Great leadership is indeed a difficult thing to pin down and
understand. You know a great leader when you’re working for one, but
even they can have a hard time explaining the specifics of what they do
that makes their leadership so effective. Great leadership is dynamic;
it melds a variety of unique skills into an integrated whole.
Below are 12 essential behaviors that exceptional leaders rely on
every day. Give them a try and you can become a better leader today.
1. Courage
“Courage is the first virtue that makes all other virtues possible.” - Aristotle
People will wait to see if a leader is courageous before they’re
willing to follow his or her lead. People need courage in their leaders.
They need someone who can make difficult decisions and watch over the
good of the group. They need a leader who will stay the course when
things get tough. People are far more likely to show courage themselves
when their leaders do the same.
For the courageous leader adversity is a welcome test. Like a
blacksmith’s molding of a red-hot iron, adversity is a trial by fire
that refines leaders and sharpens their game. Adversity emboldens
courageous leaders and leaves them more committed to their strategic
direction.
Leaders who lack courage simply toe the company line. They follow the safest path
, the path of least resistance
, because they’d rather cover their backside than lead.
2. Effective Communication
“The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate.” - Joseph Priestley
Communication is the real work of leadership. It’s a fundamental
element of how leaders accomplish their goals each and every day. You
simply can’t become a great leader until you are a great communicator.
Great communicators inspire people. They create a connection with
their followers that is real, emotional, and personal, regardless of any
physical distance between them. Great communicators forge this
connection through an understanding of people and an ability to speak
directly to their needs.
3. Generosity
“A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share
of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit.” - John
Maxwell
Great leaders are generous. They share credit and offer enthusiastic
praise. They’re as committed to their followers’ success as they are to
their own. They want to inspire all of their employees to achieve their
personal best – not just because it will make the team more successful,
but because they care about each person as an individual.
4. Humility
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” - C.S. Lewis
Great leaders are humble. They don’t allow their position of
authority to make them feel that they are better than anyone else. As
such, they don’t hesitate to jump in and do the dirty work when needed,
and they won’t ask their followers to do anything they wouldn’t be
willing to do themselves.
5. Self-Awareness
“It is absurd that a man should rule others, who cannot rule himself.” - Latin Proverb
Contrary to what Dilbert might have us believe, leaders’ gaps in
self-awareness are rarely due to deceitful, Machiavellian motives, or
severe character deficits. In most cases, leaders
—like everyone else
—view themselves in a more favorable light than other people do.
Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence, a skill
that 90% of top performing leaders possess in abundance. Great leaders’
high self-awareness means they have a clear and accurate image not just
of their leadership style, but also of their own strengths and
weaknesses. They know where they shine and where they’re weak, and they
have effective strategies for leaning into their strengths and
compensating for their weaknesses.
6. Adherence to the Golden Rule
“The way you see people is the way you treat them, and the way you treat them is what they become.” - Jon Wolfgang von Goethe
The Golden Rule – treat others as you want to be treated – assumes
that all people are the same. It assumes that, if you treat your
followers the way you would want a leader to treat you, they’ll be
happy. It ignores that people are motivated by vastly different things.
One person loves public recognition, while another loathes being the
center of attention.
Great leaders don’t treat people how they themselves want to be
treated. Instead, they take the Golden Rule a step further and treat
each person as he or she would like to be treated. Great leaders learn
what makes people tick, recognize their needs in the moment, and adapt
their leadership style accordingly.
7. Passion
“If you just work on stuff that you like and are passionate
about, you don’t have to have a master plan with how things will play
out.” - Mark Zuckerberg
Passion and enthusiasm are contagious. So are boredom and apathy. No
one wants to work for a boss that’s unexcited about his or her job, or
even one who’s just going through the motions. Great leaders are
passionate about what they do, and they strive to share that passion
with everyone around them.
8. Infectiousness
“The very essence of leadership is that you have to have a
vision. It’s got to be a vision you articulate clearly and forcefully on
every occasion. You can’t blow an uncertain trumpet.” - Reverend
Theodore Hesburgh
Great leaders know that having a clear vision isn’t enough. You have
to make that vision come alive so that your followers can see it just as
clearly as you do. Great leaders do that by telling stories and
painting verbal pictures so that everyone can understand not just where
they’re going, but what it will look and feel like when they get there.
This inspires others to internalize the vision and make it their own.
9. Authenticity
“Just be who you are and speak from your guts and heart, it’s all a man has.” - Hubert Humphrey
Authenticity refers to being honest in all things – not just what you
say and do, but who you are. When you’re authentic, your words and
actions align with who you claim to be. Your followers shouldn’t be
compelled to spend time trying to figure out if you have ulterior
motives. Any time they spend doing so erodes their confidence in you and
in their ability to execute.
Leaders who are authentic are transparent and forthcoming. They
aren’t perfect, but they earn people’s respect by walking their talk.
10. Approachability
“Management is like holding a dove in your hand. Squeeze too hard
and you kill it, not hard enough and it flies away.” - Tommy Lasorda
Great leaders make it clear that they welcome challenges, criticism,
and viewpoints other than their own. They know that an environment where
people are afraid to speak up, offer insight, and ask good questions is
destined for failure. By ensuring that they are approachable, great
leaders facilitate the flow of great ideas throughout the organization.
