Showing posts with label self awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self awareness. Show all posts

Are you connected to your emotional self?

For many of us, it can be hard to properly express our emotions. We tend to either keep our emotions bottled up and not show them to anyone, or they overflow and spill out in unhealthy and unexpected ways.

In our society, emotions are often seen as a sign of weakness. They are viewed as the opposite of “rationality” and “intelligence,” and this stigma is part of what makes it difficult for people to express their emotional self. We don’t want to be seen as weak.

However, emotions play a huge role in how we understand the world and communicate to others. It is therefore very important that we learn how to connect more with our emotional self.

Be aware of signs of emotional repression.

The first step in connecting more with your emotional self is to be aware of signs of emotional repression. One common sign that you are repressing your emotions is that your emotions often erupt unexpectedly. For example, you spend a long time not telling someone about this little thing that bothers you, and then one day you just explode at them. When you don’t allow yourself to express or release emotions in a healthy way, they can build up to a point where you can no longer control them.

Other signs of repressing your emotions include lots of stress, anxiety, fatigue, and even insomnia. Keeping emotions bottled up is draining on your body. When you try to keep your emotions all to yourself, you often feel physically worse.

Ask yourself how you feel everyday.

One simple way to connect more with your emotional self is to give time to ask yourself how you feel every day. Just spending 5-10 minutes sitting down and questioning your feelings, can make a big difference in how well connected you are to your emotional self. We often see our emotions as part of the “background” of everyday life – so taking just a bit of time and making them your main focus can be a very healthy and refreshing thing to do. And if you practice meditation, consider spending a whole session just using your emotions as the object of focus.

Don’t try to rationalize away every emotion.

Often times people who aren’t connected with their emotional self feel a constant need to “rationalize” their emotions. They can’t just “feel” for the sake of “feeling.” There needs to be a reason, a purpose, or an explanation behind every feeling they ever have. While it can be useful to analyze our emotions sometimes, it’s also nice to just let yourself experience an emotion without needing to find some underlying reason behind it. Not every emotion is going to be explainable. In fact, often times emotions express a special kind of “knowledge” about ourselves and our world that can’t be translated verbally. You need to sometimes accept emotions as a language of their own.

Talk to other people about how you feel

Emotions can be difficult to share with others, but they are still good to talk about on a regular basis.

Talking more about your feelings allows you to be honest about your emotional self, and gives others the opportunity to offer insight that you may have not considered. Many emotions are emotions driven by our relationships with other people – social emotions – like love, anger, disappointment, shame, embarrassment, guilt, and pride. By openly sharing our feelings with others, we fulfill our emotional expression at a much needed social level.

Find ways to express emotions creatively.

Talking with others is one way to express your emotions, but another healthy alternative is to find creative outlets. This can include any activities such as music, writing, photography, painting, film-making, dancing, or whatever you are passionate about. Often times art gives you a way to communicate your feelings in a way other than just words. It allows you to connect more with the physical and visceral experience of your emotional self. Having creative outlets also gives you a chance to digest your emotions at a unique and personal level that can’t usually be achieved through only introspection and conversation.

Use movies, TV, books, and music that elicits strong emotions.

Another great tool in helping you connect more with your emotional self is to watch movies or TV, read a book, or listen to music that elicits strong emotions. Often times consuming movies, TV, books, and music can give us an emotional experience that we don’t always have in our “real world” lives. For example, a movie can take you into the life of a character who lives a vastly different life than you – and goes through struggles that are different than your own. In this way, these forms of entertainment can broaden our emotional flexibility – they give us a chance to experience a more “full range of human emotions” that isn’t always available to us. Horror movies give us a chance to experience terror and fear. Romance novels give us a chance to experience lust and love. And dramas give us a chance to experience sadness and grief. All of these provide a safe and healthy way to tap into different emotions.

