Boost Your Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is a realistic, appreciative opinion of oneself. Realistic means that we are accurately aware of our strengths and weaknesses. Appreciative means that we have overall good feelings about the person that we see. It’s about feeling whole and secure in oneself.
 

The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. The strongest single factor in acquiring abundance is self-esteem: believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it. People are motivated to have high self-esteem, and having it indicates positive self-regard. 

There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. People who do not experience self-love have little or no capacity to love others.

Do you like and accept yourself? Are you happy with whom you are? Do you have faith in yourself? Do you believe that you have what it takes to be able to lead a rich and fulfilling life? These questions are all related to your level of self-esteem.  Self-esteem is essential for success and happiness. It’s also essential in order to be able to achieve your goals. People with high self-esteem say the following about themselves:

• I like myself as a person.
• I’m as good as everyone else.
• I like what I see in the mirror.
• I am happy to be me.
• I respect myself.
• I’d rather be me than anyone else.
• I’m not affected by what others say to me.
• I have the skills and qualities to make myself a success.
• I like taking risks.
• I’m not afraid to make mistakes.
• I can laugh at myself.

Here are a few ways to boost your self-esteem.

Recognize Your Intrinsic Self-Worth

The basic premise of self-esteem is that all people have intrinsic worth as a person which does not have to be earned. Intrinsic self worth is basically self love. When you feel intrinsic self worth, you are happy and satisfied with yourself as you are. Someone with intrinsic self worth does not require external awards, kudos, gold stars, or the acknowledgement of authority figures (parents, priests, teachers, etc.) in order to feel good about themselves. Someone with intrinsic self worth loves themselves unconditionally. This core human worth is not affected by external factors, this means that you don’t need to compete in order to establish your worth, or be constantly comparing yourself to others with money, looks or physical things. It means that your self-esteem is not something that is developed by any external factors.  One of the building blocks of self-esteem is recognizing your intrinsic self-worth. Seek respect mainly from thyself, for it comes first from within.

Thoughts Determine Self-Esteem

Self-esteem and circumstances are only indirectly related. Self-esteem is 100% determined by your thoughts.

One example to illustrate this point is what you say to yourself when you’re standing in front of a mirror. If you look in the mirror and think, “I’ve gained five pounds; I look fat”, you feel bad about yourself. If, instead, you think about something positive, “My hair looks nice like this”, you then feel good about yourself. The reflection in the mirror remains the same; only the thoughts change.

In addition, certain external circumstances can make it easier for you to feel good about yourself. However, external circumstances are never as powerful as your own thoughts. Here are two examples:

• If you’re the vice-president of a major corporation and you say to yourself, “By my age I should be the President of this corporation”, you feel bad about yourself even though you hold an important position.
• If, on the other hand, you hold a job that is not regarded by society with as much prestige but you say to yourself, “I do my job well and it allows me to pay my bills on time and spend quality time with my family which is my priority”, you feel good about yourself.

You can increase your self-esteem by changing the way in which you interpret your life, and by uncovering the negative self-statements you habitually make. You then need to create new, positive self-statements. They add that research indicates that it is more effective to stop telling yourself negative things, than to just tell yourself positive things.

In order to understand self-esteem, you need to be aware of the Pathological Inner Critic. This is the voice you hear in your head which is constantly reminding you of your failings and shortcomings. The inner critic destroys your self-esteem. In order to silence the inner critic, I recommend the following process:

1. Pay attention to your thoughts and learn to become aware of when your inner critic is doing the talking inside your head.

2. When you hear the inner critic, talk back. You can mentally say to yourself any of the following: “That’s a lie”; “Shut-up!”; “I don’t believe that”; or “That’s not so”. You can also wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it when you hear the inner critic talking, in order to break your chain of thought.

3. Instead of being occupied with thoughts about past occurrences which may result in feelings of anxiety, sadness, regret, shame, or guilt, based on what your inner critic is saying, get up and go do something else. You can also shift your attention: look out the window, look at an object nearby and study it intently, think of something pleasant you’ve done lately, or think of someone you enjoy spending time with.

4. Schedule time to address the things you need to think about or figure out. If there’s something that’s not resolved, set aside a specific time to think about it. Then, only think about it during that designated time.  If you catch your inner critic trying to get you to think about things prematurely that interrupt your day, stop the thoughts and make it wait so it has a place and time instead of allowing it to rummage through your head the entire day. Worrying about things with no result in sight only disrupts your ability to focus on other things that are important.

