Overcoming Limiting Beliefs

Self-limiting beliefs are everywhere and a part of all of us, to greater or lesser degree. The keys to overcoming many of these are first recognizing them, then understanding how we got them, and take action to banish them through sustained activity. Start by taking these steps.

“Self-limiting beliefs are everywhere and a part of all of us, to greater or lesser degree,” says Bruce Frankel, author of What Should I Do With the Rest of My Life? “The keys to overcoming many of these are recognizing them, understanding how we got them, and then banishing them through sustained activity.” - See more at: http://www.success.com/article/doubtbusters-erase-self-limiting-beliefs#sthash.gTRnef19.dpuf

“Self-limiting beliefs are everywhere and a part of all of us, to greater or lesser degree,” says Bruce Frankel, author of What Should I Do With the Rest of My Life? “The keys to overcoming many of these are recognizing them, understanding how we got them, and then banishing them through sustained activity.” - See more at: http://www.success.com/article/doubtbusters-erase-self-limiting-beliefs#sthash.gTRnef19.dpuf

Isolate The Belief

First consider what the belief is that is limiting you. Many of us make limiting choices without realizing that they are based on flawed, limiting beliefs.

Find times where you have done something (or not done something) that seemed to limit you in some way. Then ask 'What beliefs led to this choice?' Keep digging, asking 'What belief underlies that belief?' until you come to the limiting belief or beliefs.

Also consider what concerns or frightens you and so limits you. What do you fear? Why? What beliefs lead you to such fears?

Seek The Source

Think back to when you first had the belief. When did you first belief this? What happened for you to believe it?

Were you told to believe it by someone? Was it a parent, teacher, or maybe someone who was not thinking kindly about you.

Was it based on an experience? Did you try something once, failed and then formed the belief that you were incapable? Or that 'other people' think in certain ways?

Recognize The Falsehood

In doing the above steps, you may already realize that the limiting belief is just that: a belief which is both limited and limiting. You are holding it because you were told to or because it helped you once.

Take time to reflect on this and recognize the full extent of the belief, how false it really is and especially how it has limited you in the past. Feel free to get angry about this.

In doing this, you may need to accept that you are not perfect, which can be disconcerting (beware of limiting beliefs here also). You must be open to learning and ready to change.

Form Empowering Beliefs

When you want to change a belief, you may well need an enabling belief which will replace the old one.

Be careful with these, making them realistic and not setting yourself up for disappointment. It can be more effective, for example, to believe that you can do public speaking than to immediately believe you are world-class at it. If you lack a skill that needs to be learned, believing you now have it is likely to lead to problems. It is better to believe you are able to learn (which is one of the most empowering beliefs you can have). Believing 'I can' can be more powerful than thinking 'I am'.

In a similar vein, if you thought you’re not smart enough, notice the different between thinking that as opposed to being intelligent. The trick is to consider where the belief will take you, what will it let you think and do, and what evidence will it create, as in the next step.

Create Evidence of Success

The most powerful and unshakeable beliefs are those that are based on lots of evidence. So now you have recognized and challenged you limiting beliefs and found empowering beliefs, then you need to start creating evidence.

Depending on what it is, you may be more sensible to start small. If you believed that you could not talk with strangers, try starting with simple politeness, saying 'thank you' and 'after you', which immediately show that actually you can talk to strangers. Then build up with brief small-talk, such as about the weather or sports.

When you see a success, no matter how small, use this affirmation. Tell yourself 'I did it!' and reflect on how you are now a changed person, with no way back. When you have done something new, it cannot be undone.

Keep building evidence until the limiting belief seems daft and you are now comfortable in your new belief. Determination and persistence are critical in this. 

Achieve Your Full Potential! Book a complimentary session at Business and Life Management Coaching to get the support you need to excel in your professional and personal life.

Live a Better Life by Aligning Your Values

Integrity is not so much a value in itself; it is rather the value that guarantees all the other values. 

Your core values govern the way you live and the way you respond to life. They govern the way you react to situations that present themselves. Your core values help to guide your decision making. They govern the way you react to your friends and to your non-friends. 

