Beliefs of Happy and Successful People

One thing I’ve noticed about almost every single happy and successful person is that they share a lot of the same attitudes and beliefs about life. Throughout my coaching career, I’ve worked with and examined people from all different professions and often times the ones who are the most happy and successful are also the ones who share very similar philosophies.

Here are some of the fundamental attitudes and beliefs that I believe contribute to their happiness and success:

Failure is a part of learning. This is one of the most commonly recited mantras in self-improvement – but for good reason. Individuals who see their mistakes and failures as a learning experience are much more prone to happiness and success. When we adopt the belief that “failure is a part of learning,” we become more resilient and courageous in the face of new challenges.

Instead of avoiding situations where we may embarrass ourselves or temporarily hurt our self-esteem, we embrace these challenges in life, even when we know they can be risky and painful. When we do fail, we don’t see it as the end of the world, but a point to grow from and improve upon. Here are some of my favorite quotes illustrating this concept:

“I didn’t fail a thousand times, I only found a thousand ways that don’t work.”  - Thomas Edison

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”  - Michael Jordan

“Failure is the foundation of success, and the means by which it is achieved. Success is the lurking-place of failure; but who can tell when the turning-point will come?”  - Lao Tzu

Focus on solutions, not just problems. Many people are great at finding problems and being critical about their lives; however, they do this without ever suggesting a possible solution or alternative to their situation.

They complain about this and that, but they never take an active role to actually improve these things. They focus on problems not to learn from them or fix them, but to make excuses for why their lives are miserable and unpleasant.

I believe acknowledging problems in life is important. I don’t recommend that we ignore things in our life that disturb us or make us unhappy. However, it’s also important to think of ways we can actually respond to these problems and change our circumstances.

Ruminating over problems in our life without a plan to take action is not only a waste of time, but it makes us even more sad and depressed. If you’re going to be critical about something in your life, focus on the ways you can actually make a difference.

Happy and successful people only think about problems when they are looking to improve them. They do not use them as excuses or self-deprecating banter.

“Focus 90% of your time on solutions and only 10% of your time on problems.” - Anthony D’Angelo

“I believe that if you show people the problems and you show them the solutions they will be moved to act.” - Bill Gates

“Looking back, I realize that nurturing curiosity and the instinct to seek solutions are perhaps the most important contributions education can make.” - Paul Berg

Be grateful for what you have.  Happy and successful people are incredibly grateful for their lives and everything they have: their relationships, their home, their job, their possessions, their talents, their achievements, etc.

Although successful people are often thought of as always hungry and striving – always trying to improve things, achieve their goals, and make things better – this inner drive doesn’t take away from the fact they are very happy and content with their lives.

I enjoy watching successful people give thank you speeches after achieving something really great. This is when their true colors shine through because you can tell many of them are extremely grateful for all the people and good fortune that contributed to their success.

Gratitude is an irreplaceable characteristic of true happiness and success. Even if we achieve great things in life, without gratitude we often find ourselves empty and discontent. Make sure you take the time to reflect on how lucky you are as a person (I believe everyone can find something to be grateful for).

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” - Epictetus

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” - Albert Schweitzer

“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” - Brian Tracy

See the bigger picture.  Happy and successful people have an uncanny ability to put things into perspective and see the bigger picture. They rarely get caught in the heat-of-the-moment or act impulsively. Instead they are calm, centered, and understanding that there is much more to the world then what immediately meets the eye.

If something goes wrong in their life, they don’t get too upset because they know that life goes in phases, and there will always be highs and lows. No single moment in life can ever define you because you are a dynamic individual in a dynamic world.

On the other hand, people who can’t see the bigger picture often get overwhelmed and flustered when something goes wrong. They are too narrowly focused in the moment, and not taking the time to step back and see the larger view of what’s happening.

“In order to properly understand the big picture, everyone should fear becoming mentally clouded and obsessed with one small section of truth.” - Xun Zi

“I always had a larger view. I’m interested in real life – my family, my friends. I have tried never to define myself by my success, whatever that is. My happiness is way beyond roles and awards.” - Amy Adams

“We think too small. Like the frog at the bottom of the well. He thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he surfaced, he would have an entirely different view.” - Mao Tse-Tung

Learn from other happy and successful brains.  We can learn a lot from other happy and successful individuals. By understanding what beliefs and habits contribute to their success we can model those beliefs and habits into our own lives. If you want to improve a particular area of your life, then find a couple people who already excel in that area of life. Study them. Ask them questions. Have them show you their technique and share their stories.

The more willing you are to learn from others (especially people who are more skilled or intelligent than you), the more successful you will be. Talking and listening to others is one of the best ways to get more perspective into what you want to improve in life – and how you can do it.

