lack of, that keeps driving you forward to overcome challenges and obstacles to achieve your goals.

Without motivation, you’ll give up after a few failed attempts, or even on the first tough challenge that comes your way. Or you’ll just remain where you are: unhappy yet not doing anything to progress ahead.

Whether you realize it or not, motivation is a huge force in your life, and it needs to be harnessed in order to excel and actually enjoy whatever it is that you’re doing on a daily basis. If you find yourself thinking, “I need motivation,” there are specific steps you can take.

Unfortunately, many overgeneralize the word motivation. We think of being either motivated or unmotivated as a simple “yes” or “no” state of being.

But motivation is not a switch. Motivation is a flow.

The Motivation Flow

To feel motivated, you need to dive beyond the surface. Just reading a motivational quote, being encouraged by your friends or mentor, or writing out a short to-do list won’t help you build sustainable motivation in the long run.

You can think of the motivation that we want to achieve like the Sun (self-sustaining and long-lasting), which supplies a constant influx of energy to all life on Earth. Just like the Sun, your “motivation engine” has different layers, starting from the core and spreading out to the surface. The surface is what you see, but the real process is driven from the core (your internal motivation); and that’s the most important part.

If you can create a self-sustaining motivation engine, you’ll be able to find more meaning in your life and enjoy every minute of what you’re doing, which will make your roles and responsibilities less of a chore.

Let me help you understand this motivation flow better by breaking down the motivation engine into 3 parts:

1. Core – Purpose
2. Support – Enablers
3. Surface – Acknowledgement

The Outer Layer: Surface

The outermost layer, also known as Acknowledgement, encompasses any type of external recognition that might give you motivation. It may come in the form of respect or recognition, such as compliments and praise.

Or it could be emotional support through encouragement, feedback, and constructive criticism. It could also be affiliation, where you have mutual companions or buddies sharing the same goal or burden with you.

One recent study pointed out that “rewards had a positive impact on work motivation but no significant relationship existed between reward and job satisfaction”^[1].

Therefore, it’s important to recognize that rewards will motivate you, but they won’t necessarily make you happier in an undesirable situation.

This is generally what you see on the surface when you look at other people. You see the external acknowledgement, respect, and recognition they’re getting.

The Middle Layer: Support

In essence, the second layer of the motivation engine (also known as Enablers) is what supports your goals. They can magnify the motivation core you have, or speed up the momentum that you build. Basically, they create favorable circumstances for things to go smoothly.

If you want to know how to find motivation, positive enablers are key. This could include friends and family, a coach or any support network you’ve created in life.

The Innermost Layer: Core

But what’s most important, and the true driving force behind your motivation flow, is the innermost core, your Purpose. Your purpose is what differentiates the motivated from the unmotivated, the achievers from the underachievers, the happy from the unhappy.

Your motivational core is your Purpose, and it is sustained by two things: having meaning, and forward movement. With these two as a foundation, you’ll have a power source that will feed you motivational energy indefinitely.

Sustaining Your Core Motivation — Your Purpose

Having meaning is simple. If you want to learn how to find motivation, just ask yourself a question: Why?

Why are you pursuing a certain goal? If the reason is vague or unclear, then your motivational energy will be the same. While motivation provides you energy to do something, that energy needs to be focused somewhere. So without meaning, there is no direction for your energy to focus.

Yet, having a meaningful objective doesn’t mean you have to change the world or have a huge impact on society. The secret to meaningful work is simple: it should contribute value to something or someone that matters to you.

One study suggested creativity as one possible path to meaning, saying: “Many of the core concepts in work on the meaning of life, such as the needs for coherence, significance, and purpose or the desire for symbolic immortality, can be reached through creative activity”^[2].

Next up is gaining forward movement. In short, this means to just keep moving. Like a snowball, motivation from having progress creates momentum. So to keep this up, you have to keep moving.

The good news is, your progress doesn’t have to be huge for you to recognize it. Small amounts of progress can be just as motivating, as long as they keep coming. Like driving a car, you may be really impatient if you’re at a complete halt. But, it lessens if you’re moving forward, even if you’re moving slowly.

