Replace Negative Thoughts With Positive Thinking

Positive and negative thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies: What we expect can often come true.  

If you start off thinking you will mess up a task, the chances are that you will: You may not try hard enough to succeed, you won't attract support from other people, and you may not perceive any results as good enough. Positive thinking, on the other hand, is often associated with positive actions and outcomes. You're drawn to, and you focus on, the positive aspects of a situation. You have hope and faith in yourself and others, and you work and invest hard to prove that your optimism is warranted. You'll enthuse others, and they may well "pitch in" to help you. This makes constructive outcomes all the more likely.  When it comes down to it, positive, optimistic people are happier and healthier, and enjoy more success than those who think negatively. The key difference between them is how they think about and interpret the events in their life.

So, how do you think about your successes and failures? Do you think you have a predictable thinking pattern?

The first step in changing negative thinking is to become aware of it. For many of us, negative thinking is a bad habit – and we may not even know we're doing it! 

Consider these examples of negative thought patterns: The guy on the subway who just made a face is surely directing his behavior at you. When the receptionist doesn't greet you in the morning, you must have done something to anger her. again! You go straight to the coffee machine, because it's Monday morning and you just know you'll be solving problems until lunchtime. When you finally get to your desk, your assistant is waiting for you. "Oh no," you think. "What has he done now? The first problem of the day.”

Imagine how it makes you feel to constantly surround yourself with negativity. Then ask yourself if this is the way you tend to think in your own life? Dr Martin Seligman, who has been described as America's most influential psychologist, has done extensive research on thought patterns. In particular, he looks at the impact of an optimistic versus pessimistic outlook on life and success. He uses three basic dimensions of Permanence, Pervasiveness and Personalization, with optimistic people on one end of the scale and pessimistic people on the other.

Permanence

Believing that something we are experiencing is either permanent or temporary. The pessimist statement implies that you think bad times will carry on forever. 

Pessimist: I lost my job and I'll never find one as good again. No point even looking!

Optimist: I lost my job. Thank goodness there are other opportunities I can explore!

Pervasiveness

Believing that situational factors cause an effect or that the effect is evidence of more universal factors at work. The pessimist statement shows that you tend to think that if you've experienced a problem in one place, you'll experience that problem wherever you go.

Pessimist: I lost my job. Companies are all the same; all they care about is money. I don't know why I bother putting in any effort at all.

Optimist: I lost my job. It's too bad our company has to reinvent itself to stay competitive. Thankfully I learned some great transferable skills!

Personalization

Believing that something about you influenced the outcome or that something external to you caused it.  The pessimist tends to blame himself for bad things, rather than attributing the cause to more general factors. 

Pessimist: I lost my job. If I had been a decent employee they would have found a new job for me.

Optimist: I lost my job. I gave it my all, however they just can't use my skill set right now.

Re-shape Your Thinking

The way you view what happens around you can show whether you have a positive or negative pattern of thinking when you become more aware of your thoughts - and the effect they have on your life. 

When you're more aware of the way you think, you can take action to use positive situations to your advantage, and re-shape the negative ones. The goal is to think positively, regardless of the situation, and make a conscious effort to see opportunities instead of obstacles.

So if we look at one of the examples listed above, if you immediately think the receptionist is mad at you because she didn't say hello, how rational is that? Now change that thought to more rational outcomes like, she have been busy or distracted when you walked by or did you say hello to her? Maybe she wasn't feeling well, or she was in a negative mood herself. These are all more rational reasons for her behavior than simply assuming that you did something wrong.  Persistent negative thinking can cause mental health problems, including depression. While these positive thinking techniques have been shown to have a positive effect, they are for guidance only, and readers should take the advice of suitably qualified health professionals if they are experiencing persistent unhappiness.