Becoming self-aware of your emotions and the importance of actively expressing those emotions will allow the body and the mind to regulate itself towards a healthy, balanced existence. Achieve your full potential! Book a complimentary session at Business and Life Management Coaching to get the support you need to excel in your professional and personal life!

The Future…. YOU

How often do you think about your future self? It could make all the difference in how happy and successful you are later in life.

You see, one of the biggest factors in making smart decisions is knowing when to pay short-term costs for long-term benefits. It’s about keeping the future in mind.

But for many, especially in our fast-paced world, there is a tendency for “instant gratification.” We want things now, not later – even if that means rejecting a much bigger reward in the future.

If you don’t think about your future self, and only consider your needs and wants in the present moment, then that can often lead to a lot of impulsive decisions that later come back to bite you.

True intelligence requires that we act with a long-term mindset. We need to pay attention to how what we do today is going to ultimately influence where we are tomorrow. Sometimes it is more important to hold off on something now, so that we have even more to gain in the future.

If you consider your wants and needs in the future, you’re going to act differently today than you would if you completely ignored your future. Individuals are more likely to make these future-oriented decisions when they feel more powerful and in control over their lives. Perhaps, too many people underestimate the influence they have over their future, so they begin to neglect it entirely.

It’s easy to see how our actions influence the present. We do something and we get an immediate reaction. But it’s a lot harder to imagine how these actions influence our future self, months, years and decades down the road. The successful person is strongly connected to their “future self.” They see where they want to be and how they can start moving in that direction today.

Many people underestimate how much their lives will change in the future. But think of it this way:

Take a moment to look back at your life 5, 10, or 20 years ago. That “past self” probably seems quite different from your “present self.” In the same way, if you look ahead toward your life 5, 10, or 20 years, your “future self” is likely to be just as different. We’re constantly growing and changing.

Now that you know the importance of your future self, what are some useful ways you can start better connecting with your future self?

Here are a few exercises to try:

  • Take 5 minutes and ask yourself, “How are my actions today influencing where I will be in the future?” Try to have a long-term mindset and see the bigger picture behind your daily habits.
  • Write a letter from your “future self” to your “present self.” What kind of advice might they give to you? What insights could you potentially learn from them?
  •  Imagine what your life may be like in 5 years. Then 10 years. Then 20 years. What are some possible paths that you might travel down?

The main lesson: thinking about your future self is going to have a positive influence on the actions of your present self.

Of course, this doesn’t mean we should always be thinking about the future. We have to give ourselves permission to enjoy the present too. Our “present self” and “future self” need to be balanced in a healthy way. That balance is critical to our inner peace and happiness.

Have you been thinking about your future self lately? If not, make sure you try out the exercises above and see how they work for you.

Get on the right path to achieve your full potential! Focus on personal development to improve your life. Book a free strategy session at today! 

source: The Emotion Machine

Developing Resilience

The importance of being a resilient person plays a hand in everything you do. Even if you're not a naturally resilient person, you can learn to develop a resilient mindset and attitude to improve your life. Start focusing on incorporating the following into your daily life.

1. Get enough sleep and exercise, and learn to manage stress. When you take care of your mind and body, you're better able to cope effectively with challenges in your life.

2. Practice thought awareness. Resilient people don't let negative thoughts derail their efforts. Instead, they consistently practice positive thinking. Also, "listen" to how you talk to yourself when something goes wrong - if you find yourself making statements that are permanent, pervasive or personalized, correct these thoughts in your mind.

3. Restructure the way that you think about negative situations and bad events. This will help turn your mood around, so that you can approach situations in a positive frame of mind.

4. Learn from your mistakes and failures. Every mistake has the power to teach you something important; so don't stop searching until you've found the lesson in every situation. Also, make sure that you understand the idea of "post-traumatic growth" - there can be real truth in the saying that "if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger."

5. Choose your response. Remember, we all experience bad days and we all go through our share of crises. But we have a choice in how we respond; we can choose to react negatively or in a panic, or we can choose to remain calm and logical to find a solution. Your reaction is always up to you and it will determine how others respond to you as well.