Creating a simple progress indicator, like checklists or milestones, is a great way to visualize your small (and big) wins. They trigger your brain to recognize and acknowledge them, giving you small boosts of motivational energy.

This is why video games are so addictive! They’re full of progress indicators everywhere. Even though the progress is completely virtual, they’re still able to trigger the motivation centers in your brain.

How to Get Motivated Daily

1. Find out What Drives You Today

Why not take some time today and do a quick reflection of where you’re at now? Take one aspect of your life that you’d like to progress further in.

For example, it may be your current job. Start with your why. Write down your reasons for why you’re in the job that you’re in.

Then, think about your Motivation Core: your Purpose. Write down what it is within your job that gives you meaning, and what are some things that will help push you forward in life.

Once you have those points, it’s time to do a comparison. Does your current job help you make progress towards that purpose that you’ve written?

If it does, you’re on the right track. If it doesn’t, or if you’ve realized your life isn’t going where you want it to, don’t panic. There’re tools that can help you get through this.

Do your best to not focus on the negative. Review your goals and aim yourself in a positive direction, even if it means that you start small.

2. Change Your Approach and Don’t Give up

When something doesn’t feel right, it’s always a good time to take a moment and look for a different approach if you want to learn how to get motivation.

You may be doing everything correctly and efficiently, but such an approach isn’t necessarily the most motivating one. Quite often, you can find a number of obvious tweaks to your current approach that will both change your experience and open up new possibilities.

That’s why saying “one way or another” is so common—if you really want to accomplish your goal, there is always a way; and most likely, there’s more than one way.

If a certain approach doesn’t work for you, find another one, and keep trying until you find the one that will both keep you motivated and get you the desired results.

3. Recognize Your Progress

Everything you may be working on can be easily split into smaller parts and stages. For most big or long-term goals, it is quite natural to split the process of accomplishing them into smaller tasks and milestones. There are a few reasons behind doing this, and one of them is tracking your progress.

We track our progress automatically with most activities, but to stay motivated, you need to recognize your progress, not merely track it. Tracking is merely taking note of having reached a certain stage in your process. Recognizing is taking time to look at the bigger picture and realize where exactly you are and how much more you have left to do.

For example, if you’re going to read a book, always start by going through the contents table. Getting familiar with chapter titles and memorizing their total number will make it easier for you to recognize your progress as you read. Confirming how many pages your book has before starting it is also a good idea.

Somehow, it is human nature to always want things to happen in short term or even at once. Even though we split complex tasks into simpler actions, we don’t quite feel the satisfaction until everything is done and the task is fully complete.

For many scenarios though, the task is so vast that such an approach will drain all the motivation out of you long before you have a chance to reach your goal. That’s why it is important to always take small steps and recognize the positive progress made. This is how to keep yourself motivated in the long-term.

4. Reward Yourself

Feeling down about doing something? Dread the idea of working on a particular task? Hate the whole idea of working?

Right from the beginning, agree on some deliverables that will justify yourself getting rewarded. As soon as you get one of the agreed results, take time to reward yourself in some way. This creates external motivators to help you feel motivated in the long run.

For some tasks, just taking a break and relaxing for a few minutes will do. For others, you may want to get a fresh cup of coffee and even treat yourself to dessert.

For even bigger and more demanding tasks, reward yourself by doing something even more enjoyable, like going to see a movie, taking a trip to some place nice, or even buying yourself something.

The more you reward yourself for making progress, the more motivated you will feel about reaching new milestones.

Final Thoughts on Staying Motivated

Happiness doesn’t need to be a vague term or illusion that you’re constantly chasing after with no end in sight. By finding your true motivation, you’ll be one step closer to realizing your happiness and finding meaning in everything you do.

You may have tried many solutions to help you stay motivated and found that none of them really have any impact. That’s because a permanent change requires a holistic approach. It requires more than just focusing on one area of your life or changing just one part of your routine or actions.

You want to make a fundamental change, but it feels like big, unknown territory that you can’t afford to venture into at this point in your life.

