Practice Self-Discipline!

Do you often find yourself procrastinating? Perhaps doing things that you know you shouldn’t be doing? Do you find it hard to stay focused and perform at your peak? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may need to build self-discipline.

Self-discipline is the ability to do what you think you should be doing rather than doing something based on how you feel. For example, you may have an exam taking place tomorrow morning and your mind is telling you that you need to be studying and revising, however you feel exhausted, tired and you want to crash in front of the television.

Self-discipline is closely related to the concept of delayed gratification. By delaying the ‘feel good’ factor now, you can experience an even bigger ‘feel great’ factor at a later point in time. For example, if you did decide to study the night before your exam instead of crashing in front of the television, you may have been more confident in your exam, less anxious and feeling more relaxed and calm. As a result, you may have also experienced a better outcome or better grades. This ultimately leads to more satisfaction.

What are the other benefits of building self-discipline?

• Remain focused on your goals

• Be more productive, more effective and more efficient

• Perform at a higher level

• Develop a stronger mindset

• Get more done!

  So, how can you build your self-discipline?

1. Understand Yourself: First, to build self-discipline you need to understand in what areas of your life are you not being disciplined? Where would you like to be more disciplined? What are the areas that you are struggling with most? What are the 3 areas in your life that you keep putting off, but you know if you were to do them they would make a huge impact? Write them down and also write down why you are currently not doing them. Next to each, write down why you want to do each. Re-frame your situation into a positive and look at the benefits of doing something. This leads into my next point.

2. Focus on the Longer Term: What are your longer-term goals? What are you trying to achieve in your life? Focusing on your longer-term goals helps you to understand the important of why you need to do something now. If you were to take action now, what is the longer-term benefit that you will get later? For example, you may find it hard to get off to the gym or go for a run. If you were to go and do this now, what is the longer-term benefit that you will get? Your health, your fitness, your overall well-being is all dependent upon the action that you take in this moment. Another thing is to ensure you do not procrastinate and say that ‘I’ll start tomorrow’. There is no better day than today to kick start a new habit and change your life. By putting things off, this simply weakens your self-discipline and reinforces negative habits with procrastination.

3. Schedule Your Time: A fantastic tool for building self-discipline is to schedule your time. If you are finding it hard to get started on writing your novel, schedule 30 minutes every day for the next 7 days and stick to the time you dedicated to it. Before you know it, at the end of the week you would have spent 3 and a half hours writing your novel. The key is to stick to the time you have scheduled. Obviously allow for some flexibility as a life that is totally scheduled is just simply no fun. However, if you can’t work for 30 minutes at the scheduled point in time, ensure you do it at an earlier or a later time. If it can’t be done that day, ensure you add an extra 30 minutes to the following day.

4. Get Started: One of the best methods for building self-discipline is to simply get started. Often, the hardest part about doing something that you do not want to do is the fact that you have no momentum. It may seem like a daunting task. Run with the motto of ‘just do it’. Take the first step, simply ‘force’ yourself to take action. It will feel uneasy at first, but once you get the momentum going you will most likely start to feel the flow and build your self-discipline.

5. Reward Yourself: I mentioned above that self-discipline is closely related to delayed gratification. If you do something now, you will get a benefit at a future point in time, particularly if it is helping you reach your longer-term goals. However, you can take this to another level. You don’t have to wait until the very end to be reward and start to feel good. Reward yourself at milestones throughout your project or your take. Perhaps it is that you have not started a project yet. Tell yourself that if you work for one hour on your project you will be rewarded with whatever it is that you want to be rewarded with. Set yourself little rewards throughout your project to help you build your self-discipline. Before you know it, you will no longer need to reward yourself at such small intervals.

6. Get Support from Others: Support from others can be a great thing. I recently read that you are the sum of the 5 closest people to you. That means, if you are surrounding yourself with disciplined people that can encourage you and are supportive of your goals, then you are more likely to succeed in what it is that you are trying to do. Who else is doing what you want to do? Another thing is to take action with someone else. Being held accountable by others will help you to reach your goals.  Perhaps it’s finding a personal coach to guide you, gym partner to work out with, or team member to help you get a project done by a certain date. Being accountable helps build your self-discipline.

Get on the right path to achieve your full potential! Focus on personal development to improve your life. Book a free strategy session at http://www.denisedema.com

Release the Past and Enter a New Year!

Many people have a hard time letting go of the past. They carry it around with them, ruminate about it constantly, and let it have a big impact on how they live their lives in the present moment.

Of course the past will always be something that influences you to some degree. A lot of who you are and what you’ve learned is the culmination of experiences from your personal history. 

However, while the past may influence your future, it doesn’t have to dictate it. And it doesn’t have to be something that always looms over your shoulder wherever you go.

Instead, we can create a space between ourselves and the past that allows us to grow in new ways. We can do this by creating a type of psychological distance, which is the subjective perception of how far away something is from your current reality.

This article covers key guidelines and tools you can use to create more psychological distance between you and your past.

View your past from an outside perspective. One great way to create psychological distance is to imagine yourself looking back at an event from an outside perspective. 

Think of a bad experience that happened to you. Now imagine yourself sitting in a movie theater watching this event on the screen. Play with it – rewind it, fast forward it, watch it in reverse, or watch it at a super slow or super-fast speed.

