Here are some of the fundamental attitudes and beliefs
that I believe contribute to their happiness and success:
Failure
is a part of learning. This is one of the most commonly
recited mantras in self-improvement – but for good reason. Individuals who see
their mistakes and failures as a learning experience are much more prone to
happiness and success. When we adopt the belief that “failure is a part of
learning,” we become more resilient and courageous in the face of new
challenges.
Instead of avoiding situations where we may embarrass
ourselves or temporarily hurt our self-esteem, we embrace these challenges in
life, even when we know they can be risky and painful. When we do fail, we
don’t see it as the end of the world, but a point to grow from and improve
upon. Here are some of my favorite quotes illustrating this concept:
“I didn’t fail a thousand times, I only found a
thousand ways that don’t work.” - Thomas
Edison
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve
lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning
shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that
is why I succeed.” - Michael Jordan
“Failure is the foundation of success, and the means by
which it is achieved. Success is the lurking-place of failure; but who can tell
when the turning-point will come?” - Lao
Tzu
Focus
on solutions, not just problems. Many people are great at
finding problems and being critical about their lives; however, they do this
without ever suggesting a possible solution or alternative to their situation.
They complain about this and that, but they never take
an active role to actually improve these things. They focus on problems not to
learn from them or fix them, but to make excuses for why their lives are
miserable and unpleasant.
I believe acknowledging problems in life is important.
I don’t recommend that we ignore things in our life that disturb us or make us
unhappy. However, it’s also important to think of ways we can actually respond
to these problems and change our circumstances.
Ruminating over problems in our life without a plan to
take action is not only a waste of time, but it makes us even more sad and
depressed. If you’re going to be critical about something in your life, focus
on the ways you can actually make a difference.
Happy and successful people only think about problems
when they are looking to improve them. They do not use them as excuses or
self-deprecating banter.
“Focus 90% of your time on solutions and only 10% of
your time on problems.” - Anthony D’Angelo
“I believe that if you show people the problems and you
show them the solutions they will be moved to act.” - Bill Gates
“Looking back, I realize that nurturing curiosity and
the instinct to seek solutions are perhaps the most important contributions
education can make.” - Paul Berg
Be
grateful for what you have. Happy and successful people are incredibly
grateful for their lives and everything they have: their relationships, their
home, their job, their possessions, their talents, their achievements, etc.
Although successful people are often thought of as
always hungry and striving – always trying to improve things, achieve their
goals, and make things better – this inner drive doesn’t take away from the
fact they are very happy and content with their lives.
I enjoy watching successful people give thank you
speeches after achieving something really great. This is when their true colors
shine through because you can tell many of them are extremely grateful for all
the people and good fortune that contributed to their success.
Gratitude is an irreplaceable characteristic of true
happiness and success. Even if we achieve great things in life, without
gratitude we often find ourselves empty and discontent. Make sure you take the
time to reflect on how lucky you are as a person (I believe everyone can find
something to be grateful for).
“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things
which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” - Epictetus
“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a
spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of
those who have lighted the flame within us.” - Albert Schweitzer
“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for
everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step
toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” - Brian
Tracy
See
the bigger picture. Happy
and successful people have an uncanny ability to put things into perspective
and see the bigger picture. They rarely get caught in the heat-of-the-moment or
act impulsively. Instead they are calm, centered, and understanding that there
is much more to the world then what immediately meets the eye.
If something goes wrong in their life, they don’t get
too upset because they know that life goes in phases, and there will always be
highs and lows. No single moment in life can ever define you because you are a
dynamic individual in a dynamic world.
On the other hand, people who can’t see the bigger
picture often get overwhelmed and flustered when something goes wrong. They are
too narrowly focused in the moment, and not taking the time to step back and
see the larger view of what’s happening.
“In order to properly understand the big picture,
everyone should fear becoming mentally clouded and obsessed with one small
section of truth.” - Xun Zi
“I always had a larger view. I’m interested in real
life – my family, my friends. I have tried never to define myself by my
success, whatever that is. My happiness is way beyond roles and awards.” - Amy
Adams
“We think too small. Like the frog at the bottom of the
well. He thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he surfaced,
he would have an entirely different view.” - Mao Tse-Tung
Learn
from other happy and successful brains. We can learn a lot from
other happy and successful individuals. By understanding what beliefs and
habits contribute to their success we can model those beliefs and habits into
our own lives. If you want to improve a particular area of your life, then find
a couple people who already excel in that area of life. Study them. Ask them
questions. Have them show you their technique and share their stories.
The more willing you are to learn from others
(especially people who are more skilled or intelligent than you), the more
successful you will be. Talking and listening to others is one of the best ways
to get more perspective into what you want to improve in life – and how you can
do it.
“People never improve unless they look to some standard
or example higher and better than themselves.” - Tyron Edwards
“The best teachers of humanity are the lives of great
men.” - Charles H. Fowler
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your
ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that
you, too, can become great.” - Mark Twain
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