5. Replace the inner critic with a positive voice. Compliment yourself or repeat a positive affirmation. Stop the thoughts that are negative and replace them with good thoughts to create a habit that will become second nature in time. 

Keep Your Self-Esteem Muscles Strong

Self-esteem is a mental muscle that must be developed and maintained through regular psychological workouts. Here are some of the “workouts” recommended.

1. Pursue something you’re passionate about each day, even if it’s just for fifteen minutes. This can be gardening, hitting golf balls, taking a walk at the beach, reading a chapter in a book or reading a bedtime story to your child over the phone if you have to work late. Actively seek out activities and projects that generate passion.

2. Instead of just giving yourself credit only when you achieve a goal, stop to recognize your efforts. Make a list of things that you give your 100% to.

3. Put up a self-esteem bulletin board in a place where you can see it often and fill it with things that make you feel good: an email from a client thanking you for your great work, a photo of yourself that you like, a painting your child made especially for you, and so on. Update your collection once a month. This is a visual aid that does wonders for your mental state of mind each day when you see it. It sets a positive path for you.

Conclusion

The reputation you have with yourself - your self-esteem - is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life. 

Get the tools you need to excel in your life by working with Denise Dema, a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years experience empowering individuals, executives and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. Book a complimentary session at http://www.denisedema.com to get started in reaching your personal and professional goals today!

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love & affection. ~Buddha

The Road To Happiness

We always think that the life will be easier after you finish studying, get married or find a good job…. But when you’ve already accomplished that, you’re controlled by so many worries again and again… We are usually unsatisfied, when our life is not the same as what we wanted. For some reason nothing can make us truly happy or happy enough…

Are there many people who recognize that the happiest time in their life is the moment we are living in? Life contains many challenges and difficulties, troubles and losses… The way to adapt ourselves to the life we have – is accepting it the way it is and believing in ourselves. Anyone knows what happiness feels like, and it’s a great feeling! So why don’t we let it in our hearts?

Don’t wait for any miracle or anybody to bring the happiness to you, don’t wait until you are graduated, don’t wait until you can earn more money, get more success, get married or retired to see what happiness is. Feel happy now. Why not?

Happiness is a road, an itinerary… Let’s enjoy each moment on that itinerary. Let’s spend the time to take care of other people and ourselves.  It’s never too late to start feeling happy for no particular reason. Start with the knowledge that you are alive, healthy and have some loving and caring people around you. Embrace these thoughts and all the good in your life. If you think about it, you will probably find a hundred and one reasons, why you should feel happy right now.

Let’s love and live with all our hearts today, right now and focus on this very moment. 

You will sure find true happiness if you learn to enjoy every day of your life no matter what it brings.

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. - Helen Keller

Get on the right path to achieve your full potential! Focus on personal development to improve your life. Book a free strategy session at http://www.denisedema.com

Professional Development is a Lifelong Activity.

How often do you set aside time to learn new skills? Chances are, not as often as you'd like! If you're like many people, you're keen to learn, but you struggle to find the time. So, how can you make this time, develop your knowledge, and increase your value, both to your organization and to future employers? 

Why Make Time for Professional Development?

If you're a manager, you'll know how important it is to ensure that your team members are given plenty of training and development opportunities. However, it's just as important to focus on your own learning and development. To do this, it's essential to set aside enough time. 

There are several reasons why you might not make learning a priority. Volume of work is the most obvious reason: with work and personal responsibilities competing for your attention, it can feel impossible to find room in your schedule for learning. 

As well as this, you may feel guilty about taking time out for personal and professional development; after all, this could be used to work on urgent or important tasks, or even to be with your family. 

It can also be difficult to make learning part of your routine. In the course of a busy, hectic day, tasks like "Read leadership book," and "Complete online course" can easily slip to the bottom of your To-Do List.

This can lead you to feel disappointed about not living up to your own expectations, which can affect your self-confidence and make you feel less positive about your career. You can also suffer if you don't stay up-to-date with changes to your industry or profession. For instance, you might miss opportunities to make a greater contribution to your team or organization, and other people may become more effective than you in the workplace.

However, when you make learning a priority, you increase your value to your organization. You're more marketable as a professional, and you're in a better position when you apply for a challenging project or seek a promotion.

Continuous learning can also help you develop expert power. If your boss, team members, or clients see you as an expert, they're far more willing to respect your opinion and follow your lead. This can make it easier to win support for your projects, negotiate a contract, or manage change.

Personal Learning Strategies

There's no doubt that it's important to make your own professional development a priority. But how do you find time to do it?

1. Set Learning Goals

If you don't recognize the importance of what you're doing, it will be easy to give self-development up whenever you're pressed for time or lacking energy and motivation. 