The truth is, taking your life to the next stage doesn’t have to be this complicated. So, if you’d like to take the first step to achieving your life purpose, the time to learn how to find motivation is now!  

Achieve your full potential! Book a complimentary coaching session to get the support you need at Business and Life Management Coaching.

Source: LifeHacks 

Are you highly sensitive or an Empath?

Are you impacted by the feelings of those around you? Do people describe you as empathetic? Perhaps you have always had the ability to feel the emotions and physical symptoms of others as if they were your own. If this rings true in your life, you may be an “empath.”

Only a small percentage of the population experience this type of sensitivity, having the ability to feel and absorb the emotions surrounding them. They likely view the world through their emotions and intuition rather than putting too much logic behind their decision making. While this characteristic can be a source of personal strength, it is also important to know how to manage common challenges of being an empath.

What is an Empath?

While there is significant research behind the feeling of empathy, there are very few studies focused primarily on empaths. What is known is that empaths likely have hyper-responsive mirror neurons — the group of brain cells responsible for triggering feelings like compassion — according to research findings. This makes it possible for someone to feel especially sensitive to electromagnetic fields generated by a person’s brain and heart and intuit the emotions felt by those around them. If there is an excited crowd or a group of people in mourning, the energy can be felt deep within an empath’s body.

For those who are more introverted empaths, they may be more sensitive to the brain chemical responsible for feeling pleasure — dopamine. In instances where too much stimulation occurs, an empath can feel overwhelmed. Over time, empaths can become programmed to avoid external stimulation or need very little of it to feel happy. Whether or not a person is introverted, some common side effects of hyper-sensitivity can include exhaustion, overload, depression, and anxiety. Often, when these feelings arise, it’s helpful to have some space to retreat to at home or a favorite outdoor spot you can recharge in.

When overwhelmed with stressful emotions, empaths can experience anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and fatigue and may even show physical symptoms such as an increased heart rate and headache. This is because they internalize the feelings and pain of others without the ability to distinguish it from their own. To help manage these overwhelming moments, it is important for empaths to identify their own thoughts and feelings, as much as possible, and separating them from those of others.

Signs You Are an Empath

1. You are introverted. Often, empaths become overwhelmed when in large groups of people. Rather than feeling positively impacted by those around you, you likely choose to be more introverted and prefer one-to-one and small-group interactions.

2. You are easily impacted by images and movies. Perhaps tears come quickly and easily when you watch a movie, or you may experience the emotion behind the subject of a photograph. In these instances, moments on screen and in print have a big effect on how you feel.

3. You are afraid of getting lost in relationships. Empaths likely have a history of getting completely absorbed by new relationships and are fearful of not having the right kind of boundaries in place. You might feel completely swallowed up and blur the lines between your feelings and those of the person you are in a relationship with.

4. You absorb other people’s emotions. Being in tune with what other people are experiencing, both good and bad, is a sign you are an empath. You may feel ambient emotions around you as if they were your own and become exhausted emotionally and even physically.

5. You are highly intuitive. Are you led by your own gut feelings about people? Empaths often listen to their inner thoughts when it comes to judging people, helping to spot positive relationships that help them feel their best.

Using Your Emotions as a Strength. For the nearly 15 to 20 percent of the population who are classified as “highly sensitive,” they feel more deeply and intensely than those around them. Their brains are processing information and reflecting on it in a powerful, nuanced way. While this behavior can be seen as being too sensitive, caring, or too attentive, these abilities can also be perceived as desirable — being exceptionally perceptive, intuitive, and hyper-observant. The trick is to find a way to manage and channel those (sometimes) uncomfortable emotions.

To guard against unpleasant or overwhelming emotions, empaths can employee different types of strategies to make daily experiences more palatable. Taking a methodological approach to time management, and setting firm boundaries with people who drain your energy, becomes invaluable. Additionally, knowing when meditation and stillness is needed can be an important way to regroup. The key is to find ways to take care of yourself and strategically respond to heightened feelings as they arise.