We are in harmony when we act in alignment with our core values. We can consciously act outside of our values. This brings on dissonance because our true values are still there at our core. Your core values act like a compass that sets your direction initially and then keeps you heading in the right direction over time. Your core values represent your authentic self.

If you are not a generally “aware” person, your values can sometimes be more apparent to others than to yourself. If you are more in touch with your values, you can make conscious decisions by applying your values in real time to assess the right course of action. You can pre-judge an appropriate course of action by the way you would feel about the immediate decision itself and about the downstream consequences of the action. 

Living in Congruence with Your Values

According to Stephen Covey: “Personal leadership is the process of keeping your vision and values before you and aligning your life to be congruent with them.” You are in control of your life. Really, you are - although at times, it may not be apparent to you:

• You are in control of your actions
• You are in control of your choices
• You are in control of how long you hold on to your thoughts
• You are in control of your feelings. 

Taking charge of yourself by being accountable and accepting responsibility for your actions are hallmarks of a strong character – and your authentic self. Living your life in alignment with your core values is not always the easy course to follow – many difficult decisions must be made along the way. We can ask ourselves: Will I do the expedient thing or will I do the right thing? You know in your heart that you know the difference. 

When you live according to your core values you are in balance; life moves freely. When you stray from your core values, stress can build beneath the surface. Over time, you can come back into alignment with your core values or you can rationalize your values away. By not following your core values, you can begin to lose your moorings. You can shift your value set point; another weaker value can overtake an existing one if followed repeatedly. 

This can be a slippery slope as one decision eventually leads to another of questionable integrity; this in turn builds on and leads to other decisions which are out of alignment with our core values. Each decision chips away incrementally at our core values. 

Where does it end? It ends when our integrity steps in to re-assert the power to define our core values and behaviors. Our integrity will begin the realignment back to where we started or else to a new core values set point depending upon the transformation process and triggers; the new set point can be either more or less strident than before. Chart and observe this process of alignment with core values in your own life. 

Call to Action

1. Identify five core values that are very important to you.

2. Consider how those values define your character - either who you are or who you want to become.

3. Start making decisions in every area of your life that honors your core values!

4. Look at how you responded the last time your core values were tested? How did you feel after you acted? Where your actions aligned with your values?

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Expand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with the tools you need to excel in your life! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years’ experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. Book a complimentary strategy session at www.denisedema.com today.

When Seeking Employment, Pay Attention to Your Social Media Reputation.

Social media profiles are an increasingly important element of the job search. With over one billion people on Facebook and over half a billion tweets being sent every day and counting, social media plays a role not only in people's personal lives but also in the business world. If you're in the job market, managing your own social media profile is vital since you never know who's checking up on you.

Protect Your Social Media Reputation
Anyone with an Internet connection can see anything you post publicly on social media sites. More than that, they can see anything your friends post publicly. Just assume that hiring managers and job recruiters are taking a look at your Facebook page, LinkedIn profile and Twitter feed, and set your privacy settings accordingly. Delete or make private any embarrassing photos or comments. Be careful about when you post to social media sites, as hiring managers may want to see whether you tend to post during working hours. Don't say anything negative online about prior employers, don't divulge company information and avoid argumentative or vulgar comments. Your social media profile is more than just your nicely formatted resume on LinkedIn – it's actually everything you say on any social media platform, so don't let your Facebook photos or tweets work against you in your job hunt.

Stay Connected and Professional
Given the potential pitfalls, it might be tempting to avoid social media altogether. That's also a mistake, however. In an era where everyone is connected, hiring managers are often a little leery of job candidates who have no social media presence whatsoever. Stays connected, but tailor your social media profile to make yourself look as professional as possible. Keep your LinkedIn account active and updated, and make sure you have a presence on social media sites, forums or message boards specific to your field. Point out career achievements and accomplishments on LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter, and be quick to cheer on your colleagues as well.

Turn the Tables and Do Your Own Research
Job seekers aren't the only ones with social media profiles. Turn the tables on those hiring managers by checking out the companies in which you're interested using their social media profiles. Use Twitter hashtags to get job listings sent straight to your phone, and take advantage of the many features offered by LinkedIn and other business-related sites aimed at job seekers. Pore through the Facebook pages and company blogs of any businesses where you plan to interview, and learn a little about the people you might interview with to help you make a personal connection.