Imagine yourself eating popcorn while watching it. Laughing at the things you exaggerated at the time, but aren’t so bad looking back. Or just imagine yourself getting up and walking out of the movie theater. The character on the screen isn’t you anymore.

By doing this, you allow yourself to “disassociate” from the experience. You’re watching it from a third-person perspective rather than remembering it from a first-person perspective. This helps make the memory less intense and less associated with your personal identity.

Change your environment. One easy and practical way to create psychological distance is to change your environment.

Start with the place that most reminds you of your past – your bedroom, living room, office, or wherever. Then work on changing it up – putting up new decorations, adding new pictures, moving the furniture, painting the walls a different color, getting a new rug, etc. 

The music you listen to on a daily basis is another part of your environment that you can consider changing. We often associate a particular band, song, or album with a particular “time period” in our life, so seeking new music can create immediate psychological distance. 

Sometimes, even something like moving to a new place can be a useful way to create both physical and psychological distance from your past. In general, however, creating a new environment can be symbolic of opening up a new chapter in your life.

Seek new experiences. Actively seeking new experiences is another great way to create psychological distance. One way we cling to the past is by not trying new things. We’d rather stay in our house, visit the same places, and follow the same routine. This keeps us trapped in the same patterns that remind us of our past.

Instead, go out to new places, make new friends, and be open to new activities. Focus on building new memories for the future, rather than only focusing on the memories you already have. 

Often times the best way to go forward is to keep yourself active. It’s just like needing to date new people before you can get over an ex, or achieving a new goal before you can get over a previous failure. Keep moving.

Remind yourself of things that have changed. Most of the change in our lives is slow and gradual. It’s not until we stop and look back 5-10 years that we notice just how different our lives are today. 

For this reason, I find it very important to remind yourself of things that have changed. This can help create psychological distance, because it makes you more aware of the “distance” you’ve already covered.

Take 5 minutes and just write down 3 significant ways your life has changed in the past 5 years. Think back to how your life was in the past, and how it is now in the present.

People sometimes say, “Don’t think of how far you have to go, but how far you’ve already traveled.” This is a short and sweet way to create more psychological distance between you and your past.

Imagine yourself walking through a mental door. Psychological distance is based on our subjective perception. It’s a distance that is ultimately created in your mind, not the physical world. 

When you want to make a direct change in your mind, it’s often useful to use symbols and metaphors. One symbol for creating psychological distance between you and your past is “walking through a new door.” When you visualize what you are attached to and then walk away from it, you enter through a new door that holds future opportunities. This exercise happens in the first person (you’re looking through your own eyes – this makes it different than the “movie theater” exercise discussed previously.

You can use whatever symbol you want for “future opportunities.” The main idea is to walk through this mental door and toward your future. 

It’s time to take control and focus on what serves your life while leaving behind the things that don’t. Expand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with the tools you need to excel in your life! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years’ experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. Book a free session at www.denisedema.com today.

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Developing Personal Integrity

 

Personal integrity is the quality of being honest with yourself and others, and living a life that is aligned with your moral principles. Developing personal integrity requires examining your beliefs and value system, and taking conscious steps to behave in ways that are consistent with your personal moral code. Here are some ways to develop personal integrity.

•  Identify aspects of your behavior that require change. Reflect on your interactions with others in the workplace, at home and in social situations to determine specific areas in need of improvement. For example, if you are late for work every day and feel guilty about creating excuses for this behavior, this may be an opportunity to develop greater personal integrity. 

• Determine your reasons for not behaving with greater personal integrity. For example, you may be pushing unpleasant work tasks on to other employees instead of being honest with your boss about your inability to do the tasks. You may be afraid to admit to yourself or to your boss that you do not possess the right skills or that the job is not the right fit for you.  

• Face the obstacles that cause you to lie or violate your moral code. This might involve finding a more suitable job, facing your fears about how others may perceive you and/or seeking out counseling to address emotional challenges and insecurities.  

• Practice truthfulness. Consider all of the relationships at home and work that will benefit from greater truthfulness. For example, if managing a team of employees, be honest and direct with each individual about your expectations and employee performance. Avoid backbiting or gossiping. Refrain from causing harm. Part of developing personal integrity is gauging when and how to deliver the truth. Be careful not to confuse truthfulness with anger-driven and brutally honest confrontation.

• Make a list of tasks and behaviors in which you will become more trustworthy. The list might range from basic tasks, such as taking out the trash as promised to repaying large sums of money in a timely manner.  

• Respect the property of others. Consider any complaints you may have received in the past about using another person's belongings, parking in someone else's parking spot or littering on another person's property. Make a concerted effort to respect other people's belongings.  

• Listen to and respect the opinions and decisions of others. Part of possessing personal integrity is acknowledging the human rights of others. Respecting diverse thoughts and decisions is a sign of open-mindedness and integrity.  

• Help others in need. If you are in a position to contribute to the development of others or help them to do something they cannot accomplish on their own, make an effort to assist.  

• Assess your progress. Developing personal integrity is a trial and error process that requires persistent effort. Ask yourself on a daily or weekly basis if you are making progress.  

• Enlist the help of others. Coaches, colleagues, relatives and friends who know you well and have your best interest at heart can assist your progress by providing objective feedback on a daily basis about the personal changes you are making.   

Expand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with the tools you need to excel in your life! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years’ experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. Book a free session at www.denisedema.com today.

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