Showing posts with label blessings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blessings. Show all posts

Kindness is a Virtue

Kindness is a personal quality that enables an individual to be sensitive to the needs of others and to take personal action to meet those needs. It is more than being nice and agreeable. It is a quality of one’s being, not just a matter of a person’s behavior. It is known as a virtue and recognized as a value in many cultures and religions. Research has shown that acts of kindness does not only benefit receivers of the kind act, but also the giver, as a result of the release of neurotransmitters responsible for feelings of contentment and relaxation when such acts are committed.

The Value of Kindness

Kindness is priceless, like other virtues and good gifts. Its blessings last throughout eternity. The model of kindness in a person can make a difference in a family and its ancestors, in a neighborhood, in an office or business, in a town, and in the world. Image what our nation and our world would be like if there were more models of kindness active in our communities rather than models of material success and personal fame.

Examples of Kindness

Truly kind persons are probably not the most famous ones in the world. True kindness is probably best demonstrated quietly without much attention being given to it. Here are some ways to tap into the virtue of Kindness............

 Reach Out to the Homeless
  • Provide aid to a homeless shelter by donating clothes and food. Be part of serving food at a shelter. By taking personal time to serve your fellow man it demonstrates a high level of kindness that pierces the soul of a hurting individual. You can also volunteer at churches and other charities that serve the needs of the homeless.
Extend a Helping Hand to Parents
  • Offer childcare help to parents who have several children. This simple act of kindness will help foster stronger relationships and give a much needed break to a mother or father. Offer to take children of a neighbor to an after school activity, the park or a movie while their parents go out to dinner.The sky is the limit to what you can do to assist a couple that is overwhelmed with little resources.
Be Helpful at Work
  • Being kind to your co-workers doesn't require very much effort at all and can be done in so many ways. Help a colleague who doesn't expect it and carry a box of copier paper or cover someones shift, so they can pick up their child. Get an extra cup of coffee or a snack for a fellow employee. Celebrate their birthday by taking them out to lunch. Cheer up colleagues who may be having a difficult time by writing them an encouraging email or offer support. The key is to make a sacrifice, however small, in order to make a colleague's life a little brighter.
Teach your Children to be Kind.
  • Encourage children to do kind things for other kids at their school. Ask them about children who doesn't have many friends or kids who are picked on by bullies. Share and teach your children to share. Kids can share their snacks, share their lunch table or ask a new person to play at recess. In doing so, they expand their group of friends, make a marginalized child feel better and inspire other kids to do the same. To teach children kindness it must start with you.  Strive to be kind and leave you're kids with a legacy of kindness. 
  • Reach out to persons who are suffering from terminal illnesses. Take stuffed animals to a cancer unit of a local hospital. Visit senior centers, nursing homes and hospice facilities to spend some time with people who are alone. Participate in different marathons, run-walks and other fundraisers that benefit persons who have medical challenges or diseases to raise money.
Improve the Lives of Children Less Fortunate
  • Become a big brother or sister to underprivileged children. Participate in charities that feed hungry children, adopt, donate clothes, provide guidance and education by mentoring a child. Join organizations that provide sports and other activities for inner city kids. Visit hospitals or cancer units and donate toys during the holidays through Toys for Tots.
Preserve the Environment for the Future
  • Demonstrate kindness towards the environment. Do your part in changing regular light bulbs to halogen based light bulbs. Walk to work when possible instead of driving a car to eliminate pollution of the environment. Don't throw anything on the ground or street to keep streets clean and beautified. Use solar and consider buying hybrid cars in the future. Focus your kindness on a massive scale. This doesn't mean you have to do a massively large good deed, it means you should try to perform kindness for the earth. There are countless ways to make our world a better place just a little at a time.
Kindness can be shown in so many ways. Smile and thank people in service jobs, open a door for others, help a person pick up some items that they have dropped, make a personal visit to a friend who is home bound. You can help change a distressed motorist's tire or simply hold the elevator for a stranger. Wave to say 'thank you' when someone lets you in front as you drive, or give up a good parking spot if you see a pregnant mom. Improve your community and volunteer to plant trees in a local park. Serve without expectations. Do at least one extra big kind deed a day. Create a Culture of Kindness.

My Request
If you know a kind person, thank them for this blessing. It will encourage and strengthen them, and you as well. Open your eyes and your heart to others, and their needs will stimulate and nourish the virtue of kindness in your own heart. Selfishness is the great enemy of kindness, so resist it. Give attention to this quality of their being, not just to how well they behave. Strengthen the virtue of kindness in your world, because in its expression you will transform lives. May you receive the help of a kind person when you are in need. Make kindness part of your legacy!

Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years’ experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their personal and professional life. Contact me  to book a free session and start today!

How to Gain Respect and Live Responsibly

Whenever we start a new year we usually go through some review in our mind of the previous year and what we have accomplished or have yet to accomplish in our life. Setting goals, releasing negative feelings, forgiving and striving for some personal growth is always on people’s minds, no matter what they have experienced in life.

Many times, the thought of professional and financial attainment or lack of is what a new year brings, along with all the emotional feelings that follow. When you take the honorable approach throughout your life, it will always result in other gifts coming your way without intentionally seeking them. This is why I encourage people I coach to make the three R’s a reality in their lives. They are: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions. People’s intentions are often not the reality that they live. It’s not because they don’t want to, but because they just don’t have the discipline to be consistent without help from others. To change one's behavior and thought processes can challenge a person’s will. Most people alone are not strong-willed enough to stick with it throughout the time it takes to attain their goal. It’s never too late to start to live your life in a respectful and responsible way, so your daily interactions will be set on a positive path. So let’s start with some of the thoughts and activities that are associated with respect and responsibility.