While more research is needed when it comes to understanding the science behind empaths and the reason why some people absorb feelings more readily than others, there are still ways to identify whether or not you experience empath-like tendencies. By understanding the signs and triggers for empaths, it is easier to leverage these abilities as strengths, while better managing any negative impacts. In any instance, it is important to understand your emotional needs and communicate them to those around you.  Source: Jessica DuBois-Maahs

The best Christmas displays and traditions.

Christmas lights have a history that dates all the way back to the pagan rituals of northern Europe. The custom of the Yule Log, a bonfire of sorts, was first recorded in the 12th century, and is thought to have served representation of hope that the sun would once again shine brightly, ending the darkness of December. Throughout the years, the winter light tradition changed forms from the early Yule Log to candles on the German Christmas tree—perhaps the most flammable iteration—to the LED version of holiday cheer we have today. .If you are traveling and want to check out the holiday lights during the season, here the best Christmas light displays in every state. 

One of the places I love to visit during the holidays in South Florida is Hoffman's Chocolate Winter Wonderland.  Featuring more than 125,000 LED lights, captivating holiday displays, a giant Christmas tree, live entertainment, and photo opportunities with Santa and Mrs. Claus, Winter Wonderland will be open nightly, November 18 through December 30, from 6 p.m. - 10 p.m. and is FREE to the public.

Did you ever wonder what the real reason Christmas lights are green and red? Well now you can read all about the colors of Christmas!

There's far more to Christmas than shopping and wrapping presents to put under the tree. For those who want to get out and explore, there are cities and towns in every state that truly know how to celebrate the season, rolling out over-the-top lighting displays, sleigh rides, holiday concerts, festivals, carolers, boat parades, and more.

If you love parades, then check out where you can go to see the 10 World's Best Christmas Parades.

My favorite Boat Parade in South Florida can be seen up close on my fun YouTube channel. 

The true meaning of Christmas is love so share the festivities, beauty and joy the season brings with family and friends!

We Are Defined By Our Thoughts So Make Them Positive

We often define ourselves by the mental chatter that goes on constantly inside our heads. By our thoughts, we have ideas of who we are and what everything around us means.

And the only way that you can begin to recondition your subconscious mind for success is by detaching yourself from the idea that you are your thoughts.

Feelings of success, mindfulness and happiness come from the realization that thoughts come and go of their own accord—that you are not your thoughts. You can watch as your thoughts appear in your mind, almost from thin air, and watch again as they disappear, like a soap bubble bursting. Your thoughts come and they go, and ultimately, you have a choice about whether to act on them or not.

If you have been operating on autopilot for a while, you’ve probably settled into a nice groove, and it takes some serious effort to change that. It's sort of like how you feel on a cold winter morning, while you're nestled in between your warm sheets, when the thought of getting out of bed is uncomfortable, and when doing so requires motivation and willpower.

But whenever you fully grasp the idea that you are something far greater than your thoughts—beyond words at all—you begin to understand that you have the power to choose which thoughts you will think.

Try it out:
Think of a purple banana... Got it?
Think of a flying elephant... Got it?
Think of a green bicycle... Got it?

You were able to conjure up images of these incredibly silly ideas because you have control over your mind. Your mind will do whatever you tell it to do, so altering your subconscious mind, and therefore your life, is no more difficult a task than telling your mind to do new things—new things, like complete belief in yourself and your abilities, regardless of what anyone else thinks or says.

A simple way to grasp this whole idea is to compare your mind and your thoughts to a computer. Your subconscious mind can be compared to the hard drive, the actual machine itself; your conscious mind can be compared to the programs that are loaded on the machine; and you can be compared to the programmer, who chooses the programs that are installed on the computer.

Your thoughts and beliefs are nothing but programs that are installed on your hard drive, and since they determine the course of your life, it would be wise to install the most beneficial programs you can find. All it takes to reprogram your mind is a sincere desire to do so and an indomitable persistence to stick with it day after day.

When you catch yourself thinking the following negative thoughts, replace them with these positive thoughts.