Key Points

Becoming more positive is always a good thing. The more aware you are of your thoughts, the better you'll be able to change them to emphasize the positive.  Positive thinking usually attracts positive people, events, and outcomes. If you want to create an environment where you're successful and satisfied, you'll need the power of positive thinking on your side.  You may not be aware of all of your negative thoughts and the effect they have on your life, however, by taking some time to understand your own thought patterns, you can challenge those irrational, negative thoughts – and replace them with more positive, optimistic and empowering messages.

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." - Buddha

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Learn The Skills Of Highly Effective Job Seekers.

Never stop and never quit; that’s the motto of a job seeker who will never give up until he gets what he wants. A true go-getter does not get discouraged when he hits a stumbling block. Instead he views this as a challenge and is all the more inspired to do better. If you are constantly motivated, you will eventually realize that even in a down market, job seekers are not that powerless or without any alternatives. In fact, you have more control over your career circumstances than you allow yourself to think.

The following are strategies that consistently generate strong results for job seekers:

1. Be patient and remain positive.

A lot of job seekers tend to have a short fuse especially when they feel that time is running out. The longer you're looking for a job, the more frustrated you become. To remain productive, pursue a handful of target companies on your list. If one opportunity doesn't work out, you've still got others to look forward to. Another strategy is to be persistent in calling hiring managers for a follow-up, after you've submitted your resume or have been to an interview. Let them know that you are interested, but avoid being rude and impatient. Calling them once or twice every day will not get you any favors. Remember that the hiring process is usually extensive, and companies are just being careful in making their decision. Explore a lot of your prospects and always strive to keep an optimistic point of view.

2. Don't underestimate the power of first impressions.

As you continue applying for positions in various companies, take care of how you interact with others. Attempt to leave a great first impression, whether it’s the secretary, the hiring manager or your fellow applicants. If you wish to differentiate yourself from other candidates, you must appear to be more eager, determined and serious to get the job. You must let them know how much you want to be there: show up early, dress smartly, be alert and be prepared.

3. Let employers know what you have to offer.

In every job interview, you have to convince the employer (or the hiring manager) why they should hire you out of all the other qualified applicants. The best way to do this is to identify the needs of the company and how you can fill them, using your skills and expertise. You must present yourself as an asset, and how being part of the team is a benefit to the organization, given your experience. Specify relevant challenges that you have overcome in the past, problems where you found practical solutions, and ideas that have produced tangible results. Employers always want to know that they are getting value for their money, and so you must convince them that hiring you is a definite advantage to contribute to the growth of the company.

4. Put together a portfolio.

It is never enough just to have a resume these days. As the marketplace becomes more competitive, people are finding new and creative ways on how to present themselves. One of these is by having a career portfolio. How extensive depends on the kind of work you do.

Usually it includes the following: a short (one-page) biography about your employment experience, a compilation of inspiring accomplishment stories, covers letters, and professional references. You can also include a list of your target organizations and a short marketing speech about yourself. If you are part of the creative industry, then you can also prepare a digital or printed book of your works (published or unpublished) – be it written articles, design samples.

5. Use the Internet to your advantage.

A lot of companies already have their own career websites and prefer to receive resumes and applications online. Some of them even use LinkedIn Pages or Facebook Fan Pages to engage possible candidates, using video testimonials of their own employees. Use the web to get in touch and engage with your target organizations and to research more about your industry. You can also create a website for yourself, and display your CV and portfolio there. Moreover, you can create a blog where you discuss topics that deal with your skills and experience. Build an audience through the use of social media (LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter , Google Hangouts are a few examples to add to your credibility. And some even record their own introduction video and upload onto YouTube. By having a significant online presence and by presenting yourself as an expert on certain matters related to the position you are looking for, the right people will eventually find you. To support your networking activities, you can also use e-mail to keep in touch with your colleagues and other contacts.