“People never improve unless they look to some standard or example higher and better than themselves.” - Tyron Edwards

“The best teachers of humanity are the lives of great men.” - Charles H. Fowler

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” - Mark Twain

Achieve your full potential and get the tools you need to excel in your life. Work with a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years’ experience empowering people to attain self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. Book a complimentary session at http://www.denisedema.com to get started in reaching your goals today! Phone, on-site and e-mail coaching available.

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Always Believe in Yourself

Achieving Happiness and Well-Being in Your Life!

We all want to be happy. When we're happy we are productive and become good at building meaningful relationships with those around us. However, happiness is a notoriously difficult thing to pin down and by focusing on it too intensely we can end up feeling unfulfilled. So think about what we need to do to flourish and to really be happy as a result. To help this process, here are some essential elements that should be in place for us to experience lasting happiness and well-being.

Positive Emotion
For us to experience well-being, we need positive emotion in our lives. Any positive emotion like peace, gratitude, satisfaction, pleasure, faith, inspiration, hope, curiosity, or love falls into this category and the message is that it's really important to enjoy yourself in the here and now.

Engagement
When we're truly engaged in a situation, task, or project, we experience a state of flow: time seems to stop, we lose our sense of self and we concentrate intensely on the present. This feels really good! The more we experience this type of engagement the more likely we are to experience well-being.

Positive Relationships
As humans we are social beings and good relationships are core to our well-being. Time-and-again we see that people, who have meaningful, positive relationships with others, are happier than those who do not. Relationships really do matter!

Meaning
Meaning comes from serving a cause bigger than ourselves. Whether this is a specific person or a cause that helps humanity in some way, we all need meaning in our lives to have a sense of well-being.

Accomplishment/Achievement
Many of us strive to better in some way whether we're seeking to master a skill, achieve a valuable goal or win in some competitive event. As such, accomplishment is another important thing that contributes to our ability to flourish.

Now that you're aware of all the things that make up your well-being and happiness, you can start to work on each one to live a rich, meaningful life.

Let's look at how you can do this.

Positive Emotions
Although we can't be happy all the time, we need to make sure that we often experience positive emotions such as pleasure, happiness, contentment, peace, joy, and inspiration. If you feel you're not experiencing enough positive emotions in your life, stop and think about why?

First, look at your career. Do you get to use your talents and strengths in your current role? If not how can you change that either in your current position or in another so you are valued for your contributions? Determine your strengths and look at ways to share them with others.

Next, identify people, events, or things that give you pleasure. Start to surround yourself with those things even if it is on a small scale in the beginning. For example, imagine you love being outdoors, surrounded by nature but spend a lot of time working inside. Why not bring plants or flowers into your space to experience this source of happiness in your work environment?

Spend time with positive people, do things that make you smile, and look at activities that bring joy to your world. The aim here is to find ways to bring positive emotions and enjoyment into your daily routine, and to ensure that you don't keep on putting these things off into a future that never quite arrives.

Engagement
Do you feel engaged in your career and in life? Engagement is about being fully involved and enthusiastic about what you are doing. You can experience deep engagement when participating in sports, spending time with friends, or working on things that you're fascinated with.

You can increase your engagement at work by minimizing distractions, improving concentration and focusing on projects that provide an interesting challenge for your skills. When you feel engaged you are more productive, effective and put passion into your work.

Look at your interests. Do you make enough time for a favorite hobby or physical activity? Many of us let this important personal time slip away, especially when we're stressed or overloaded with work. Try to devote plenty of time to activities that make you feel happy and engaged. This is very important to attain life/work balance.

Positive Relationships
Do you have positive relationships in your life? These can be with anyone: family, friends, neighbors, or colleagues. Do you wish you had more of these relationships?

You probably spend a good majority of your time at work, so it's important to start here if you want to build great relationships. Good working relationships give us several benefits and make our work more enjoyable when we have strong relationships with those around us. Also, people are more likely to go along with changes that we want to implement and become more innovative and creative.

Looking at your personal life, do you enjoy the company of your family and friends, and do you find that they're positive and supportive? If not, then it's important to take the time to understand why. Are you devoting enough time to strengthening these relationships? And do you need to make more of an effort to reach out to your friends and family? Don’t wait for another time to have these relationships flourish because things can change in an instant.

Make a commitment to spend significant time with a friend or family member on a regular basis. Relationships take engagement and hard work, and they're often strengthened only when we make an effort to connect with other people. On the other hand, you can't do much to change people so if your relationships aren't positive, you need to decide how far should you seek to preserve them? Know when to cut your ties and put your energy into the relationships that serve your life and are rewarding for you to be in.

Meaning
Do you feel that your life and work has meaning? That is, do you feel that you're connected in some way to a cause bigger than yourself? Most of us want to believe that we're working and living for a greater purpose. So finding meaning is important to our overall sense of well-being. When you set out to actively look for purpose in your life, the harder you try, the harder it can be to find. 

