For many of us, it can be hard to
properly express our emotions. We tend to either keep our emotions bottled up
and not show them to anyone, or they overflow and spill out in unhealthy and
unexpected ways.
In our society, emotions are often
seen as a sign of weakness. They are viewed as the opposite of “rationality”
and “intelligence,” and this stigma is part of what makes it difficult for
people to express their emotional self. We don’t want to be seen as weak.
However, emotions play a huge role
in how we understand the world and communicate to others. It is therefore very
important that we learn how to connect more with our emotional self.
Be aware of signs of emotional repression.
The first step in connecting more
with your emotional self is to be aware of signs of emotional repression. One common sign that you are
repressing your emotions is that your emotions often erupt unexpectedly. For
example, you spend a long time not telling someone about this little thing that
bothers you, and then one day you just explode at them. When you don’t allow yourself to
express or release emotions in a healthy way, they can build up to a point
where you can no longer control them.
Other signs of repressing your
emotions include lots of stress, anxiety, fatigue, and even insomnia. Keeping
emotions bottled up is draining on your body. When you try to keep your
emotions all to yourself, you often feel physically worse.
Ask yourself how you feel everyday.
One simple way to connect more with
your emotional self is to give time to ask yourself how you feel every day. Just spending 5-10 minutes sitting
down and questioning your feelings, can make a big difference in how well connected you are to
your emotional self. We often see our emotions as part of
the “background” of everyday life – so taking just a bit of time and making
them your main focus can be a very healthy and refreshing thing to do. And if you practice meditation, consider
spending a whole session just using your emotions as the object of focus.
Don’t try to rationalize away every emotion.
Often times people who aren’t
connected with their emotional self feel a constant need to “rationalize” their
emotions. They can’t just “feel” for the sake
of “feeling.” There needs to be a reason, a purpose, or an explanation behind
every feeling they ever have. While it can be useful to analyze
our emotions sometimes, it’s also nice to just let yourself experience an
emotion without needing to find some underlying reason behind it. Not every emotion is going to be
explainable. In fact, often times emotions express a special kind of
“knowledge” about ourselves and our world that can’t be translated verbally. You need to sometimes accept
emotions as a language of their own.
Talk to other people about how you feel
Emotions can be difficult to share
with others, but they are still good to talk about on a regular basis.
Talking more about your feelings
allows you to be honest about your emotional self, and gives others the
opportunity to offer insight that you may have not considered. Many emotions are emotions driven by
our relationships with other people – social emotions – like love,
anger, disappointment, shame, embarrassment, guilt, and pride. By openly sharing our feelings with
others, we fulfill our emotional expression at a much needed social level.
Find ways to express emotions creatively.
Talking with others is one way to
express your emotions, but another healthy alternative is to find creative
outlets. This can include any activities such
as music, writing, photography, painting, film-making, dancing, or whatever you
are passionate about. Often times art gives you a way to
communicate your feelings in a way other than just words. It allows you to
connect more with the physical and visceral experience of your emotional
self. Having creative outlets also gives
you a chance to digest your emotions at a unique and personal level that can’t
usually be achieved through only introspection and conversation.
Use movies, TV, books, and music that elicits strong emotions.
Another great tool in helping you
connect more with your emotional self is to watch movies or TV, read a book, or
listen to music that elicits strong emotions. Often times consuming movies, TV,
books, and music can give us an emotional experience that we don’t always have
in our “real world” lives. For example, a movie can take you into the life of a
character who lives a vastly different life than you – and goes through
struggles that are different than your own. In this way, these forms of
entertainment can broaden our emotional flexibility – they give us a chance to
experience a more “full range of human emotions” that isn’t always available to
us. Horror movies give us a chance to
experience terror and fear. Romance novels give us a chance to experience lust
and love. And dramas give us a chance to experience sadness and grief. All of
these provide a safe and healthy way to tap into different emotions.
Becoming self-aware of your emotions and the importance of actively expressing those emotions will allow the body and the mind to regulate itself towards a healthy, balanced existence. Achieve your full potential! Book a complimentary session at Business and Life Management Coaching to get the support you need to excel in your professional and personal life!
