Are you highly sensitive or an Empath?

Are you impacted by the feelings of those around you? Do people describe you as empathetic? Perhaps you have always had the ability to feel the emotions and physical symptoms of others as if they were your own. If this rings true in your life, you may be an “empath.”

Only a small percentage of the population experience this type of sensitivity, having the ability to feel and absorb the emotions surrounding them. They likely view the world through their emotions and intuition rather than putting too much logic behind their decision making. While this characteristic can be a source of personal strength, it is also important to know how to manage common challenges of being an empath.

What is an Empath?

While there is significant research behind the feeling of empathy, there are very few studies focused primarily on empaths. What is known is that empaths likely have hyper-responsive mirror neurons — the group of brain cells responsible for triggering feelings like compassion — according to research findings. This makes it possible for someone to feel especially sensitive to electromagnetic fields generated by a person’s brain and heart and intuit the emotions felt by those around them. If there is an excited crowd or a group of people in mourning, the energy can be felt deep within an empath’s body.

For those who are more introverted empaths, they may be more sensitive to the brain chemical responsible for feeling pleasure — dopamine. In instances where too much stimulation occurs, an empath can feel overwhelmed. Over time, empaths can become programmed to avoid external stimulation or need very little of it to feel happy. Whether or not a person is introverted, some common side effects of hyper-sensitivity can include exhaustion, overload, depression, and anxiety. Often, when these feelings arise, it’s helpful to have some space to retreat to at home or a favorite outdoor spot you can recharge in.

When overwhelmed with stressful emotions, empaths can experience anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and fatigue and may even show physical symptoms such as an increased heart rate and headache. This is because they internalize the feelings and pain of others without the ability to distinguish it from their own. To help manage these overwhelming moments, it is important for empaths to identify their own thoughts and feelings, as much as possible, and separating them from those of others.

Signs You Are an Empath

1. You are introverted. Often, empaths become overwhelmed when in large groups of people. Rather than feeling positively impacted by those around you, you likely choose to be more introverted and prefer one-to-one and small-group interactions.

2. You are easily impacted by images and movies. Perhaps tears come quickly and easily when you watch a movie, or you may experience the emotion behind the subject of a photograph. In these instances, moments on screen and in print have a big effect on how you feel.

3. You are afraid of getting lost in relationships. Empaths likely have a history of getting completely absorbed by new relationships and are fearful of not having the right kind of boundaries in place. You might feel completely swallowed up and blur the lines between your feelings and those of the person you are in a relationship with.

4. You absorb other people’s emotions. Being in tune with what other people are experiencing, both good and bad, is a sign you are an empath. You may feel ambient emotions around you as if they were your own and become exhausted emotionally and even physically.

5. You are highly intuitive. Are you led by your own gut feelings about people? Empaths often listen to their inner thoughts when it comes to judging people, helping to spot positive relationships that help them feel their best.

Using Your Emotions as a Strength. For the nearly 15 to 20 percent of the population who are classified as “highly sensitive,” they feel more deeply and intensely than those around them. Their brains are processing information and reflecting on it in a powerful, nuanced way. While this behavior can be seen as being too sensitive, caring, or too attentive, these abilities can also be perceived as desirable — being exceptionally perceptive, intuitive, and hyper-observant. The trick is to find a way to manage and channel those (sometimes) uncomfortable emotions.

To guard against unpleasant or overwhelming emotions, empaths can employee different types of strategies to make daily experiences more palatable. Taking a methodological approach to time management, and setting firm boundaries with people who drain your energy, becomes invaluable. Additionally, knowing when meditation and stillness is needed can be an important way to regroup. The key is to find ways to take care of yourself and strategically respond to heightened feelings as they arise.

While more research is needed when it comes to understanding the science behind empaths and the reason why some people absorb feelings more readily than others, there are still ways to identify whether or not you experience empath-like tendencies. By understanding the signs and triggers for empaths, it is easier to leverage these abilities as strengths, while better managing any negative impacts. In any instance, it is important to understand your emotional needs and communicate them to those around you.  Source: Jessica DuBois-Maahs

Time Management Tips

 

Managing your time and using it wisely is a journey, and not something that can be easily mastered overnight. Implementing a plan will help you become more productive. Time management requires a significant amount of self-discipline and commitment. If you learn to manage your time better, you will feel more fulfilled on a daily basis. Here are some tips to assist you with time management...

1. Set Goals both short-term and long-term goals for each day, week, and year. Take the time to make a written list of your goals, which will allow you to refer back to the list when you need some guidance. Keep in mind that it is okay to adjust the goals as your personal and business needs change. Use them as a tool to guide you.