6. Maintain perspective. Resilient people understand that, although a situation or crisis may seem overwhelming in the moment, it may not make that much of an impact over the long-term. Try to avoid blowing events out of proportion.

7. If you don't already, learn to set SMART, effective personal goals – it's incredibly important to set and achieve goals, and to learn from your experiences.

8. Build your self confidence. Remember, resilient people are confident that they're going to succeed eventually, despite the setbacks or stresses that they might be facing. This belief in themselves also enables them to take risks: when you develop confidence and a strong sense of self, you have the strength to keep moving forward, and to take the risks you need to get ahead.

9. Develop strong relationships with your colleagues. People who have strong connections at work are more resistant to stress, and they're happier in their role. This also goes for your personal life: the more real friendships you develop, the more resilient you're going to be, because you have a strong support network to fall back on. (Remember that treating people with compassion and empathy is very important here.)

10. Focus on being flexible. Resilient people understand that things change, and that carefully-made plans may, occasionally, need to be amended or scrapped.


You can develop resilience in several ways. First, take care to exercise regularly and get enough sleep, so that you can control stress more easily. The stronger you feel physically and emotionally, the easier it is for you to overcome challenges.

Focus on thinking positively, and try to learn from the mistakes you make. Build strong relationships with colleagues and friends, so that you have a support network to fall back on. Also, set specific and achievable personal goals, and work on building your self-confidence.

Achieve your full potential and work with a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 year’s experience empowering individuals, executives and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. Book a complimentary session at  to get the tools you need to excel in life.

Change Your Focus to the Positive!

The Law of Attraction states that what we focus on becomes our reality so it is very important to be aware of our thoughts. If we continually think about negative or the bad things in our lives then we will attract even more negativity. On the other hand if we focus on the positive we will be more likely to attract the positive. So the key is focus.

People who wish to make changes in their lives tend to do so because they are experiencing pain or bad feelings. This pain can actually lead to positive improvements, but in order to do so the focus must not be on the negative but instead on the positive outcome that is expected.
Remember that what you focus on becomes your reality. Focus on the positive.
Simple Focus Exercise:

1. Write down one of your negative thoughts. (I am not happy at work.)
2. Cross it out.
3. Find something positive about it and write that down.(I am respected and well paid) 
4. Spend some time focusing only on the positive aspect of that new thought.
5. When you feel that negative thought come up again just cross it out in your mind and replace it with the positive one.
Apply this exercise to all negative thoughts throughout your day. Express your mental power and before long you will be able to focus your attention on the positive things in your life and experience personal growth.
Get the tools you need to excel in your personal and professional life. Denise’s passion for personal development is at the core of her business and life philosophy and is committed to helping others achieve their full potential in order to live richer, more fulfilling lives. Book a complimentary session at to get started in reaching your goals today! On-site, phone and e-mail coaching available.

The Art of Conscious Living.....

The benefits of self-awareness lend itself into every aspect of your life. The more you are aware of yourself and others around you, the more choices are available to you that allow you to make better decisions on a daily basis. When you are consciously living, you are present in each moment and experience all that is before you.

It is easy to fall into habitual patterns that take you out of the moment. You often will do and see things that are already part of your internal process and lose the ability to be objective. Because life’s conditioning starts very early, your reactions and thoughts become preprogrammed and you tend to be more reactive to daily happenings than proactive toward what serves your life better.
To see things more clearly, take a moment and divide in yourself the mechanical from the conscious; see how little there is of the conscious, how seldom it works, and how strong the mechanical is - mechanical attitudes, mechanical intentions, mechanical thoughts, mechanical desires and actions.  