So, your first step is to identify your learning objectives, and visualize how these will help you achieve the other professional goals that you've set. So, what do you want to get from your learning? And why are you making time to learn? 

It's important to set smart, realistic goals from the beginning, and to break these down into long- and short-term goals that you can add to your daily to do list. 

Then, write down why you are devoting time to this activity and how these learning activities are going to make your life better.

2. Identify Obstacles

Next, identify possible obstacles that might make it difficult to stick to a learning schedule, and come up with strategies to overcome them.

For instance, imagine that, over the coming week, you've committed to spending half an hour reading a book when you get home. One possible obstacle is that your kids may want to play with you as soon as you walk in the door. To overcome this, you'll need to explain to them why you need time to study alone. Promise them time as soon as you're finished, and then sit in a quiet room, so you won't be disturbed.

Go through the possible obstacles that might prevent you from spending time on your learning, and write down the strategies that you'll use to overcome each one.

3. Think Small

Many of us assume that we'll need large chunks of time to devote to learning. However, short blocks of time can be just as effective, if you focus.

The key to learning effectively is to maximize the impact of every moment that you have available. Look at your To-Do List, and see what you can achieve in the time available. Make sure that you minimize distractions, even if you only have just 10 minutes free, and concentrate on what you're reading or learning. 

Tip:
Think about how you can use your mobile device to learn when you're on the move – by using appropriate apps, by listening to podcasts, or by storing information that you want to memorize on the device's notepad. 

4. Learn at Your Best

Many people schedule their learning for a time when they've completed everything else. However tempting this may be, think about how you feel when you've accomplished everything on your to-do list. You're usually exhausted, right?

Everyone has different peaks and valleys in their energy levels. It's important not to schedule learning, which requires a fresh, open mind, for the time of day when you have the smallest amount of energy. Explore how you can better schedule learning to take advantage of the changes in your energy throughout the day.

5. Make Learning a Habit

You'll only be able to sustain your learning if you make it a habit. Developing any habit takes work and self-discipline.

To build a habit, look at your schedule and see how you can work time for learning in every day. Could you get up an hour earlier, or learn on your lunch break? Could you study after everyone else has gone to bed? Take into account the energy levels we mentioned earlier.

Think of a reward that you can use to motivate yourself through, say, the next two weeks. This will help to keep you going when you don't feel like studying, or when you're tempted to skip a day because you want to do something else instead. 

Once you've made it through the first two weeks, take time to congratulate yourself! That first step is always the hardest. Next, commit to spending the next 30 days learning every day. Reassess the time slots you've carved out for yourself: are they working? If not, what tasks could you move around to make learning more practical? 

Remember, habits start out as little daily activities that you force yourself to do. They only become habits with time and persistence. 

6. Choose the Right Learning Style

Do know how you learn best? For instance, some people learn and retain information best when they can read and take notes. Others are active learners; they need to learn by doing something themselves. Still others learn best when they're presented only with the facts and with none of the theory.

It's important to identify your personal learning style so that you can tailor your learning to fit what works best for you. 

7. Collaborate

It's often easiest to learn in collaboration with others; after all, if you know that there are people who are always available if you need help or advice, you're more likely to turn to them instead of giving up. When you join a community that makes learning a priority, these people can also hold you accountable for your learning goals.

One of the best ways to do this is by joining a class or doing a course with others. However, you can also network on LinkedIn and Twitter to find other professionals in your industry who are interested in learning. You can also talk to colleagues to see if they routinely devote time to learning. If so, perhaps you could form a study group, or simply spend time reading or learning together? 

8. Delegate Tasks

Your day is likely full of tasks that you're responsible for. So, how are you going to fit learning in?

Look at your professional and personal responsibilities to see if you can delegate any tasks to someone else, for example by giving new tasks to team members, or by hiring someone to clean your house. If you can clear even a half hour from your schedule, you can use this time to work on your learning goals.

Tip:
See this time management article for tips on managing your time. 

Key Points

Lifelong learning is essential if you want to stay "in demand" in a changing business world. However, many of us feel that we don't have time to devote to regular learning, in spite of the many benefits it offers.

Start by setting small goals with your learning; commit to devoting time daily for the next two weeks. Identify your learning goals, so that you know why and what you want to learn.

Try to delegate activities to open up your schedule, if you can. And consider forming a support group with others who are also interested in learning.

Get on the right path to achieve your full potential! Focus on professional and personal development to improve your life. Book a free strategy session at http://www.denisedema.com