When you think this… Say this instead…

1. Think about the future! Enjoy the moment you’re in right now. 
2. Don’t do something you’ll regret! In the end, we only regret the things we didn’t get to do. 
3. I wish I hadn’t done that! I can’t change the past—learn and move on. 
4. Will things ever work out? What’s meant to be will happen. 
5. Why did they do that? I can’t control others but I can control how I react to it. 
6. Will I ever find happiness? What can I be happy about right now? 
7. What’s wrong with me? I am perfect exactly the way I am in this moment. 

You can flip it and begin training your thoughts to empowering statements of positivity. Changing the way you think is vital to your success. Negative thinking can stop you before you even get started.

As Wayne Dyer said, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

Source: Success.com

Unlock the Power of Your Mind

When your brain is working at peak performance, it allows you to be your best because it controls the rest. Take care to feed and stimulate your brain and you will expand your mind. The two are inextricably connected. We need to see the human brain and mind with wonder, awe and inspiration.

The brain is the equivalent of a human supercomputer. It is more complicated than any computer mankind has ever made, and maximizing its ability is essential to becoming the success you want to be—because it controls who you are. It is the command center involved in and controlling absolutely everything you do, determining how you think, feel and act.

There are some basic influences on the brain that shape how it functions and how far it develops, including genes, self-talk, life experiences, stress, and study. Although these things influence the brain, they do not determine how far you can go or what you can learn. In other words, you have the incredible opportunity to go as far as you desire.

So with such a tremendous tool at our disposal, what keeps so many people from experiencing the possibilities that it can bring? There are some simple barriers that have the potential to wreak havoc on your learning if you allow them to, but you can overcome them. The key to breaking through these barriers is to do the opposite…

Change your beliefs.
Many people do not believe that they can learn, master knowledge or become "smart." These are deeply held beliefs for many, and ultimately, if we do not believe it, we will not achieve it.

So change your beliefs. It is up to you to do the work of changing your beliefs. And when you do, you will be opening up new worlds—literally! Feed your mind with information that will change your belief. The truth is that you have an amazing mind with a capacity for learning that is beyond your comprehension. You must believe this. And when you do, you will be unlocking the potential of your mind.

Get the right knowledge.
What keeps some people from learning is that they choose not to access or do not have access to knowledge. Knowledge comes from experiences, books, people and other "knowledge dispensers." We must tap into that knowledge.

So get the right knowledge. Words if they are not true are meaningless. I hear children say, "I read it in a book." But is it true? Just because someone says it or writes it, doesn't mean it is true. As a learner, you want to get the right knowledge, not just information or opinions. It is your job to seek out information and knowledge and then test it and run it through your mind to see if it is true, and if it can be rightfully applied to your life in order to make it better and help you succeed. You need to weigh and measure what you learn in order to gain the right knowledge. And when you do, you will be unlocking the potential of your mind.

Become passionate about learning.
Some people simply do not have the desire to learn. They may be lazy, or they may not see the positive impact that learning would have on them. They have no passion inside that drives them to learn.

So become passionate about learning. This will take some work, but the only way to do it is to begin learning about things that have an immediate impact in your life. When you learn about a new financial concept that helps you earn money or get out of debt, that will get you fired up. When you learn about how to interact with your family in a healthy way and your relationships get better, that will inspire you. Become passionate about learning. And when you do, you will be unlocking the potential of your mind.

Discipline yourself through the hard work of study.
Gaining knowledge is hard work and takes a lifetime to master. It is an ongoing discipline that is never complete.

So discipline yourself through the hard work of study. Learning will take work. Until someone comes up with modules that can plug into your mind and give you instant access to knowledge, you are on your own, and that takes work. The process of learning is a long one. Yes, we can speed it up, but it is still a process of reading, listening, reviewing, repetition, applying the knowledge, experiencing the outcomes, readjusting, etc. Simply put, that takes time. Slowly but surely, when you discipline yourself, you gain knowledge and learn. And when you do, you will be unlocking the potential of your mind.

Learning is possible, no matter what your age. You are never too young or too old. Your mind was created to learn and has a huge capacity to do so. This week, make a commitment to unlocking the potential of your mind!