Change can only be addressed when you become aware and realize how programed your life really is. Continuing in this manor is either because you are not aware of choosing conscious living or because you are afraid to live consciously due to the changes that might happen in your life if you did.
Once you identify your automatic behaviors and responses that are triggered without your will, you can leave the ones intact that serve you and work on the behaviors that are unhealthy so you can break free from the auto pilot mode you have been living with for years.

It is important to take the first step to change your mechanical behaviors which have created your daily circumstances and learn to live consciously by making choices that better serve your life. You have the power to change and today can be the start.
Get the tools you need to excel in your life by working with Denise Dema, a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years’ experience empowering individuals, executives and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. Denise’s passion for personal development is at the core of her business and life philosophy and is committed to helping others achieve their full potential in order to live richer, more fulfilling lives. Book a complimentary session at  to get started in reaching your goals today! On-site, phone and e-mail coaching available.

Walking Your Way to Inner Peace

We all strive to live with inner peace, embracing a calm mindset throughout each day. Once we have the condition of peace in us, we can afford to be in any situation. Even in times when extreme challenges invade our life, we are able to contribute our peace and serenity to the situation.

Sometimes that sense of peace disappears because something enters our mind and our thoughts and feelings start to weigh heavy, creating anxiety, expectation and stress. Becoming overwhelmed by this can take us into a non-productive state, both physically and mentally. Just spending time to quiet our mind again, reconnecting with our inner peace, will put us back on the right path. One way to do this is to take a special kind of walk designed to help the journey, called a “Labyrinth Walk.”

What is a Labyrinth?

Labyrinth is a metaphor for our own spiritual path, and it touches our joys and sorrows, our memories and present issues. It is a safe place to simply experience ‘being.’ The Labyrinth is an ancient sacred walking path, and its pattern and derivatives were placed in Gothic cathedrals in France in the 13th century. In the past decade, it has been reintroduced to the United States as a tool to connect with the Divine Spirit. The path, having historical significance in its geometric and numerical design, is one winding continuous flow to the center and back that can be imprinted on portable canvas, permanent stone flooring, or part of a garden landscape. Labyrinth design offers a way of finding peace and clarity through movement. It has a singular, well-defined path that leads to the center and back out again. Many use this space for prayer, meditation, and introspection, nourishing their connectedness to self and spiritual renewal. Any insight or transformations are possible in this sacred space if the walker can let go of ‘expectation’ and simply experience its treasures.

Walking a Labyrinth
People of all faiths have found peace through labyrinth walking because they are considered non-denominational. The labyrinth has only one path to the center. There are no dead ends or wrong turns. Everything on the path is a metaphor for life’s journey. It symbolizes the path to be followed, in daily and seasonal cycles, in life, death and in rebirth.

There are three stages of the walk:

Purgation (Releasing) ~ As you start the walk you are releasing, a letting go of the details of your life. This is the act of shedding thoughts and distractions and a time to open the heart and quiet the mind.

Illumination (Receiving) ~ When you reach the center, stand, sit or lie down and stay there as long as you like. It is a place of meditation, reflection and prayer. Receive what is there for you to receive.

Union (Returning) ~ As you leave, following the same path out of the center as you came in, you enter the third stage, which is symbolic of joining the healing forces at work in the world and symbolic of how you walk in your life with what you have received. Each time you walk the labyrinth, you become more empowered to find and do the work you feel your soul reaching for.


A labyrinth presents an opportunity for thought, peace and awareness. Because there are no decisions to be made, the walker can let go of the outside world and worries while following the path, circling toward the center. A labyrinth can be a transformational tool that creates a mind-body-spirit connection and a feeling of wholeness. Many people find labyrinth walking to be a calming, centering experience which embraces peaceful reflection. Some people find themselves overcome with powerful emotions as they journey inward. People often respond to the labyrinth without actually knowing why. They simply like how they feel in its embrace. It gives people a chance to charge their batteries again before going back into the fray.