6. Practice going to a job interview.

This is to improve your speaking and negotiating skills. Anticipate questions that might be asked during the interview, and prepare answers that are firm and direct to the point. Write a short speech (marketing spiel) about yourself, stating your job objectives, your experience and strengths that you can bring to the table, and commit them to memory. Practice negotiating about salary, compensation and benefits, among other things. Be polite, but firm. To gauge your performance, you can do any of the following tips: speak in front of the mirror, converse with a friend and act as if you're in a real situation, or record yourself and listen to it later.

7. Build a network of reliable contacts.

These are people who have connections to your target organizations and industries. Keep in touch and meet with them regularly, and get to know them in a more personal capacity. Refrain from making your conversations strictly about business – ask about their interests, their families. Discuss ideas. Be sincere in building relationships with them. Don't hesitate to offer your help where it is needed, even if you don't get anything in return.

8. Improve your management skills.

As this is not your first walk in the park, there are a lot more things expected from you by future employers. Your capabilities may be something of value, but it is the years in your experience that makes you a target for bigger expectations and responsibilities. You're no longer rank-and-file; you are a seasoned potential hire looking to secure a position at the executive level. You will be expected to handle teams, start projects, and deliver the big guns. Keep your skills current and relevant by attending seminars on career building and the like. Read up on business and industry trends, as well as organizational and strategic management. Talk to people who are in your field and learn from them constantly.

9. Nurture your brand.

You are your brand. You are what you sell to hiring managers and employers. Find your unique selling proposition, and cultivate that. Your strengths are your best marketing advantage, and you must position yourself as an expert at what you do at all time. Start by writing articles, giving presentations, speaking at events, or even teaching a class. Join professional and business organizations, and make every effort to get a leadership role. Be active in your community and win people over with your ideas and commitment.

10. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Weighing one person’s accomplishments against yours will only derail you from achieving more things. Accept that each life is different, and every person has his own path to take. Don’t waste time thinking of what could have been. Learn from your mistakes and start over again if need be. Many people go through a rough period while unemployed, but after a period of self-assessment, most realize that things happen for a reason. For example, one finds a job better than the last one and views being laid off as a blessing in disguise. Another who was forced to early retirement found more time to be with family and discovered another passion, which led to starting a business. The big lesson is: look at the big picture. Find the positive in your situation. Commit to this change in perspective and turn your adversity into a productive experience.

11. Never stop learning.

Continue developing your abilities by pursuing new things. Take classes, seminars or industry conferences that interest you, not just because it’s related to the work you are looking for right now. Enhance your credentials by getting a new professional certification. Enroll for lessons that are not necessarily related to corporate culture: guitar lessons, swimming lessons, even flower arrangement lessons. Keep your hands and your mind busy! Do all the things you’ve been meaning to do, but never had the time to. Explore the world that is out there, waiting to be discovered.

12. Live healthy, and live well.

Job search requires a lot of energy and enthusiasm. Eat well; get a lot of exercise, but rest when you need to rest. Have hobbies and enjoy doing what interests you. Get together with friends often. Spend time with your family. Don’t eschew routines and relationships at the expense of working hard to get the job that you want. If you take care of yourself, the good things will follow.

Performing a successful job search can bring in a lot of pressure. But end of the day, it’s still just a job. It is important to remember that it does not take precedence over things that really matter: a healthy body, people who love you, and a life to live to the fullest.

Wishing you the best.

Expand your knowledge and enlighten your mind with the tools you need to excel in your life! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years’ experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. Book a free session at www.denisedema.com today.

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Source: Ngee Key 

Learn How to Eliminate Your Bad Habits

It has been said that human beings are ‘Creatures of Habit’. Habits are routines of behaviors that occur outside of conscious awareness. Many habits are helpful, in that they help you to manage your time, and complete important and routine everyday tasks.

Do you have a habit you would like to eliminate? Is your habit your servant or your master? Are you aware that ultimately, your habits determine your future!

No matter what you might long for in life, you don’t just drift along into the life you desire, you have to create what you want by taking action in the direction of your goals.

Ask your self some questions about the habits you have developed. Some will be helpful habits, in that they are consistent with your values, while others habits are unhelpful and do not serve your life goals.