2. Give yourself Mini-Rewards. All work and no play is a difficult concept to sustain for very long. Build rewards into your schedule. If there is a task you really dislike, follow it with a task that you greatly enjoy. Build "mini-rewards" into your schedule to increase your productivity.

3. Keep a running "To Do" list and use your calendar with alerts. The To Do list should contain both daily tasks as well as longer-term tasks. Having a To Do list will help keep your attention on the projects that require attention, and prevent some items from slipping through the cracks and being forgotten.

4. Keep your expectations realistic. No one can do everything, and with that in mind, try to set realistic expectations of what you can hope to accomplish.

5. Prioritize the list of things to do. Some items might require immediate attention, while others may be necessary but not as urgent. After prioritizing, try not to become a "firefighter" and only react to the urgent items. Be sure to still give proper attention to non-urgent items as well, as they are important too.

6. Use your time wisely.  If there are blocks of time that you spend waiting or commuting, figure out ways to use that time being productive! Listening to podcasts, reading, writing, proof-reading, reviewing your schedule, planning for your next activity, etc, are all things that can usually be done remotely to fill in some of the unavoidable "dead" time in your schedule. Try to find interesting and unusual productive things to do during those periods of downtime.

7. Set appropriate time limits for tasks. When working on those tasks, monitor the time that each item is taking. If the time dedicated was more than you anticipated, review how you went about accomplishing that task and look for alternative time savers in the future.

8. Organize your space, and remove any excessive clutter. Spending time looking for something is a waste of time and time is a precious commodity. Both your living space and your physical working area should be organized so that you can easily locate anything you need in a moment’s notice.

9. Minimize distractions throughout your day and you will accomplish more. If you find yourself consumed by all different types of social mediums, try to set aside a specific period of time to participate in that social community. The less you are interrupted, the more you will be able to maximize your time. Work on minimizing interruptions and distractions as much as possible.

10. Reflect at the end of the day on what you accomplished. If you were unable to account for a specific period of time, or you found a given day to be particularly unproductive, take an inventory and try to determine where your time management system broke down.

Keep in mind that not every day is going to be as productive as you would hope. Unexpected things always come up, and no matter how hard you try, your expectations just might not be realistic. Do not become discouraged. Instead, simply stay focused and make an effort to increase your productivity the next day. Each day brings a renewed sense of energy with new opportunities to accomplish your goals.

Get the tools you need to excel in your life. Work with a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years’ experience empowering individuals, executives and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. Book a complimentary session at http://www.denisedema.com  to get started in reaching your goals today! On-site, phone and e-mail coaching available.

What you focus on expands.

 

Your life becomes what you focus on. Your thought patterns create the texture of your everyday life. You are always focusing on something. The experiences you create in this very moment, and the next, are based on where your focus lies.

What you see depends on what you look for. What you hear depends on what you listen for and what you feel depends on the experiences you seek. Your expectations, based on what you focus on, blossom into self-fulfilling prophecies.

The results you create are a result of your focus. If you're not getting the results you are looking for, it is time to re-examine what you focus on. If you keep focusing on the same things and keep doing what you’ve always done, sure enough, you’ll keep getting the same results.

Your mind cannot tell the difference between something you think about or focus on that you do want, and the stuff you think about that you don’t want. Your mind is a very effective goal seeking mechanism and seeks to create precisely what you focus on. The key is to direct your focus on the goals and experiences that you do want in your life.

Think of your focus as a sticky boomerang. What you focus on comes back to you, with more strength that it has gathered along the way. If you send out anger, fear, negativity or jealousy, you will invite the same thoughts manifold.

What you focus on expands.

Focus on what is going well in your life right now and what is good for you moving forward. Focus on your innate talents and capabilities. Focus on what you believe is possible and you will see opportunities rather than constraints.
 

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Gain Coping Skills During Challenging Times

Change is inevitable. Sometimes it can be positive – business growth or a pay raise and other times it can be painful – losing your job or a personal loss. Often the hardest changes to understand and adjust to are the ones that are unexpected and out of our control – a recession, a global pandemic, or a major disaster. Changes of this magnitude can be difficult to come to terms with, but you'll often find that your experience of them can be made better or worse depending on your reaction and your attitude. Lets explore the different ways in which people tend to approach change, the reactions that you might have, and how to best cope with it.