Remember, your social media profile is a representation of who you are in real life. When you're in the middle of a job search, your social media profile can hinder you or help you, depending on how professionally you manage it. Since social media isn't going away any time soon, harness its power and connectivity to help you advance in your career.

Expand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with the tools you need to excel in your life! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years’ experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. Book a free session at www.denisedema.com today.

Important Relationships That Support Your Success

Let me state the obvious.  Success isn’t a solo act.

 

Surrounding yourself with good people and mutual supporters is essential for success. We need the physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual support of others.

The point is simple. The quality of your life will be in direct proportion to the types of relationships you choose to build.

Here are 4 that lead to success.

1.  You need models that inspire you. Models in life help you know where you are going. When we create and build, we are better off if we use a model—whether it’s physical or financial. It’s easier, saves time, shortens the process, and reduces the number of mistakes.

This is also true with “life” models. They help us learn better and at a faster pace than if we were to take the lonely trail called originality. Find someone who is already where you want to be — financially, spiritually, emotionally, vocationally, relationally — and find out how they did it. Sometimes it makes sense to take the road well- traveled.

Models cause us to break through barriers that we thought were impassable. When Roger Banister did the “scientifically” impossible—running the mile under four minutes—within a year, over a dozen others accomplished the same thing. So look at the people who are headed where you are headed and learn from them. Models aren’t perfect, but they are inspirational.

2.  You need coaches that propel you. A coach doesn’t do things for you. They bring out the best in you. The best advice comes from inside you. A coach helps you get rid of the anchors in your life that are dragging bottom so you can go faster, further, with less fatigue. Where do you want to be at the end of the year? Another year gone by, or the best year of your life? They will help you flesh out your intentions, which in turn becomes the rudder that guides you through the year. They help keep you growing and on track. They are committed to your goals. They don’t do the work for you (nobody can), but they help guide your energy.

No matter how successful you become, you will always need coaching. Albert Pujol is a very successful baseball player (now an Angel). Do you think he has a coach? Josh Groban can sing circles around the rest of us. Do you think he has a coach? Come to think of it, all pros have coaches! That’s why they ARE pros! Successful people who are sharpening their skills seek out coaches. It’s about who I am and what I want. A coach keeps me on track with what I value.

3.  You need partners that assist you. You need helpers, coworkers, teammates, and a support group of people who form your network. They are people who share your commitment to a life mission. You were not meant to go through life fulfilling your goals and objectives by yourself.

Benjamin Franklin formed a support group long before it was ever popular. He called it, my most ingenious friends group (I didn’t make that up). They met every Friday night for 40 years. In his 80’s and 90’s he was still accomplishing things, with his greatest inventions coming after the age of 70.

Thomas Edison had a group he called, my mastermind alliance. Within a six year period that group came up with over 300 patented inventions. They were averaging one minor invention every six weeks and one major invention every six months.

You get the point. You might not invent the iPhone, but you will shock yourself with what you can accomplish.

4.  You need friends that support you. Yes, they DO provide emotional support! True friends walk in when others walk out. They don’t abandon you. They stick with you in a crisis. And they also provide intellectual stimulation. Do your closest friends make you think or do they put you to sleep?

“A true friend is one who makes us do what we can do.” Emerson

They stretch us, press us, envelop us, and put the pressure on us to grow. My point is that you will never rise above the level of your closest friends.

“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” 

-Jim Rohn

If those 5 people average a 6 on a scale of 1-10, you will probably not rise above a 6. Who are the empowering people in your life?  Spend more time with them.

Who are the models inspiring you? Can you identify the coaches that are propelling you? Who are the partners assisting you? Are your closest friends causing you to grow or regress?

The quality of your life will be in direct proportion to the types of relationships you choose to build. So choose well.

How do your relationships impact you? Your comments are valued.

Achieve Your Full Potential! Book a complimentary coaching session at http://www.denisedema.com to get the support you need to excel in your professional and personal life.