Breaking a habit involves will power! Habits differ from addictions because they can be controlled by the will, whereas addictions are negative behaviors that are no longer under the control of the will. Many people hang on to unhelpful habits because they meet an important emotional need in the form of a Reward. Habits are not innate; rather they are learned and influenced by the environment by a process known as Reinforcement (reward). Think about the reward you derive from the habit you wish to eliminate. Do you have the will power to give this up and make a change?

Identify one unhelpful habit in your life and ask yourself; What keeps it going? Does it meet a social or emotional need in you? How does this habit impact on your life? Does it affect your sense of the future? How would you like it to be different? In what way would your life be different if you could break free of this unhelpful habit?

Studies have shown that in order to break free of unhelpful habits it is necessary to Replace them with habits that promote and serve your goals.

Can you think of a helpful habit you could develop so that you can replace your unhelpful habit?

The findings of psychological research demonstrate that habits develop through repetition, with very little or no thought involved.

So, we know that habits become automatic through consistent repetition and reward. This applies to both helpful and unhelpful habits, whatever it is you repeat and reward in a consistent way for 30 days will become a new habit, whether it is helpful or unhelpful, good or bad!

Understanding the factors that influence the formation of habits will help you to apply them to creating the habits you want to develop; habits that serve your goals.

If you don’t set a baseline standard for what you will accept in life, you will find it easy to slip into behaviors, attitudes or quality of life that falls far below what you deserve.

If you are ready to eliminate an unwanted habit you will find some guidelines below.

• When attempting to eliminate an unwanted habit, it is much easier to deal with one habit at a time, so that you do not set yourself up for failure by taking on too much at once.
• Write down a start date and give yourself a 30 day time frame to replace an unwanted habit with a one that you would like to develop.
• Write down your goals and tell others about your intentions, this will help you to take responsibility for your decision and make you accountable to yourself for follow-through.  
• List the pros and cons of eliminating your unwanted habit; this will help you to strengthen your motivation, by focusing on what you want and what you don’t want in your life.
• Be sure to find out what your triggers are. All habits have a trigger point; it may be time of day, or other context, which acts as a trigger for you to exercise your unwanted habit. For instance; do you eat in the context of being hungry or when you see food?!
• Use self-talk to help you cope with temptation. Access support from others who believe you can do it and are not likely to sabotage your progress.
• Identify the obstacles that might get in the way of you reaching your goal. Make a plan so that you can manage blips and setbacks to progress. Expect blips as part of the process and don’t give up!
• Use your pros and cons list to help you to stay motivated on a daily basis, add pictures or photographs as visual aids to prompt you to stay on target.

On your ‘start day’, consistently replace the unhelpful habit with the helpful one you have chosen. Remember that repetition and rehearsal establishes a new pattern, so stick with it! Change the environment so that the relationship between your trigger and your response is disrupted. Be consistent!

Follow these instructions for 30 days minimum and then review your progress. If you have a blip, look for the trigger, and plan to be more vigilant next time it occurs.

Make your habits your servants; do not allow unwanted habits to prevent you from living your dreams! You are able to choose, and you have the power to make change happen in your life, no-one else does. If it is important to you, it can be overcome. Ultimately, it is what you DO that matters in life. Helpful habits lead to positive futures.

Take Action!

Use these tips to help you identify problem behaviour, move forward and stay on track.

What will you be doing differently 30 days from now?
Write it down here:
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

If someone was watching you what would they be noticing about you?
Write it down here:
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Now live what you have described, live it consistently every day
for 30 days!

If you would like further information on Habit Formation or elimination of unhelpful habits, here are some useful reading suggestions:

The Habit Change Workbook; How to break bad habits and form good ones by J Claiborn.

Habitually Great: Master your habits, own your destiny by Mark Weinstein.

Achieve your full potential! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years’ experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. Book a complimentary session at http://www.denisedema.com to get started today!

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