Remember chasing butterflies as a kid? The more you ran, the more they flew to escape you. But sometimes, when you just sat on the grass and watched, they'd come to rest on your leg – if only for a moment. Finding purpose in your work can be very much like this. Don't run forward franticly, trying to find meaning. Instead, do a quiet, more thoughtful search. The meaning and purpose you seek may come to you when you least expect it.

Certain activities, such as mentoring a co worker, spending time with our family, volunteering, or performing acts of kindness can really improve our sense of meaning in life. If you feel your own life is lacking meaning, do these things - you'll find them hugely satisfying.

Accomplishments/Achievement
This might be the trickiest element simply because it's very easy to take things too far. For instance, in many societies achievement is highly valued and if we're not always busy, it can seem that we're not living up to expectations and living a full life. However to continually push ourselves too hard can easily run ourselves ragged in pursuit of the next achievement.

So take your time and prioritize your drive in life. If you suspect you're not devoting enough time or energy to accomplishing your dreams, then start now by first identifying what you truly want to accomplish and discover what you'd love most to do in your life. When you set concrete goals for yourself, and discuss them with your manager, partner, parents, coach or mentor, you are creating your image and path of the future. The images you hold about the future serve to guide and inspire you. They influence your present actions and decisions. This is why the power to create your future success comes from within.
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By focusing on all of these elements, you can flourish in life and find the happiness and well-being you want. This is a good starting point for living a great life!

Achieve your full potential today! Work with a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years experience empowering individuals, executives and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional and personal lives. Book a complimentary session today!

Embrace the Moment and Learn To Be Happy

Simply by learning to embrace and live in the moment you can achieve the happiness that seems to elude most people. Simple living is a concept that most people can’t imagine because the world is so complicated. Actually your world is what you have made of it and its pace has been created by you. Think for a minute of a typical day in your life. Is it rushed from the time you wake up? Are you stressed about everything along the way or is it calm and peaceful throughout the day? The way you are living is what you have chosen, not what has been given to you. Your life is the blueprint of the choices you have made, and will only change when you change the plan. Being happy is all relative to what it is that makes you happy. Everyone can learn to embrace the moment and be free of the patterns they have created. Think about if you are living your life expecting someone else to make you happy, or are you taking responsibility for your own happiness? Do you you rely on money, family and friends to make your world happy even though those are outside forces that were created by your own decisions? Why can’t you live in the moment if it brings you joy instead of expecting something more from others?

A good place to start is with your own internal dialogue and what is in your head. If you tell yourself each morning that you are able to handle things calmly and honestly, and then remind yourself throughout the day that you are what you think, and then you will start to become aware of your actions. Look at the things that take place throughout your day without judgment so there is less stress in your life. Treat others with respect and respect will be given to you in return. Happiness comes from within, but how you have chosen to live in the external world that you have created, will determine how often you feel peace, joy, and respect. To be able to live with an attitude of gratitude and to be thankful for the simple things that cross your path every day will bring you more joy. Allowing that joy to enter your heart will bring peace to your soul. Internal peace is always found through self awareness and growth.

Make a list of the things that make you happy and look at how much, or how often those things are in your life now. Each day you should surround yourself with what actually brings you joy. First, knowing what those things are, and then creating the space for them will be the start of making joy prevalent in your life. You must also start to create boundaries and eliminate the things and people that are not serving you as well. Stop giving your energy each day to things that drain you. Start becoming aware of how you spend your time and what moments you are missing along the way. Appreciating simple pleasures each day will slow your mind down and bring you back to the basics of feeling joyful. Being aware of what’s right in front of you will force you into the moment. Embracing the many little moments that take place in a day can bring a lifetime of happiness and joy to your life.

Find a minute of peace in your day or evening to just close your eyes and give thanks with a happy heart for all your blessings. Call people you love more often and spend less time with those who are always angry. Create an outside activity each day even if it’s for 15 minutes and connect with the world. Commit yourself to organize something in your home or at work to get your surroundings in line with your values. Make a commitment to change just one thing today and embrace the moment, even if the moment is reading this article. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Once you are relaxed, open your eyes and think about what you just read and how you can apply something to your present circumstance.

It’s really up to you to make the simple changes that will help you embrace moments that can bring you happiness. If your world is so complicated that you can’t stop and feel some joy throughout your day, then enjoyment of the moment is lost. Stress and judgment will not bring you the happiness you deserve. You always have the power to bring joy into your life because your life is your own, and happiness is a choice. Uncomplicate the day and release the negative thoughts in your mind. The simple things that make you truly happy will become more prevalent and those moments you embrace will define your happiness.

“When we are capable of living in the moment free from the tyranny of “shoulds,” free from the nagging sensation that this moment isn’t right, we will have peaceful hearts. “ -- Joan Borysenko

Denise Dema is a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years experience empowering individuals, entrepreneurs and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. To learn more about the author and her practice please visit www.denisedema.com