In general, labyrinth walking is used to promote relaxation and relieve stress. Anyone looking for some peace and quiet can benefit from taking the journey to the center of a labyrinth. It has come to represent the inner pilgrimage we make to the center of our being. Walking the labyrinth is not about escaping into the center and leaving the world, it is about experiencing the spirit in the center so that you can live in the world in a more blessed way.

Most of all, labyrinths have healing qualities on many levels, emotional, psychological, physical, spiritual. This comes at a time when we greatly need healing. Healing must be an inside job, which is exactly how labyrinths function. Labyrinths are undergoing a great revival because at times of spiritual crisis they help restore the balance and the inner awareness that the world lacks. We, too, are the world, so eventually; the world itself changes as a reflection of our personal change.

Labyrinths have a long association as elements in gardens and other places of a spiritual, religious or medicinal nature precisely because the point of a labyrinth is to help the person who chooses to walk it with intention to find mental and emotional peace and in turn to carry that peace out into the world.

Labyrinths are more common in the modern world than you might think. Many people have built private labyrinths on their own property so they can walk at their leisure to feel the peaceful affects it brings to their life, but there are many beautiful public places to start your walk as well. There are thousands of permanent labyrinths in use today in the United States alone and can be found in many churches, parks, hospitals, colleges, gardens, community centers, retreat centers and even airports.

The Worldwide Labyrinth Locator provides a directory of labyrinths throughout the world. See if you can find one close to your work or home and start “Walking Your Way to Inner Peace!”

Expand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with the tools you need to excel in your life! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years experience, empowering people to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. Book a free session at to start your journey to fully experience the richness of any given moment.

Stop Over Analyzing and Live Life!

Sometimes we often contemplate life from every angle. We weigh the pros and cons of every endeavor, every relationship to ensure we don’t take one false step. Unfortunately most of the time they do not protect us from mistakes, nor do they protect us from the very things we are looking to avoid.

Over analyzing life is the major cause of procrastination, and insidious thought. The more you think, the more you conjure up thoughts of how the world is out to get you or that you aren’t capable of attaining whatever goals you desire. We sabotage ourselves. Others don’t sabotage us unless we let them. But more often we do it to ourselves. Over and over until it becomes a part of our psyche and we have to self reprogram our minds into a healthy disposition.

We must rid our thoughts of self defeating feelings. Whether you feel you’re not good enough to date a particular person, or that you’re unqualified for a particular job, you are entitled to anything you want just as anyone else is. No one can make you believe it but you. Just as one obsesses about how they aren’t capable, one can choose to think that they are. It’s the choices they make that determine the happiness of their life. Not circumstances.

Choice is the key word in all of this. It’s what one chooses to think about. For many they consume their minds with needless, irrelevant processes that sap their energy or forms negative energy that they in turn… attract. We are what we attract and attracting these negative forces in our life is our own doing. We have the power to change it. But often many people over analyze themselves into negative dispositions that consume their thoughts, until they manifest it themselves in life.

Life is meant to be lived. The greatest people the world has ever known became great by making things happen and not merely thinking about them and every pitfall that may arrive along the way. You owe it to yourself to be the best person you can be and that starts in your head.  It’s unnatural to be positive every second of the day, but we can choose how we digest and manifest information. How we cope with the information we’re given is a reflection of how we think about ourselves. Many things you will analyze will never materialize, because they are figments of your imagination.

You cannot assume what people are thinking. You cannot assume what people will do. You cannot assume that someone is thinking of you when you are, or in the way you are. It’s a ridiculous process that only feeds fear and uncertainty. Focus on you, and what you’re doing, and don’t make judgments on the hypothetical.

Over analyzing can cripple you to non action. Free your mind of these negative thoughts and bathe in the glorious ether of self awareness and confidence. The more you do the more you’ll be focused on things that will make you happy, and less on those negatives you attract.

Learn to stop over analyzing and embrace the life you were meant to live! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach that specializes in human development and personal effectiveness for individuals and professionals. Book a complimentary session today!