How People Cope With Change

People tend to cope with change in one of two ways:

1. Escape coping.
2. Control coping.

Escape coping is based on avoidance. You take deliberate actions to avoid the difficulties of the change. For instance, you might deliberately miss training for a new working process, or show up too late to attend a meeting about an upcoming restructure. Maybe you'll trash letters from your HR department about layoffs, or ignore calls from a co-worker who's just got the promotion that you wanted. Some people even take refuge in alcohol or drugs.

Control coping, on the other hand, is positive and proactive. You refuse to behave like a "victim" of change. Instead, you manage your feelings, get support, and do whatever you can to be part of the change

In reality, most of us respond to major change with a mixture of escape and control coping. But control coping is generally the better option, as it is impossible to avoid the reality of change for long without becoming exhausted or damaging your reputation.

Stages of Reacting to Change

Change can be difficult because it can challenge how we think, how we work, the quality of our relationships, and even our physical security or sense of identity. We usually react to change in four stages:

1. Shock and disorientation.
2. Anger and other emotional responses.
3. Coming to terms with the "new normal."
4. Acceptance and moving forward.

But our progression through these stages is rarely simple or linear. We might get stuck in one stage, or advance quickly but then regress. And there is often no clear-cut, decisive move from one stage to another. Shock can change to anger, for example, with no obvious break between the two. Here are the four stages in more detail.

Stage 1: Shock and Disorientation

Experiencing a sudden, big change can feel like a physical blow. For example, a global financial crisis may result in significant losses and redundancies. This may sweep away roles and relationships that you've cultivated for years, leading to instability. Or, a sudden bereavement or health issue may change your fundamental outlook on life.

In the initial stage of coping, you'll likely feel confused and uncertain. Your first priority should be to seek reliable information and to make sense of the situation.

Ask for updates from your manager and HR department, research other people's similar experiences, and talk through your concerns with family and friends. If available, contact another relevant support group. Be sure to distance yourself from gossip and rumors – they are often baseless and negative, and will likely cause you more pain and anxiety, not less.

Start to objectively examine the level of threat that you're facing. Are there potential benefits that you've overlooked? Might an enforced change in your job role allow you to learn a valuable new skill, or to work with new people, for example? You'll likely not reach any firm conclusions at this stage, but try to remain as positive as you can.

Stage 2: Anger and Other Emotional Responses

Initial disorientation at the prospect of change usually gives way to a wave of strong emotions. You might be angry about a downgrade of your role, or fearful about the impact that a layoff will have on your family.
Even if the change in your circumstances is something that you've instigated yourself, you may find yourself swinging between optimism and pessimism. This is quite natural, and it's a normal step on the way to resolving your situation.

It's important to avoid suppressing your emotions, but it's equally key to manage them. So, acknowledge the way you feel, but be sure to assess what you can express openly (such as general comments about a project's progress) and what you should probably keep to yourself (opinions about a colleague' performance, for example). Don't be too surprised or embarrassed if you find yourself in tears at work. This is a natural reaction to the uncertainty and confusion that often follows a sudden change. One way of coping with change is to build up your resilience skills.

Stage 3: Coming to Terms With the "New Normal"

During this stage, your focus will likely start to shift away from what you've lost and toward what's new. This process may be slow, and you might be reluctant to acknowledge it, but it's an essential part of coping with change. The key here is to make a commitment to move on. Start to explore more deeply what the change means. Your instinct may be to behave resentfully and to be unwilling to cooperate, but this may cause yourself and others harm. So, search for and emphasize the positive aspects of your developing situation. At the same time, be patient.  Remember, coming to terms with change is a gradual process.

It's vital that you avoid pretending that everything's OK if it's not. So, if you find yourself regressing to Stage 2, give yourself time to recover. Use affirmations to improve your self-confidence, and ask for help from friends or a mentor.

Stage 4: Acceptance and Moving Forward

This is the stage when you come to fully accept your changed circumstances. Acceptance doesn't mean giving up entirely on your former situation. You'll have valuable memories, skills and relationships to carry forward, but the point is that you are moving on, whether in your career or in your wider life.
Draw up a personal mission statement and a legacy statement to stay on track. Then set yourself goals and create an action plan to make the most of your new situation.

Summary

Change comes in many forms, but leaving behind what we know and are used to is almost always stressful, even if we've made the change ourselves. Coping strategies generally fall into two categories: "escape" and "control." Most people use a mixture of both to cope with change, but control strategies are generally a healthier way to work through change and offer the greatest long-term benefits. People are more likely to progress through these stages successfully if they acknowledge their feelings, explore the facts, stay positive, draw on their support networks, and give themselves time to adapt.     Source:Mindtools

 

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