11. Accountability
“The ancient Romans had a tradition: Whenever one of their
engineers constructed an arch, as the capstone was hoisted into place,
the engineer assumed accountability for his work in the most profound
way possible: He stood under the arch.” - Michael Armstrong
Great leaders have their followers’ backs. They don’t try to shift
blame, and they don’t avoid shame when they fail. They’re never afraid
to say, “The buck stops here,” and they earn people’s trust by backing
them up.
12. Sense Of Purpose
“You don’t lead by pointing and telling people some place to go. You lead by going to that place and making a case.” - Ken Kesey
Whereas vision is a clear idea of where you’re going, a sense of purpose refers to an understanding of
why you’re
going there. People like to feel like they’re part of something bigger
than themselves. Great leaders give people that feeling.
Bringing It All Together
Becoming a great leader doesn’t mean that you have to incorporate all
of these traits at once. Focus on one or two at a time; each
incremental improvement will make you more effective. It’s okay if you
“act” some of these qualities at first. The more you practice, the more
instinctive it will become, and the more you’ll internalize your new
leadership style.
Souce: Dr. Travis Bradberry
Achieve your full potential and book a complimentary session today at
Business and Life Management Coaching with Denise Dema
How do you know if your boundaries are being crossed? Generally, there are a few broad categories that comprise boundary violations: verbal, psychological, emotional, and physical. Ethical, spiritual, and moral boundary violations exist as well.
Verbal violations include not allowing you to speak or be heard, raising their voice and/or screaming at you, saying things that are derogatory or inflammatory about your integrity and character, gossiping about you.
Psychological and emotional boundary violations include preying upon your sense of self and self-esteem, using what you’ve told them in confidence against you, lying to you, criticizing, demeaning, judging, or manipulating you, making fun of you, your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, trying to make you feel guilty or responsible for them or a situation, making demands of your time and energy, shaming or embarrassing you, bullying you, assuring you that their thoughts and beliefs are superior to and more important than yours.
Physical violations include moving into your personal space, touching you without permission, being inappropriate or too familiar, especially sexually, (including sexual references and overtures), touching or handling things that belong to you, violating your privacy (cell phone, computer, social media contacts, personal records), damaging or destroying your personal property, threatening you with physical harm.
While admittedly it may take involvement with several different people over a period of time, eventually getting the hang of who you want in your life and understanding who respects you and your space as opposed to people who are out for themselves (and are basically otherwise toxic), here are some tips in the meantime to help you navigate your way to your goal of establishing healthy boundaries.
Know thyself. Get to know yourself as best you can. This means that you need to learn what’s really important to you, what you really value apart from anyone else. Gaining access to your inner world by becoming familiar and comfortable with your own beliefs, emotions, feelings, and ideas is essential. The intimacy you experience within yourself serves as your own personal relational barometer. The better you know yourself the better you are able to understand and choose those significant others that best mirror the kind of life experience you want to have.
Take responsibility for yourself. This means to become aware, to develop the capacity for active conscious involvement, to know what needs to be done for yourself. By setting your own boundaries, you’re telling others how you want and expect to be treated; in other words, you are setting your limits about who can come into your space and what you expect of others once they’re there--- how you want to be spoken to, touched, and treated psychologically and emotionally. Whatever you say goes, no matter what others may think, feel, or believe. A corollary of this is that you are not responsible for the feelings, actions, and beliefs of others, or for the way they react to the boundaries you’ve set.
Develop a healthy respect for yourself.
All of your experiences, including the mistakes you’ve made help to shape your character---who you are. No one beside you, no matter how persuasive they may be, can define you or try to control who you are. When you respect yourself, all of who you are, you should expect that others will treat you with respect. If they don’t, that’s a clear sign not to engage.
Heed the warning signs. Stay away from anyone who has his or her own agenda and thinks nothing of pushing the limit, of invading your space for their own end. This is not a hard thing to recognize since there’s usually not much subtlety involved. In fact, the more you resist their attempts to engage you in a way that’s best for them, the more obvious, desperate, insulting, and shrill they may become as they try to up the ante.
Don’t try to fix people. Fixing others is a way of trying to get love, attention, and/or validation. Getting love/attention/validation must mean you’re “okay”---right? It’s a waste of your time and energy to try to fix them because, bottom line, they’re not interested in becoming any other way than they are. And the fact is you certainly don’t need fixing from self-serving people who want to tell you what to do and what’s good for you.
You are in charge of your choices. You have the right to change your mind or your direction at any time. You don’t need to feel that you owe anyone anything more than you want to give with your free and conscious heart. Anyone who mistreats you, is disrespectful of your wishes, refuses to hear you, and has no intention of changing is trouble with a capital T. Be ready to walk away without fear or guilt, and don’t look back.
Separate yourself from others. It may be difficult to imagine being emotionally attached to others while remaining psychologically and intellectually detached. This means that you are able to separate your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs from others. You understand that your boundaries are different from others. This detachment creates enough room, a kind of “psychic space” between you and others that allows for personal expression while minimizing emotional and psychological entanglement. Gaining a healthy perspective of others without creating conflict within yourself is the goal.
Work on creating the boundaries that will serve your life. Book a complimentary session to achieve your full potential at www.denisedema.com
Source: Psychology Today