Expand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with tools to help you excel in life. Work with a Business and Life Management Coach to achieve your full potential today! Book a complimentary session at www.denisedema.com

Source: Jim Rohn

Release the Past and Enter a New Year!

Many people have a hard time letting go of the past. They carry it around with them, ruminate about it constantly, and let it have a big impact on how they live their lives in the present moment.

Of course the past will always be something that influences you to some degree. A lot of who you are and what you’ve learned is the culmination of experiences from your personal history. 

However, while the past may influence your future, it doesn’t have to dictate it. And it doesn’t have to be something that always looms over your shoulder wherever you go.

Instead, we can create a space between ourselves and the past that allows us to grow in new ways. We can do this by creating a type of psychological distance, which is the subjective perception of how far away something is from your current reality.

This article covers key guidelines and tools you can use to create more psychological distance between you and your past.

View your past from an outside perspective. One great way to create psychological distance is to imagine yourself looking back at an event from an outside perspective. 

Think of a bad experience that happened to you. Now imagine yourself sitting in a movie theater watching this event on the screen. Play with it – rewind it, fast forward it, watch it in reverse, or watch it at a super slow or super-fast speed.

Imagine yourself eating popcorn while watching it. Laughing at the things you exaggerated at the time, but aren’t so bad looking back. Or just imagine yourself getting up and walking out of the movie theater. The character on the screen isn’t you anymore.

By doing this, you allow yourself to “disassociate” from the experience. You’re watching it from a third-person perspective rather than remembering it from a first-person perspective. This helps make the memory less intense and less associated with your personal identity.

Change your environment. One easy and practical way to create psychological distance is to change your environment.

Start with the place that most reminds you of your past – your bedroom, living room, office, or wherever. Then work on changing it up – putting up new decorations, adding new pictures, moving the furniture, painting the walls a different color, getting a new rug, etc. 

The music you listen to on a daily basis is another part of your environment that you can consider changing. We often associate a particular band, song, or album with a particular “time period” in our life, so seeking new music can create immediate psychological distance. 

Sometimes, even something like moving to a new place can be a useful way to create both physical and psychological distance from your past. In general, however, creating a new environment can be symbolic of opening up a new chapter in your life.

Seek new experiences. Actively seeking new experiences is another great way to create psychological distance. One way we cling to the past is by not trying new things. We’d rather stay in our house, visit the same places, and follow the same routine. This keeps us trapped in the same patterns that remind us of our past.

Instead, go out to new places, make new friends, and be open to new activities. Focus on building new memories for the future, rather than only focusing on the memories you already have. 

Often times the best way to go forward is to keep yourself active. It’s just like needing to date new people before you can get over an ex, or achieving a new goal before you can get over a previous failure. Keep moving.

Remind yourself of things that have changed. Most of the change in our lives is slow and gradual. It’s not until we stop and look back 5-10 years that we notice just how different our lives are today. 

For this reason, I find it very important to remind yourself of things that have changed. This can help create psychological distance, because it makes you more aware of the “distance” you’ve already covered.

Take 5 minutes and just write down 3 significant ways your life has changed in the past 5 years. Think back to how your life was in the past, and how it is now in the present.

People sometimes say, “Don’t think of how far you have to go, but how far you’ve already traveled.” This is a short and sweet way to create more psychological distance between you and your past.

Imagine yourself walking through a mental door. Psychological distance is based on our subjective perception. It’s a distance that is ultimately created in your mind, not the physical world. 

When you want to make a direct change in your mind, it’s often useful to use symbols and metaphors. One symbol for creating psychological distance between you and your past is “walking through a new door.” When you visualize what you are attached to and then walk away from it, you enter through a new door that holds future opportunities. This exercise happens in the first person (you’re looking through your own eyes – this makes it different than the “movie theater” exercise discussed previously.

You can use whatever symbol you want for “future opportunities.” The main idea is to walk through this mental door and toward your future. 

It’s time to take control and focus on what serves your life while leaving behind the things that don’t. Expand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with the tools you need to excel in your life! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years’ experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. Book a free session at www.denisedema.com today.

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