Respect for Self is a feeling of confidence and pride in one’s owns abilities and worth. Having regard for one's character, and one's conduct with appreciation of one’s self elevates our awareness of who we are. Self- respect is the cornerstone on which many other attributes are built such as dignity, honesty, loyalty, confidence and integrity. Feeling good about yourself, thinking enough of yourself to make decisions that will be good for your long term emotional, physical, spiritual and mental health, will improve your character and self worth. Always surround yourself with people who have your best interests involved, who care about your thoughts and feelings, who share your passions and interests and who live healthy lifestyles. Conduct yourself on a daily basis with a happy heart, engage in physical activities that are health-oriented, be polite and pleasant to others and it will elevate your own self- respect. By walking the walk and talking the talk you can display the respect you have of yourself by honoring your body and mind. The person with self-respect simply likes themselves. It should not be contingent on success or a result of comparing ourselves with others. Self -respect is a given because of who we are and not because of what we can or cannot do. No one can take steps towards their goals, dreams and aspirations without liking the person they currently are.

In general character good or bad, is considered to be observable in one's conduct. Look at how you act each day, what you do to honor yourself and how you display those qualities that show self-respect. Those with self-respect are less prone to blame others, have guilt, live with regret, lie, have secrets and stress. Ask yourself if you display any of these traits and start to acknowledge why you feel this way. Be thankful on a daily basis for the blessings you have now and at the same time examine the beliefs, biases, assumptions, and myths inherited from family, school, religion, and society. One by one, dismantle and discard those not in keeping with healthy, honorable and virtuous living, and cherish those that are. Part of our personal development is the view we have of our self, and respecting yourself will play a big role in your chosen path in life. Have fun as you develop friendships, interests, purposes and passions. Enjoy the journey of learning to respect yourself as a unique individual who has something to offer in this world. When you act with integrity, your words and actions will match, which gives you self respect and a peaceful heart. Respect for ourselves feeds our respect for others.

“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners”. –Laurence Sterne

Respect for Others is to have unbiased consideration and regard for the rights, values, beliefs and property of all people. To hold in special regard someone's opinions, talents and/or abilities, reflects your own values and standards. It also shares what you believe in, and in part, what you see or would like to see in yourself. By respecting others, you show the attitude of friendliness and comfort towards them. Listening to other people’s thoughts, feelings and desires without judgment, allows you to respect them for who they are, and not what you want them to be. Very often, we impose our own ideas on others without being able to respect other people's inherent differences. Everyone you encounter has a unique moral fiber that has created who they are and how they think. Being able to allow others to express themselves in their own way will open your mind to different theories and information that might not be part of your mindset. Respecting other people in your personal and professional environments will encourage the same respect be given to you, in return. We show respect by speaking and acting with courtesy. Always treat people the way you would want to be treated: with civility and dignity. Ask yourself if at any time during your day: Did my verbiage or actions ridicule, embarrass or hurt other people? Become aware of how you treat people, so you can improve your behavior. Being fair minded, truthful and polite will reflect the virtues of respect and bring back to you the same positive energy that you put out to others.

“Every human being, of whatever origin, of whatever station, deserves respect. We must each respect others even as we respect ourselves”. -Ulysses S. Grant

Responsibility means to accept accountability for your actions. When you make a mistake, you accept it, correct it, and offer amends, instead of making excuses. Responsibility is the ability to respond and make smart choices for yourself. Being responsible for your actions allows you to accept that everything along the way that happens to you, good and bad, has been determined by the choices you have made. You are in control of those decisions and blaming others for your situation is avoiding your responsibility. You can pretty much choose almost everything in your life; your career, your spouse, where you live, who your friends are, your social activities with the one exception of the parents you were born to. You need to make sure that you acknowledge the responsibility that follows those decisions because they are your own and not anyone else’s. Personal growth develops when we are accountable because we accept the choices that we made and learn and grow from them.

People who take complete responsibility for their lives experience inner joy and control of circumstances. They are able to make better choices because they understand that they are responsible for those decisions. Take a review of yourself to see how often you take responsibility or place blame on others. Listen to your verbiage to see if you often point fingers of blame at your friends, spouse, co workers and family. Are you making excuses and shifting responsibility to others for the things that don’t always go right? How many times have you said: "He/she did this to me?" You can change these negative behavior patterns by first understanding that you made choices that ultimately created these results. Taking responsibility is the first step in acknowledging that you have the control to make better choices in the future. Become proactive, not reactive, to your situations and be accountable. Acknowledge that your life is your responsibility. No one can live your life for you. You are in charge. No matter how hard you try to blame others for the events of your life, each event is the result of choices you made and are making. By breaking the blame-game patterns in your life and accepting responsibility, you will see your circumstances change for the better.

“The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs” –Joan Didion

When you put into practice the three R’s on a daily basis you will start to see your life change with positive experiences. Lessons are learned and spiritual growth becomes prevalent. Don’t allow the past to dictate the present, unless it honors you and your life. Start to modify your behavior to reflect actions that display respect for yourself, respect for others and take responsibility for all your actions. It’s never too late to get support so you can be on a better path in your life. You do have the power to change your circumstances and the change starts the day you commit to live an honorable life.

Denise Dema is a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years experience empowering individuals, entrepreneurs and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. To learn more about the author and her practice please visit